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kvb10

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  1. kvb10
    Day 6... had a great day. Danced, sang, went into town to get some things, went for a run. Enjoying my good day. Starting to find my old self again... Remembering how it was when I was single before... I was happy and it wasn't scary and I did anything I wanted, whenever I wanted. No worrying about going to my ex's house, trying to figure out what to do, etc. Just all about ME! Being selfish is so much fun.
  2. kvb10
    Thanks for the words bitebenot.
  3. kvb10
    Day 5... although I had some good days this week, today is a lower day. I'm thinking about her and wondering how she is able just to completely cut me out of her life. Wondering if she is mad at me or doesn't like me anymore. I thought I handled everything very well though. Wondering when we'll ever talk again but knowing it will never be the same. Guess I'm just not having the most optimistic day...
  4. kvb10
    155 days.. rock on. I wonder how I'll be in 151 days.. My day 4 has just come to an end. Soon I've got to get her stuff together and give it to my roomie to take to her. That's another task that might be a little hard. Although I am doing a lot better and have started moving on, I do still get these sad moments where I wish this hadn't happened. But surprisingly, I've been making pretty good progress considering it was about 2 weeks ago that we broke up. I'm able to get along in the days, smile, laugh and see friends. I know it's going to be okay. It's just that these nostalgic moments will come and go over the next few months. Everyone keep up the good progress.
  5. kvb10
    day 3... doing okay today!
  6. kvb10
    19 days is a great achievement. at my point i cant imagine being there. Hope your day gets better.
  7. kvb10
    Round 2, Day 2... dreamed about her last night and thought we were still together for the first few seconds after i woke up. So this morning was feeling pretty down and the loss is feeling fresh again. The dream seems pretty clear so I am remembering it as if it was a memory. Sucks. I know it's only the beginning though. Gonna try to get my head up now and take on the day with some positivity. I am remembering all the things I did wrong the last couple of days and noticing how difficult I was at times. I have a lot of things to work on over the next few months to get myself to the place I want to be. bitebenot: you're right I am not going to think about the friendship thing just yet. I guess at the moment it just makes it a little easier because then I don't have to look at it as if I will never see her again. I truly care about her and truly liked her as a person too. Towards the end of the relationship, it was kind of like we were just becoming friends anyways. But I am friends with my first love now and so I know it is eventually possible when both of the parties are there. And that first relationship was much worse and ended worse than this one. Whatever happened to committment?? What ever happened to following through with it when you say you'll be with someone forever? Our relationship wasn't bad by any means... She just wanted to be alone and no longer be with me. I am so loyal though.. I would have stayed by her side through good and hard times. There was a time long ago when people got in a relationship and that was it. These days everyone just leaves when things get hard or finds new relationships. Heart break like this is a really hard thing to go through. This is my second time and I don't want to go through it again.
  8. kvb10
    Round 2... Day 1. It's over and done. I know this now. There is no looking back. Sure wish I could be saying Day 8 today, but in that case I wouldn't have the closure I have now. I am still sad and I miss her... but I also can't really imagine how it would be if we got back together right now. She said she needed NC and I said I needed NC too... We decided we would do NC until we're ready to try to be friends... so here goes a new journey.
  9. kvb10
    Yea it is time to move on. I'm not even sure I want her back in the future though. The phone call gave me some closure and some peace. Now I can HONESTLY for the first time say that NC is about ME.
  10. kvb10
    NC broken... She called... I answered. Here is the thread... I'm kind of annoyed but at least we have closure! I won't be posting about our relationship in the "getting back together" forum anymore.
  11. kvb10
    good luck! come here and read all the threads when you are feeling weak.
  12. kvb10
    Day 7... Almost made it a whole week. Felt a little backtracked on Thursday when I deleted her from my FB but I know that truly it was the best decision for ME. It may have made me look immature, but honestly since she already has another love interest, it was just better for me not to see it. I am sure she understands. She was already shocked the whole time that I have not gotten mad at her for leaving me and said she was blindsided by my calm reaction. Anyways.. today I've made myself a small schedule. I decided it is not going to hurt me to try. If at the end of the day I really feel like I would have been happier being miserable, then I've only wasted one day. Currently interneting and working on some tasks I have been putting off all week. In a couple of hours I'll go for my first run since the break up (normally I am an avid runner) and later today I will go to the gym and do my strength training (been slacking since the break up). This evening I think I will eat a frozen pizza and cookies and rent a movie from iTunes. I'm thinking Smokin Aces 2... NO romantic comedies.
