tlcasap

Thank you so much for all your help. It means so much to know that people care about eachother and even though you feel like the only one this is happening to it is not true. You're right it does feel good to be next to my ex but it is not healthy. I do need a break. I can't believe how many people feel that love knows no age and yet my parents cant see that. I cant believe that I even care what anyone else thinks..if I know how I felt about him. I really screwed things up but I dont even care about my own feelings I am just so sorry I hurt him. Anyway thanks again ...this all means so much to me.

wow that is really nice. I wish I could be that good at writing how i feel. You have a quality that is great and far too many people hide. You express yourself. I would say to give it to him but before you do understand that people don't always feel the same way back and it hurts when they dont but its reality. As long as your honest with yourself you will never regret a thing. If he does not care about you in that way you have to look at the bright side and be thankfull that at least he is a part of your life and respect his feelings. But not telling him how you feel would be much worse.

I am a 24 year old female. I had my first real relationship when I was 17. I was just turning 18 when I met a guy my parents knew who was 29. Disgusting right? Not really. I really fell in love with him or did I? We dated for about 3 solid years and then things seemed to fall apart. I wanted to go out and he wanted me to grow up. So instead we broke up. On and off. On and off. On and off. It went like this for the next two years. He cheated on me in the 3 solid (or so I thought) years we were together. I cant say things were great all the time and I may even understand why he did what he did. I am over the fact that he cheated and it hurt. I learned that trust is hard to ever regain and it shoulld be the strongest in a relationship you want to last. But the thing is that we are human and we make mistakes. I forgave and went back but found myself not trusting. If I could of video taped how pathetic I was it may have been beneficial to me. So we broke up again. And this has been going on until this very day. I hate myself for it because as much as I tell myself I deserve better I always go back. He claims he loves me but we see love differently. I think love is being able to trust eachother and doing little things that seem so stupid but mean so much and he thinks love is the fact that he wants to marry me and have my children. THE worst part about my situation is I finally meet someone who sees love as I do. He did nothing but great things for me and it scared me to death but I went with it ..and it felt good. So whats the problem? He was almost twice my age, divorced and has 2 kids he rarely sees. At first none of it mattered but the way I felt about him and the way he made me feel. beautiful. When I told my parents, their first reaction was that I was crazy and then they said Whatever makes me happy. Except when they said that I know they still disapproved. I ended up cheating on this wonderful guy while he was out of town this weekend with my ex boyfriend that I have went back and forth with for years. I told the guy that I cheated on him because I couldn't live with myself another minute. He told me that he still cared about me even though I hurt him and that if we wanted we could get through this. I am in such a mess I want to throw up. I'd seriously rather be alone because I don't want anyone to love me anymore ..all I do is end up hurting people. I need some advice and It feels good to know I am not the only one. Am I crazy? why do I date older men? Do I really love my ex??? Why do I keep going back ..it is really insane. Thanks for listening.

Well I have read your story and I am new as well. I am a 24yr old female also but I am heterosexual. I have a gay brother and understand how difficult it is to have a life style that is not fully accepted in society and that alone is huge to overcome. I think you should be proud of yourself for knowing who you are and what you want in life. When I read your story..your thoughts are clear. You are a smart person. It is true that you need to find out what you want in life and who you are before you can truly let anyone else enjoy and understand who you are. The fact that this other girl is bi-sexual is what gets me. She is probably very uncertain of who she is and what she wants. She is experimenting with you and you are finding that you really care about her. I think the first thing you need to do is ask yourself if you want to be with someone who is bisexual or do you want someone who knows that they only like to be with women? do you think that if she is with you and then maybe she will find that she will only want to be with women too? I think that that is unrealistic. You have been hurt in the past and you are proceeding with caution and seeking advice and that is great but don't make the same mistake. You want more than something sexual and you can have that and you shouldn't settle for anything less. I believe that you need to be with someone who is also sure of what they want and also knows alot about themself. You seem to be "looking" for a relationship and as many times as it is said it holds true. You cant look. It will just happen. You should be honest with this girl and tell her that your feelings are becoming more than just friends and find out how she feels about it. Not communicating is the worst thing you can do. If you are always open and honest with eachother no matter how scary it may be, you will always have the truth and it will save you alot of pain later. good luck and just be honest.