LLPotter

Hi annie24 We have been together for almost a year and I visited him in his country in August and everything went so well.... I don't know why suddenly there is such a dramatic change. I told him about my concerns on Thursday night. He said nothing has been changed and he still treats me as his girl. I asked if he is seeing someone else and he said no. Well, somehow I have already done my job of initiating the questions and letting him know about my concern. I don't know what more I can do.

Thank you for all your replies. Yes, I find it strange too and I also find that he is keeping a distance from me. And you are right, looks like I am investing much more than him in this relationship. And it puzzles me when he lied to me about his arrival and hide from me where he stays. For the past few days whenever I am alone, I cried. Perhaps you are right, I should stop initiating things and let him make the move - although it is very difficult.

My bf is here for a business trip. He was supposed to fly here on Sunday (that's what he told me) and arrive on Monday. However, somehow I have this 6th sense that he is flying here on Saturday. Well, since he has already told me about the flight on Sunday, I didn't ask much. I was thinking to give him a call when is was in the airport - before he fly off. We chatted on Saturday as well. Sunday comes. I called and text him several times but to no avail. Finally, he sent me a text saying just asking what I have been doing duing the weekend and he was chilling watching TV. I text him back asking if he was ready for his trip later. But no reply. I called him in the middle of the night (which should be his time of being in the airport). He picked up the call. The background was so quiet and immediately I know that my 6th sense is correct. He said, he was in bed... i.e. he is already here. I freak out because he lied to me. He said he changed his flight schedule so last minute and he got to rush and no time to tell anyone about that. he said no one knows his early arrival as he didn't want to create a fuss that people might want to meet him late at night as he is tired. I was mad because he didn't even initiate to tell me he IS ALREADY here in his text message to me. We had a fight on the phone. Soon after we put down the phone. He text me to apologise. However, I was still mad and I text him back saying that I don't feel being respected as his girl. However, I miss him so much so I text him the next day. But he didn't reply. I tried to call him but he didn't pick up the phone. I start to get worried so I called the hotel. I don't know his room number so I just provided the hotel with his name. To my horror, the hotel people say there is no such guest. I was mad.. again. I sent a text and left voice message to him asking where does he stay. But he didn't return my call till the next morning. I asked him why he lied to me. Instead he said I have been weird and freaky. He refused to tell me where he stay. I was so upset. I was so disappointed. I like him so much and I have been longing to see him here. But he didn't even want to let me know his arrival. I was mad. Really. That evening, I called him and he said indeed he is staying in that hotel but was booked under another person's name. But he didn't let me know his room number. Finally I got to see him on Thursday night. It was, with the whole group of people. I told him I would send him back after the dinner. But instead, he went off with other people. I was so upset and I went up to him and asked him to follow my car. Finally we had a chance to talk. We stopped at a carpark (not where he stay) and talked. He assured me that he likes me and he miss me. But he need space to get used to the new environment (as he will be here for 4 weeks) and he has been tired after work. He kissed me and said he will definitely have a good time with me after he has settled down. Can I trust him on that? After the long talk, that was past midnight and he looked so tired and kept yawning. I said I will send him back to his "hotel" but he said he want to drop somewhere else to have a drink before going back. In conclusion, I still have no clue on where he is staying. I am not sure about guys. But if I miss that person, I would definitely want to see him... no matter how tired I am. If he really miss me... shouldn't him be longing to see me? I have read other threads. Perhaps I should back off a bit and let him realise that I am not a stalker as he thought? But I find it difficult as I really miss him a lot... and he is only here for 4 weeks - with 1 week has already gone.

Hi audrey Don't be sad... If I were you, I would choose the simplest way - to believe him. I have the bad habit of imagining bad things too. But somehow this would led to arguments and the worst he would think that you don't place trust on him. That would sour the relationship between you.

Ya... I know exactly how you feel. My bf always "ignore" my calls. When I ask him why he would say he was sleeping or low battery or the phone was not with him. Sometimes I could call up to 10-15 times... And then starting wondering if he is trying to ignore me or going out with someone. I have to admit that I am too scared to lose him - just disappear from my life one day.

I think if you really want to be together with him, you would take whatever risk that could be posibly involved.

I think it only works when both parties are having the same goal - to make the relationship work. Committment is important as this gives each other the comfort level to get things work & continue.

Thanks for your comments everyone. Do you think I should confront him (for the last time) before I make any decision?

2 months ago

When I visited him I stayed in his place and we were like normal couples. We go out together, watch TV together and he cooked for me. I didn't talk to him on my concerns face to face as I am scared that could ruin the happy moment that we were having.

Because I like him a lot. The time that we spent together was really great and I felt beloved.

hiya blush.. well at least ur bf would say "i love u" back to u. i'm in a long distance relationship, too. i miss my bf badly and i would tell him "i miss u" and "i love u". but he never says that back to me, instead he would just laugh it off. and he never initiates to say that too. u r a lucky girl. at least luckier than me

I must start off saying that my relationship with my bf is kinda weird. Our relationship is kind of underground as we are colleagues and don't want other people know about it. We do not live in the same country so we use email, online messaging and phone calls to communicate. It has been almost a year since our relationship started. I like him a lot. I have made several trips to his country to visit him. Those times that we spent together were really great and each time after I came back, I miss him more and more. However, there is this problem. He tends to avoid giving solid answers and any form of committment. I asked if he likes me, he just laughed off. I asked if he is going to come to my country to visit me. He avoided to give an answer. I have done a lot of things for him. I stay awake late at night just to wait for him to online, to have a chat. I leave the computer on and I could wake up in the middle of the night when I hear his online alert. However, out of 10 times when I call him, 8 times would be directed to the voicemail or cannot get through. He would give reasons like battery low or the phone is not with him. When I asked him too much, he would say I am pressuring him. It was my birthday. I asked him to call me. He didn't do it and the reason was he was tired. However, how much energy do you need to call someone just to say "Happy Birthday"? I really don't know where do I stand in this relationship. I really don't know what I should do. I tried my very best to be a responsible gf. I do whatever he told me to do. I just want him to be happy. But as a woman, I would want my man to at least, say some kind and sweet things to me. He has never say "I love you" to me. When I said that to him. He laughed it off. I send text to him almost everyday. Previously he would reply to my text and say something sweet to me. But nowadays, he would just leave it without a reply. Sometimes I wonder, am I being used?