Melting

Im obviously having a bad day today, cos my emotions are all over the place. Hopefully I wake up in a better mood.

I have realised that the last 10mths I have only been living MY dream, it was not yours, you just added little bits to keep my dream alive. I gave you all my power and you happily took it all. I wasted all that time on a dream that was never to be. I only have myself to blame. Please don't ever contact me again. I am incapable of ever believing anything you could say too me..... Your so * * * * ed up and you happily took me along for the ride. It angers me that I have to see your face at work every day and be polite.... I hate it with a passion..

I am working on myself, perhaps you should think about doing the same

Just got to get you out of my head!

You just drain me of everything I have and I allow it.......

I am finally where I need to be, even when you texted me sat night.... I was emotionless... I no longer believe a word that comes out of your mouth!

I know I am definitely getting over you. I still feel like a fool for how I have behaved these last few months, guess I really was in love with you. Anyway, I am taking control of my life and although my days are wishy washy for the most part I am not sad anymore.

For the last few days I have started to feel like a fool. I have chased all your breadcrumbs for the last 4mths, believing your every word, living in hope. But now I realise the hope you were telling me to keep, was merely just an excuse from you, as you wanted me to keep giving you attention. In your heart, you didn't really want me, but you kept telling me I was there. I really feel like an idiot and wished I had just said * * * * you when you dumped me. Now I know why they all say go NC, just a shame I listened with my heart and not my head! Not only did I suffer the broken heart, now I just feel like a complete twit!

You are seriously an idiot.... but then again so was i to fall for you!

Good bye.... The child you have turned into is not the man I loved.

Good Morning....

Day 8 NC BU 1st Sept.... working together. This is the longest I have ever gone and I am finally reaching the place, where I can control not contacting him. It is extremely hard as we work together. Be strong you know you can do this, he isn't worth it.

I will be seeing you today at work and I am dreading it. When will my anxiety over working with you go away? Why couldn't you just disappear from my life, like normal people do? Do you not see after ripping my heart out over and over, how horrible and uncomfortable it is for me to work with you? What hurts the most is that you just don't care about any of it.

Just been on 2wks holidays and loved it! Unfortunately it is back to work tomorrow and I will see your face. My world is such an unhappy place with you in it.... why did you have to come work with me?

Not down and out, just wish i could forget you

Feeling better today, just would be nice not to see you at work

Day 7 NC I have been doing really well and feeling very positive, but this morning I have awoken with great sadness and missing him. Hopefully it is just a bad day

I woke up really missing you today, kinda sucks as I have had a really good week without thinking of you too much

Good Morning....

I think you should go and get yourself some counselling, you really need it...... ur messed up big time!

So close, yet so far away

We have our work dinner tonight and I am soooooooooooo nervous, please don't be a * * * * ! Its going to be hard to be out together with our friends and not be a couple.

Nothing really to say, is there? You have made your mind up not to talk too me and that is that.

Day 3 Feeling ok, kinda...

Day 2 Feeling strong today, going to see my therapist. His lack of care for me, makes me stronger every day... even if at the same time it breaks my heart