4wheel

Technically it is my business. Especially when I have to cancel my plans because she has to use my vehicle to go accross town and spend $10 in gas to drop off diapers. Give me a break. I am the one who has to listen to her complain about how much of a jerk he is etc. And by the way, if somebody cannot come up with 5$ to buy diapers, but can afford to go out to the bar etc. then their is a big problem. Also, he consistantly short changes her. On the last visit, he was supposed to have the child 3 days and nights, but it turned out to be only 1 day and an emergency popped up and she had to get him immediately. Well, come to find out he wanted to go out and party instead. This is the type of stuff that is pissing me off because you do not know what kind of a person he is and I cringe listening to her kiss is B***.

I told her I would back off because if this is to end, I want it done with peace and honesty. I don't want to have a bitter break up and become enemies, not because I am allowing myself to be a second choice. I have never given her money, nor has she asked for it. As far as using me for what I have and he doesn't, I do still ponder this situation. Plain and simple, her lying and misrepresentations have seriously tainted this. One of her friends said I need to "get over it" regarding the lying and move past this. We have had numerous discussions and they get me nowhere because she simply does not understand where I am coming from. Her sister even told her she thinks she talks to him too much and finds it disrespectful to me. Only time will tell.

To fill you in on some more info: I don't like the guy because he is a complete loser. The last time he watched the child, he called her because he did not have diapers. SHE had to give him $5 dollars to buy diapers with. He has no job, no home, no vehicle. In adddition, I have as recently as the day before yesterday, told her I would back off if she wanted to revive things with this guy. She told me nothing will ever happen with them in the future and that she wants to be with me. I get angry with her because when I caught her lying and provided her with the evidence, she still denied it and looked foolish. No I am not monitoring every move she makes. But, I do feel uneasy sometimes because of all the lies and misrepresentations. I have always stated to her that I do not mind her talking or seeing her ex. Just do not lie about it especially when you are borrowing my vehicle. All of the problems we are now having is because she has lied. Plain and simple. Why would she want to lie if she is not doing anything wrong or trying to hide something?

I am currently in a newer relationship of 4 months. My question has to do with my current girlfriends Ex. : They have a 2 month old son together, and they separated during her pregnancy (went out for 2 years) because the guy is not going anywhere in life. When their son was born, he stayed in Vegas and did not return until a week or so after his birth. He was also arrested and put into jail during this time for a month due to probation violations. Since he has gotten out of jail (January), he and my GF have been speaking to each other several times per day. He claims he wants to be in their son’s life, and has even watched him overnight a total of 3 nights. He and I do not get along with each other at all, and it is beginning to wear down my GF. She told me we both trash each other and she is getting really stressed out over it. She told me he is going to be in her life regardless if we get along or not because she wants him to bond with her son and assume the responsibilities of being a parent. This is where my major problem comes in. She has lied several times over the past month regarding the Ex. : 1. Said that she was not with him at all during the day a medical checkup with her son. She said he was not going, but I found out she went and picked him up prior to the appointment. I found this out because I found a yahoo map with his address and directions to the clinic left in the truck. I called her sister and she confirmed he was with her. 2. Said she needed a break from the baby and went over to her sisters house for a few hours. I found out that her sister was not home at the time, and that my GF went over to the Ex’s house instead. Again, I contacted her sister and asked a question and she was surprised when I told her that she was supposed to be over there a few hours earlier. My GF finally confessed and stated that she went over to the Ex’s so he could visit and watch him while she took a break/nap when I questioned her because said she drove over to her sisters and she was not home and went over there instead. 3. There have been a few other times she stopped over their without telling me. She was late a few times and I was aggravated and asked why she was late with my truck. She finally admitted she was visiting him briefly and did not tell me until she left there. This has happened a few times. 4. Lastly, I have known that she talks to him on the phone several times per day. I questioned her about this and told her I do not like her talking to him so much. She told me she would not contact him but rather talk to him when he calls her. The phone bill came and she lied again because it showed she called him an average of 3-5 times per day since she said she would mellow out. This pushed me over the edge and I began to question her relationship with him and faithfulness to me. I demanded answers and she said she was lying to me because she knew how much we disliked each other and did not want to make things worse etc. Now here is the real problem. She told me that she wants to go with her Ex and his brother with his new baby out of town so she could see her grandson’s for the first time. My GF wants to go and said she does not trust her son with him alone for 3 days and wanted to meet his mom anyway because she has been sending cash and other care packages since his birth. Needless to say, this question did not go over well with me, and we have been fighting for a week straight. She said I have nothing to worry about because she is with me and they will never get back together. She said I need to trust her, but I am having a really hard time doing it. We were fighting so bad during this time I thought about breaking up with her. She said she would not go if it would bring an end to our relationship. I finally got so tired of fighting I said go ahead and go. She decided that morning she was going on the trip and again asked if it was OK with me. I gritted my teeth and told her she has free will and can do what she wants. I regret telling her this because it is really tearing me up inside. I have a feeling deep down inside that she is trying to revive things with him and cheating on me or maybe it is just jealousy or paranoia. I have been beating myself up all day and might break up with her when she comes back into town. When I found out she lied to me on several occasions, my trust diminished and now I seem to internally question her every move and motive. I find this whole trip to be extremely insulting to me and well…..fishy. Am I am over-reacting and not really believing her intentions of trying to establish a schedule and routine with him to care for their son. Could she think I am so gullible that she can cheat on me under my nose???? She said the purpose of the trip was to meet his mom, and they would double team him regarding his lack of commitment to the baby. I really need some input here because I do not want to destroy this without just cause. I have asked several people and most have sided with me saying she is cheating, while a few others think that her intentions true to establishing a positive relationship with their baby.

