tommyP

Hi everybody, I have a bit of a problem and was wondering if I could get an outside opinion on the subject, maybe give me a new perspective. Basically I broke up with my girlfriend a little over a week ago, we both decided that it was not working and we parted ways. We had no argument and we still talk occasionally, there is no bad feeling between us. However after about 4 days it started to dawn on me that I did really like this girl, we had been dating three months, but had grown apart due to the distance over the last month or so. This feeling grew and grew and I decided I wanted her back, we started chatting, now and then, and one night had a big discussion about what was wrong and missing from our relationship, something we had never really done before. It felt great to have it all out in the open, I apologised to her for not making as much effort as I should and she thanked me for being mature about the situation. So 2 days ago I asked her for a second chance, to make things right as I really feel, and want this to work, and I know it can. She said that I could give her what she wanted and I did deserve a second chance and on any other occasion she would have said yes, but she has been talking to her friend Richard from home a lot since we broke up. They both have a lot of history together, and she has rejected him multiple times in the past, but now she believes they will be together and that he will make her happy. So I resigned myself to this fact, accepted that my chance was over and said I would say no more. However last night I was up into the early hours thinking, I want this girl back, more than anything I have ever wanted, and I have 2 options, either I back down, and respect her decision, which is what my nature tells me to do – I am not a very confrontational person. But on the other hand I think, If i like her that much then I should fight for it, let her see. She may like Richard now, but is that just a rebound from me? Is he the easy option? Surely if she had seen a future for then she would not have rejected him on so many occasions before. So I tell myself to fight for her, show her, what she means to me. Deep down I want her back, that I know for sure, and realistically I do not believe that she wants Richard. But I am torn as to whether to respect her decision and resign myself its over, or to fight and try to make her see how much I want her, I have no idea which is the right one to choose, please could someone give me a new perspective on this!

Hi, I have a problem and was hoping for an impartial view from someone who probably has a better idea about things that I do, which is not hard. Basically I am a 20 year old guy who is a student a Brighton university. I'm in my second year and I share a house with 5 of my friends, one other guy and four girls, which is where the problem begins. To start from the beginning, when I moved into halls there were quite a few of us living together and a small group of us instantly bonded, but there was a girl who lived with us, Lucy, who was rarely there and know one really new her. Anyway one night we went out for a drink and Lucy came with us, I chatted to her a bit and found out she was actually pretty cool and we had an awful lot in common, so from then on I made a point of getting to know her better. Over the course of the year we became great friends, hanging around together quite a lot and eventually sharing the same friendship group. At first I didn't really feel anything for her but the more I spoke to her the more I liked her and the more difficult it got for me to be around her without thinking about her as more than a friend. Anyway I never said anything to her, I'm way too shy for that and I wouldn't want it to be awkward, we now live together and were still great friends but I cannot escape what I feel for her. I have never met anyone like her before and every time I talk to her I like her a little bit more, even when I thought I couldn't. She makes me smile like no-one else ever has and she is so much fun to be around. I really want to tell her how I feel but I really don't know how she would take it. Although were both good friends we come from very different upbringings and in many ways she is "out of my league" so to speak. Part of me wants to tell her how I feel but I don't want to ruin our friendship and I wouldn't want it to be weird us living together for the next two years. The other part of me knows that even if by some miracle she did want something more than a friendship we couldn't as it would not work with our living situation, and would more than likely end in tragedy with the other flatmates. I have tried forgetting about it, tried putting her to the back of my mind but as soon as I think I have I walk downstairs and she's there smiling at me. Every time I think I'm over her we will sit up all night chatting and then the feelings come straight back. The ideal situation would be not to live together but then we would never see one another, she's hardly about as it is as she works so much. Its getting to the point now when I'm really fed up, I really like her but part of me knows I shouldn't and part of me likes it whilst the other part wishes I had never met her. She broke up with her boyfriend about two months ago and I know she's fed up with being on her own and is looking for a man, its really hard watching her go on dates, sometimes I wish it was me. I'm sorry that this is really long and a bit pathetic but I'm really stumped, she confuses me to much, I think that I'm reading way to much into nothing and just wanted another viewpoint, I always think to myself that ill tell her when we leave uni, but I fear that that may be to late and I really don't want to regret not telling her, please help me

hey, i have this problem and though u lot may b able to give me a little of your advice. well, i have this friend called laura, we go to college together and have known each other for about 3 months now. we get along really well (so i thought) and i enjoy being with her as she is a really nice person to be around. we txt each other now and then and speak regulary and she is always very friendly. anyway, she has a boyfriend who she has been with for some time now (i have never met him or even spoken to him) and last night i get a text message from him telling me to stop texting laura and not to talk to her as it really pisses him off. i wanna know if u think hes just jelous of me (god knows why) or if she is just 2 faced and really doesnt like me at all, but is to scared to say anything so she gets her boyfriend to do it for her?? any ideas??? thanks for any help its greatly apreciated