Tylor

soul and cobro, I am glad I read this post. both your situations caught my eyes so fast that i got dizzy. My girlfriend was confused because her ex kept asking her for a second. he lives 10 min from her. After being with each other for more than a year she tells me she feels sorry for him and wants to give him another chance. I was like, what about me. Like you soul, she was concerned about her future with me. I was unemployed for the last 6 months. Her ex has a good job and is a hard worker. The funny thing is she broke up with him to be with me. She said I did so much more things to make her feel better and more special without her ever having to ask for it. I even f**k her better she tells. So I don't getting. She never have even said "i love you" to him. I was the first person she said it to. I gave this girl my whole heart without any hesitation. We broke up three weeks ago but are still talking. She is always honest with me. She tells me he visits often. I told her to give me some time alone b/c I can't stand talking to her and knowing she sees him. I know they only talk and when they go out, she takes her cousins with her. They have not gotten yet. I am just afraid by taking this time off, she will slowy start to have stronger feelings for him since my contacts with her now is helping her to remember me. I hope she thinks of me more when I am not around. But cobro, you are right, let her do her think. I will call her when I can accept that we are not together. I feel a little better knowing now i am not alone. Thanks

segagirl, My ex has not asked for help. I don't think she even realize she needs help. That is the difficult part and I don't want to upset her by bringing it up. I guess the best I can do now is to be there for her. Thank you

Hi everyone, My ex is going back to her previous boyfriend out of guilt. She is very negative about herself and says "I wish I could just die" sometimes. She would rather risk her happiness to be with him even if she does not love him. As long as he is happy with her, she will accept it. I was told that she needs to discover and love herself first before she can find what she really wants. I know I am not with her any longer but would like to help still. Would anyone know any sources that can help people learn to discover him or herself. I don't know where I can start to help her. Thank you Tylor

Thank you scotchtape for your insight. I never thought that she needed to love herself first. It now makes perfect sense why she would sacrifice her happiness to please and ease the pain of someone else. Do you know any websites that can help to discover and learn to love themselves? Thank you again. Tyloy

Hey, Sorry to hear that you are stuck in this situation. What you need to think about is how much your g/f means to you. Is it worth loosing her by helping the other girl out? You are taking a risk by being there for your friend and neglecting your g/f. Put yourself in your g/f's shoes. Would you be ok if she was spending time with a guy friend to support him. Be honest with yourself. I hope things work out for you. Good luck.

Hi everyone, I met Helena at a club. We exchanged numbers and went on from there. She told me on the that she has a boyfriend for two years who is currently in the marines in another state. I told her that I was also with someone. The honesty drew us even closer. We could talk about anything. I told her that my relationship with my girlfriend was going to end even if I did not meet her (Helena). She admitted that things were not going well with her relationship. She gave me the details and told me that he was not compassionate enough with her. After they make love, he would ignore her and go to sleep instead of holding or talking to her. She can't talk to him like she talks to me (about anything). Finally, I ended my relationship with my girlfriend and she ended hers. She told me how happy and carefree she is when she's with me. I cuddle with her. I kiss her face every chance I have with her. I made her feel special. Her boyfriend was very persistent and called her at work, her cell, and even come to her house to ask for a second chance. He says girls ask him out but he tells them he is waiting for her to come back to him. She tells me she think of him and I can understand that it takes time to forget someone. Several months later, I finally took her home to meet my parents. She started thinking of him again. She says seeing how I have a family and he does not make her feel sorry for him and that his only comfort was her. She asked me give her more time to try to forget him. Several month went by, she told that she still thinks of him alone, waiting for her. She felt guilty for leaving him and for being so mean to him. He did not do anything bad to her to leave him that way. She admitted that she had never said "I love you" to anyone but me. I truly believe her. But her guilt and leaving him for no good reason made me realize that she needs to solve this problem. I told her to take a month or two off to decide who she really wants. She says she needs to go back to give him a second chance even if she has stronger feelings for me. She can't stand thinking how lonely he is and of how cruel she was to him when she left. Slowly, she also brought up that she was thinking in the long run who could take care of her better. She told me that love is not enough these days. She said he is a very hard worker. He is financially stable and has a good job. She does not talk to her parents much. They always yell at her and complain for not staying with him. They like him a lot and tell her she would make a mistake if she looses him. As for me, I am trying to go back to school for a better career but she does not know if she can wait that long. She needs someone to spend time with her. She is also afraid that I might meet someone while in school. My weakness is that I tell her how I feel and when I feel it. I pour my heart out telling what she means to me. All this seems to make her more confused and distant from me. She says she loves me and can be happy with me but if she does not give him a second chance, she won't be able to move on. She knows she would risk loosing me but she does not want to think of him while she's with me. She asks me not to wait for her, what ever happens happens. She does not care if she will be happy with him. As long as he is happy, that is good enough for her. She feels that the way he treats and takes care of her, she could learn to eventually love him back. We were for one and a half years. She broke up with me three weeks ago. I still love very much and seek advice to how I can still get her back. This guy is a good guy and his is very persistent. I keep calling her to tell her I miss her. She still calls me sometimes because she still loves me and don't really know what to do. She is afraid if she goes back to him, she may not love him and still think of me. I wrote her poems but not sure if I should give them to her. Your advice is very much needed. I am sorry for the long message. Thank you