I guess I could add a little bit more detail too. I tried to keep it as brief as possible. Alot of the times when she called me, she was crying. Most recently, she told me "why is it you are the only one I can turn to", "why are you the only one who will listen to me" etc. She mentioned that she was lonely and had no friends etc. Sounds like she has a real good relationship with the new BF. I still believe that deep down in my heart we will get back together one day. Maybe it is just hope, but we were very compatible with one another and really had that mental connection. Thats why I don't quite understand how she could have just given up on our relationship. We were not that far apart where distance was too great to overcome. She moved only a 5 hour drive away or a 45 minute plane trip. It just doesn't make sense how one day she misses me and speaks to me and then the next day she will ignore me and turn completely cold.

Hi. First time poster and long time lurker. I'm going to give you a very brief synapsis of my relationship and would like to get other readers responses. During the last 6 months of us being together (1 1/2 yrs), we had to do the LDR thing as it was out of our hands. During that 6 months we only physically saw each other for 3 days total. The Ex ended up moving closer to me, but still in another state. She would typically text message me and tell me how it sucked that we were always apart. However, we were only about a 5-6 hour drive away when she moved closer and she seemed to be pushing me away. I found out she started drinking heavily and stopped taking meds for her Bipolar condition. Needless to say, she changed as a person. I found out she had a new boyfriend soon after she moved there. I was really hurt at hearing this, and then I find out she moved in with him after only dating for 3 months. Found out her relative had to leave town and she did not want to go back East to live so she moved in with him. We started talking regularly again about 2 months ago. I was involved in a very bad accident, and was hospitalized and in a coma. My sister text messaged everybody in my phone to inform them of my status and the Ex's number was still in there. When I came to she was one of the first people to call me. Previous to that we had not had any real contact for about 5 months. That night we talked for nearly 4 hours and she told me that she loves me and has been crying all the time knowing that I could have died. She apologized for being cold towards me etc. We have been communicating almost daily since until about 2 weeks ago. She started ignoring me once again and sent me a disturbing text message. Prior to her last text, I sent her a picture of myself and some friends tailgating at a Football game. She called twice that week but I did not answer because I was busy. That was the last time she tried to call me until yesterday. I told her I was going to be in her town to watch a football game with friends and I asked her if we could have lunch or something. She sent me back a text message said: I have a boyfriend, and he knows about or past. I want to keep it that way. I sent her one asking her what that meant and the last text said: Things have changed and we've moved on. Do you think she felt guilty and contacted me to clear her conscience once she found out about my accident? Her boyfriend was not at all happy about her talking to me. Do you think he told her not to speak to me anymore or it was over? Could it be another cycle in the bipolar going from depressed to manic? Now that she is out of the depression mode and in manic mode she does not "need me and miss me" She always used to say that she never had anyone treat her like I did and sometimes I think her feelings for me would scare her. She often told me this when I asked why she was pushing me away. I often heard statements like "what do you see in me" " I don't deserve you" etc. Don't know what to think. Maybe they were going through tough times together and she was using me as a safety net. When things got better between them she didn't need my anymore. She never did talk about their relationship with me.