melrich

Yes you are right, she can control her periods with the pill. If rather than taking the sugar pills at the appropriate cycles she just continues to take the next round of contraceptive pills a period can be delayed indefinitely. I don't know that it is a healthy thing to do for long periods of time but certainly many women will skip one cycle from time to time.

You could never say 100% for sure. I mean you can pick up cold sores from kissing and cold sores are a strain of the herpes virus. Any cross contact with the genitals can potentially transfer STDs for example fingering a vagina and then masturbating yourself could potentially transfer an STD.

In your case as you describe you sound as though you would be about as safe as you would ever be. You could ask your partner whether she/he suspect they have an STD (even this is no guarrantee because some stds present no symptoms in certain people)

I agree with all the advice here. I myself am a step father and I think there are two important things to be aware of. First don't force yourself on the kids. Let them come to you and set the level of the relationship. Kids are very intuitive, they will see through any attempt to "manufacture" a relationship.

Second, as another poster remarked, let them have their time with the father. Initially they will see you as competition, you really need to ensure they understand that you accept their relationship with their dad.

One more thing, no matter what the natural mother is like or does, never, ever criticise her to the children. Even if they say bad things about her, never criticise. In fact you should go out of your way to speak positively about her whenever possible. Good luck it can be the most rewarding experience.

To an extent I think DopeStar is right. I met my partner through online dating so I know it works but I think there is one mistake that most people make with it (including me to begin with).

Most people spend weeks, sometimes even months chatting over internet of via email or on the phone before they meet. I think this usually results in people building up completely false expectations about the other party, not to mention that by the time they meet face to face they know just about everything that is interesting about each other.

I'd recommend that if you find someone you think you might like, don't chat for hours over a number of weeks, have a couple of short chats by whatever medium and then arrange to meet as soon as possible.

Remember to always make the first couple of meetings in a public place, don't give out your address or too many details about yourself until after you have met a couple of times and are feeling comfortable with the situation, always tell someone else what you are doing. Most people you meet online are normal great people looking for love. Unfortunately you have to be aware that there are some weirdos out there too.

A question for females. I have recently started dating a new girlfriend. My experience with her is different from any I've had with other women before. She reaches orgasm in usually 2 to 4 minutes of stimulation. My previous experience with probably 15 or so partners is that it would usually take more like 5 to 15 minutes.

I know she is not faking because she gets this really red flush all over her neck and accross the shoulders at the point of climax and for a short period after. I can also feel her muscle contractions and shudders quite distinctly.

What I was wondering was do some girls just have the ability to reach orgasm quickly? Or could it be just that we are new together and that adds to the excitement and it will eventually wear off? What would most women say is the usual period of stimulation required to climax?

Well you are saying I guess what you feel but really this is a very ordinary attempt at poetry. Most of your couplets simply don't make sense

It's hard to love another when they dont show the same love to you,

With all of your heart and soul you try to make things work to.

Don't concentrate so much on making a rhyme. Think about the meaning of what you want to say. If you try and shoehorn words into a rhyme it will lose depth and meaning.

As a guy i think that the brazillian is much better in terms of having sex, intercourse or oral. I would not even bother shaving, after a while the smooth feeling only lasts for a day or two. Waxing will stay smooth for a couple of weeks. My g/f has been doing it for 6 years. She says first few times hurt like hell, gets a bit easier after that (still hurts). But after 6 years she grows back pretty fast and that feeling between smooth and the next wax is not so great. I'd suggest if you are considering going for a permanent brazillian be prepered for frequent waxing. Forget shaving...you just cannot get the same effect and your pubic area will look like a man's 5 o'clock shadow. Oh ...yes...leave a strip.

So if why don't you live for the advice you can dispense on this site. I have seen your posts you seem like a genuine caring person. No need to kill yourself at the moment. Keep going for a while, see how things pan out.

I'm sorry Jay for all your dramas. Your life is certainly far removed from mine. After reading all your posts I have to say this. The tragic story here is your daughter Sierra. She is being used as some ort of bizarre bargaining chip in this story of abuse, sex with multiple partners, drugs, alcohol, suicide attempts and aimless lives that the two of you are leading. You keep professing your love for Sierra but really if you truly loved her you and Kim would sit down, put all your crap behind you and talk maturely about what is best for her. The truth is the two of you don't matter, whether you are in love or hate each other, want to have sex or beat each other to death...the only thing that matters is that you sacrifice your personal desires for the sake of the furure of your daughter. Both of you need to stop wallowing in your own insecurities and immaturity, grow up quick and get your daughter out of the downward spiral that your lives are in now.

No problem Amy. Use it as a learning experience. Good luck with everything.

Seriously? You want brute honesty? You are 16 years old! You have no idea what a difficult break up is. Try seperating after 5, 10, 15 years of marraige with kids involved! In 10 years time you will laugh at yourself for how you feel now. This will be one of your easiest break ups. Believe me.