  13. kvb10
  14. kvb10
    I am not a pro but it sounds like NC is the way to go. She will definitely miss you. If you are holding her hand through the break up, she is kind of having her cake and eating it too. She hasn't had a chance to see what life is like without you yet. I've been on NC for a week and I feel like it's helped. I know that at the time there is no chance for us to be together again because she fell in love with someone else. But since I was her first, I don't think she realized that it's not as simple as breaking up and going with someone else. I know for a fact she is missing the hell out of me and very depressed this week (her friends told me). If we were still talking, she wouldn't really be missing me so much, she'd probably just be feeling sorry for me and worrying about me. Plus I would still be giving her emotional support and confirming that she did the right thing. Anyways.. I am starting to realize that she wasn't as confused as she thought she was. She was pretty clear when she first said she was in love with someone else, I think it changed to confusion once she realized that it was really over and saw how much she hurt me. Then because she does truly care about me, feels mad at herself for hurting me. NC is the only choice for me because I can't have her feeling guilty or sorry for me if I ever have hopes of winning her back one day. I don't know your whole story but it sounds like NC would be good for you too.
  15. kvb10
    wow. Congratulations vertigo! You have a great achievement.
  16. kvb10
    also true... decisions... gonna try to block it out and worry about it when it happens.
  17. kvb10
    Thats a good point. After this contact I will make sure it's left open when or if we talk again. I think I'll tell her that she can contact me if she'd like though.
  18. kvb10
    Thanks guys!
  19. kvb10
    Day 6... Was pretty depressed today, worse than during the week. Cried a bit, laid in bed feeling lifeless. Finally got up and showered and cleaned my room and went and bought some groceries for the first time since the break up (8 days). Gotta start eating at some point! Anyways... I am trying to focus on the fact that there is really -nothing- i can do right now to change the situation. I just have to work on me, and once I get myself where I need to be, if I still want her back, I can try that then. But for now, I've gotta get my life back. She's supposed to be contacting me in the next couple of days to check in (we decided to do NC for a week at first). Not sure what she'll say (its definitely over, its not like she needed time to think). I think she just wants to check in because it was a clean break up and we both miss each other and feel a loss. I'll probably write back because I do want us to have some kind of relationship one day.. whatever that may be. She told me the same thing. I'll keep it short and sweet, but also concerned and positive. After that I'm back on the NC challenge. I'll keep you posted.
  20. kvb10
    congrats anon. I've always believed that all things that rhyme are true... so I guess it makes sense that you're feeling fine on day 9. I'm on day 6.. on day 9 I have plans to meet an old friend so I guess that means I'll be feeling fine too. Sorry I just have to enjoy my momentary good-ish mood.
  21. kvb10
  22. kvb10
    Question about getting back together. After a few months of no contact, is it safe to initiate a friendship?? Or does that ruin the chances of getting back together?
  23. kvb10
    Thanks for the link, that is a really informative post. Good to hear from a dumper. My situation is slightlyyy different because she got a new love interest at the end of ours (but didnt cheat and isnt with the love interest now) but she does still love me and misses me and is taking the break up just as hard as I am. She said she was so sorry this happened and that she wish it hadn't and that she is mad at herself that it did (that she got feelings for someone else and that we didnt work out). So who knows... maybe one day she will come back. Until then, I've got to keep working through this pain and get myself back on my feet. I'm glad I'm giving her her space. I'm glad I'm giving myself the space too. Thanks a lot Anon. It's given me the extra kick I need to keep my head up tonight.
  24. kvb10
    although everyone tells me theres no chance of getting her back, I feel like I didn't even try to reason with her. What if she really is gone for good? What if she starts seeing her crush and they start going out? I can't be friends with her while she is dating someone she left me for... It's going to be a LONG weekend.
  25. kvb10
    A... i miss you so much. what can i do to bring you back? Why can't we give this thing another shot?
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