AngelicStar5

I know in a relationship no one is right and no one is wrong, but this time my boyfriend has done it! Here's some background info. I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 23. We are in a serious relationship and are already dreaming about the future together after we graduate college. Our one year anniversary is coming up and he took the day off work to spend it with me, but he also scheduled to go to a car show that entire day with his "boys". I know that on your anniversary, a loving man should spend that day with his love and reflect on all the good and bad memories of that year, just remenice. Anyways that hurt me tramendously, but i convinced myself that if he really loves me he wouldn't have been with me for this long so we should celebrate everyday as a day of love... anyways that's not the problem. My problem is, is that for the past 2 weeks he's been treating me so well and filling my head with all these positive ideas of us together and then he turns around yesterday being cranky and ignoring me and just about everything we ended up fighting on. it got to the point where he's just like "leave me alone, just go home".. i was mad because we both work and we don't spend any time together anymore and he can have the heart to just tell me to go home.. all he had to do was just give me a hug and say "sorry".. i ended up ripping his calendar with our anniversary month and said "this is what our anniversary means to you". his dad was in the other room and i was walking out of his house when my bf called me a "b-i-t-c-h" and his dad was like "what's going on".. i said.. "your son just called me a bitch"... anyways i feel like my boyfriend can be loving one day, and a monster the next.. that leaves me hurting really deep inside.. and i hate how his family knows that we had an argument. I like it sorta too because i'm hoping his dad can tell him to treat women a bit better because i feel he can be so imature at times. I havn't spoke to him since and im in tears waiting by the phone, knowing it won't ring. my boyfriend is to stubbourn to say he's sorry, and im left crying all day. i'm so sad that he can't recognize our anniversary. Should a real man dedicate this day to his woman?? please help me.

Hey, I enjoyed reading your long post. I type fast and somehow manage to do the same. I'm 20 and my boyfriend always says he wants his space. He can push me away, call me names, and be a complete you-know-what, and somehow i feel it's my fault I make him act like that. It's so hard for me to not pick up the phone because i'm so in love. I feel that when you love someone so much they will act the same, but it's not true, people express their love in ways that have nothing to do with the amount. My boyfriend, we've been together for a year and no matter how bad he treats me, i know he loves me because he would have broke up with me by now. I don't know man.. all i can say is that i know you have good intentions cuz you sound a lot like me.. always doing the sweetest things, but they get you nowhere.

thank you so much for you help. I know what you're saying is true. Just this morning I called him because it's his day off from work and he said he feels pressured to hang out w/ me. I was like in the past it was a given we would hang out now i feel like im begging him and he says it feels like a chore. anyways i'm emotionally torn right now. I feel alone. You all talk about "hang out with your friends" i recentlly moved and don't have any. *tear

I've been with this guy for almost a year now. I feel like i'm suffering. This burning I'm feeling is so unreal. For awhile I've been avoiding myself and I'm not going to anymore. I feel like my boyfriend needs to listen, but he thinks it's a waste of time. I asked him nicely to stop putting me down and he said "i'll respect it, but i don't know what you're talking about", he says im not confident and all this other stuff, but i've never been happier because i landed a great job opportunity. I confide in him about my past and everything, and now he uses my ex-boyfriends against me saying i've never had a healthy relationship with any of them. He says things like.. "i don't know where i'll be, i can't tell you if i'll stop loving you, maybe there's other people" this hurts so bad because it's like saying he isn't confident being with me right now. He says he'll let me know if there's another chick because he doesn't believe in cheating. I mean that's nice he'd do me that honor of telling me, but at the same time he's saying maybe i'm not all i'm cracked up to be. I'm really in love with this guy and all his guy friends are always jealous of how well i treat him. I do the sweetest things, like i'll come to his work, pick up his car and go to the car wash and bring it back. He says that talking to me on the phone is sometimes boring and that there's a part of him that doesn't love me. I say then dump me then! His reply is that "i'm still with you arn't I".. basically I feel like every part of my soul loves this guy, while there's parts of him that doesn't even know yet. I think after a year a guy should know if he's totally in love with you right? When I start to cry he's like.. "now you're being a baby, you're just doing that to make me feel bad, and it's not working, that's so unnatractive and such a turn off" I guess I could go on forever about this, i don't even know what's right or wrong.. all i know is that i'm feel so sad and I wish someone would listen. I feel that I should get out of the relationship b/c of the way he feels about me, but I don't want to get out of the relationship because of the way I feel about him. I tell him to brake up with me if he really feels that way, but he won't, he says he's with me for a reason, right? He loves me but he feels that I can be a baby sometimes because im sad or that im stressed. he thinks i should be happy all the time. He just needs to support me. I think he needs to realize how I woman is, because we're not strung like the men are. Maybe i should leave him alone for awhile? I want to not call him and make him feel like I don't need him, but I get lonely and miss him. This makes me look weak right??, but I don't play games. I just want a decent happy relationship where we can talk about anything and not get upset. He makes me upset because he makes me feel unconfident that he wants to be with me. If he can say "yes, i'm serious about you," then i have nothing to worry about because our foundation isn't being shaken. I feel like I have no foundation to work on. I feel empty, heartbroken. I bet tomorrow we'll see each other and act like nothing happened, but I feel that everytime that I'm with him i'm capable of loosing him. He's really independent to the point he can be brutally honest. I feel that he's so independent that it will take a trajedy for him to realize that one day someone he loves might be gone. I guess i want to know how to deal with someone like this, any opinions, thoughts.

Here's the info: I'm 20, he's 23, we're both in college. Been together a year. I'm not sure if the problem is me or my boyfriend. I know that when you are in love you will do whatever it takes to hold on to that, no matter what. I am a problem solver, he likes to think problems disapear, which is not the case! We are so in love when we are happy and goofing around, but we can argue over the dumbest things!!! I like to talk things out, he calls me names and makes things so much worse. for instance he can call me a bitch, say im a disapointment, that i should move back home..etc. Then the next day things will be great.. and the next day we'll get into an argument and I'll get out of his car and he'll drive off and leave me in a pitch black mall parking garage at 1 in the morning. He can be so cold and hang up the phone and totally say things to piss me off even more so i wont want to talk to him so he can have his space. I hope this makes sense. I do everything in my power to make things right.. while he doesn't know what to do and i'm left crying all the time. I made a comment one night saying "what if i was raped in the parking lot because you left me there" and he replied "it would be your fault and i could never be with a person who was raped.. too much drama".. i was hurt because i believe you are sopose to stick with that person you love through any situation. Don't get me wrong, I can go on forever about how cold he is.. But he can be the opposite and be the most loving caring boyfriend you will ever know. He's got a great family.. everything..Someone please help me with some advice. I know he loves me because he wouldn't be with me..He's great looking and wouldn't have a problem with finding other chicks. He's really into me and would want to spend the rest of his life with me.. i just dont know what is right or wrong anymore and what i should think about all this. someone help please.