Hi edougale,

I have just been through a somewhat similar situation. You use the word co-dependency a number of times and I think that is very apt. After such a long relationship we stop thinking of ourselves as individuals and start to think of ourselves as being part of couple. It is hard to find our self again.

In my case, after 14 years and a number of breakups, we had the final one. She initiated it, i didn't want it. After about 4 months I thought I should move on and I found a partner. My ex then started to have regrets and it was a difficult time for both of us, she had not made much attempt at moving on. I think you need to work on seeing yourself as an individual again, and know that there is a life outside the relationship you had and often a much better life. It will be hard, i understand that but put yourself at the centre of the universe for a while...every day will get better.

I think your problem is that you are concentrating on thinking about what you are going to say next which means you are not listening to what the other person is saying. Good conversationalists are good listeners, develop your listening skilss and you will find that conversations will flow naturally. There are many books and sources of advice pertaining to listening skills available. try starting with one of those.

I think hubman is correct. You the behaviour your husband displays is classically depressive. You should encourage him as a first step to seek professional help. If it is depression, your trying to initiate activities to break him out of it will only cause further withdrawal. Find out if it is first and work backwards from there.

Hi Bzeus,

I think this is a very common situation. I know about 3 years ago I suddenly got the urge to track down a few people (not exes just friends) I was very close to when i was young but hadn't seen of heard of for almost 20 years. I don't know why we do it, melancholia, nostalgia etc. See if you have the same feelings in a month or so ( I also found that it was a desire that went away quickly) if you do I don't think there would be any harm in tracking her down. Maybe you want to know nothing more than she is alright and life turned out well for her. I know that was my main thing.

Cheers

Ask her.

It is difficult to argue with your opinion and ultimately someone who is going to commit suicide will not be swayed by whether it is legal or illegal, good or bad. The question is more a moral one than a question of logic. Society cannot condone the choice of suicide because to do so creates an environment whereby unstable people (suicidal) see it as a legitimised option to their problems. The issue with this is that too many people already commit suicide over fairly insignificant issues, issues that probably could have been resolved if assistance was sort somewhere else.

Suicide should remain an absolute last resort, not a legitimised, viable first instance option. That said....no one is ever going to be prosecuted for having committed suicide.

I think you have done really well with this poem...you have captured a particular human frailty brilliantly. There is one line I think you should change or get rid of,

"Waiting for our eternal doom"

The whole poem seems to be about your feeling of insignificance in your environment but this line seems to elevate that insignificance to a type of martyrdom, that there is a greater purpose in the feelings you have. I think the piece would read better and make more sense if you stuck with the the theme of you and your feelings of futility and insignficance.

Disingenuous? I don't see how. I've been nothing but honest and frank the entire time.

Hi CBFan

You need to check the meaning of disngenuous.

What exactly are you looking to achieve out of this informal survey? It all seems a bit disingenuous to me.

You should not brush your teeth more than twice per day, overbrushing can ultimately lead to gum problems. Also you should really avoid using whitening agents, they are usually either abrasive or contain some type of bleaching agent...either way long term they will damage your tooth enamel.

Not point brushing your tongue, it is just a muscle and has no odor. The saliva that coats the tongue has odor. As soon as you have brushed your tongue and closed your mouth it will be covered in saliva again. That odor will be determined by your hygiene practices and diet, flossing once per day and brushing twice per day is good practice. Avoid diets that are high in protien (meats mainly) for better breathe.

Finally electric tooth brushes are 4 times as effective as maual ones. But make sure if you get one that you purchase one that has at least 20,000 revs per minute and preferrably pulsating action...so you will have to spend a bit more.

A terrible tragedy and one that is repeated too often all over the world. But I have to ask cos I just don't get a couple of things,

Joshua was 16 (was he the driver or a passenger?)

You were the little girl Amber aged 7, how were you and Joshua best friends...it seems odd.

Well this is not a case of right or wrong. Both Brad and Al acted like immature prats. One of them...i'm not sure which...simply heightened this immaturity by then worrying about the fact that his girlfriend might be just independent enough to have a view that differed from his own. She should cut her losses and walk away from either Brad or Al..preferably both...was that the question?

Hi HSBoy44,

Your problem is your underlying assumption...being in love means staying together forever. Love, like all other emotions is usually a passing phase (often a very long one). We are bought up on romanticised notions of love..that is is undying, that it is forever etc etc. Half the problem for people in love is trying to live up to what they think love should be. Well love as an emotion and a feeling can be as long as your entire life or as short as a day.

Of course teenagers can be in love...in fact some of the most passionate and strongest feelings you will ever have you'll have when you are a teenager. As you get older you tend to become far more pragmatic. And the feeling of love is what you feel at the time...it says nothing to the future and not much to the past. As you get older one of the things that you will learn is that your feelings in the present are real...you cannot think back and capture them and you cannot predict their intensity in the future.

Of course lives are more important.