JJRadical

Well starting a thread here was a good start...and ya know those blogs have site meters that can track who visited right down to the lagitude and longitude of where your sitting...

I got about 20 cases of m-80's and hopefully NYC will return to the good ole days of Mayor Dinkins this weekend...

Some guys can be pretty crazy nostaligic...I still have my 1989 Bobby Meachum Yankee baseball card in my t-shirt drawer...and since your not his gf hwats it to you?

Well the only problem is CSI is a rerun tonight...

i think self-love and self confidence are related but different...Dako's advice is good for self-love, i would add humility...self confidence comes from setting and achieving goals/learning new/enchancing existing skills...who are you Chigal28?

Of course you don't want to replace boredom...with drama...

Yea this issue isn't with the ex, its with your boyfriend...I find it bizzarre that he is still friends with her...

Way I look at it, you wouldn't believe a drunk person who told you they were capable of driving or who told you they walk on the edge of the roof a building without falling off, who told you they were fine to cook themselves some food, or who told you they could fly. Drunk people have been known to do all these things...fully believing they could at the time, when it was clear to any sober observer that they were not capable of doing any of those things. Why would you believe anything they said while under the influence?

 

Friends don't let friends drive drunk. They shouldn't let friends dial drunk, either.

This has to be some of the most ill conceived logic I've ever seen...

Alas...at least the Eifel Tower still stands...what do you need help with sounds like everything is well in hand hmmm?

...Yes....should he graffetti it on Mt.Rushmore to make it clearer?...

move on and don't front...you went out a month she left for 6 and you kept hope alive this whole time...she's not going to respect that dude...you gotta get some life of your own going before a round-the-world girl is going to notice you...but don't beat yourself up to bad...we've all been there...

...in other matters i like the title "Desolate." Sounds like a good short story. You should write about this...

This weekend is July 4th and i think America should invade Canada and do away with Canada Day.

Yea don't beat yourself up over it...your just like every other guy who needs to learn how to communicate with women...

Well then perhaps you need to study Brazilian JuJitsu....she's dangerous...full of unnecessary drama...ever see those personals where the girl says "catch me if you can." No thanks...i enjoy my sanity...and not feelilng like i've run a marathon after just talking to you...

Sorry if i joked about the time frame...I now feel guilty after you changed your original post...

Here it is kid...no classes, NO CONTACT...and no he doesn't have feelings for you.

1)These feelings of clingyness/not coping will get better with NO CONTACT...just like a drug addiction its hard and there will be hard moments but as one day turns into 2 you will find yourself becoming stronger...

2)Promising marriage at 15? Come on Cherry slo your roll...

3)Avoid him...don't act "anyway" when you see him...guys hate clingy girls...give a nod hello and be on your way...

4)May i suggest counseling at your current Campus, which most provide free...time to start exploring WHY? This is a life long process but you are now ready to enter this phase and start the journey to greatness...or you can continue self destructing...perhaps not at bottom yet...

5)Follow steps 1-4, get a life going on of your own, and maybe some day in the future things will work out for you and him...but once you become strong the tendency is that whole new worlds open up and you'll be telling your friends, "can you believe i was freaking out over HIM?."

Unfortunately thats most guys. I don't do it cause its not really what i'm about but my friend not only stares at women on the street but its like that thousand yard stare leer(i actually have yelled at him cause i find it embarrassing, like you've never seen an attractive woman before?)...you know what that says...its says " I got no shot with you so i might as well stare to get a pic in my mind for later..." anyway thats my "guy" perspective on staring...as for you...I'll tell you what it is...its a lack of respect for you...and he's into porn...somehting tells me he isn't too private about letting you know this...at the very least its insensitive...

"You are going to respect me and if you don't show me respect, I'm going to take it," Ken Shamrock, MMA Legend

Not to sound like Dr.Phil but "YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU."

Trouble follows you around cause you communicatively are a trouble magnet...

You have made some great first steps by seeking to improve yourself...it takes time for things to work out and figure * * * * out and the trick for most guys is surviving these intense emotional moments that come along the way...

...get back in school...a community college or some GED program and then start building a career, a car, your phsysique, study Russian Sambo...something...get some game kid...nobodies born with it...just start small...

Find a Goal...you'll still have down moments but they will become balanced out...your lack of self confidence is going to make you a target for violence cause to compensate for it you probably do stupid things that antagonize people to show you have confidence...

39 months? That sounds like a prison term more than a relationship...how about 3 years+...

.....yes.....

how can i avoid this or how to at least make her allow some kind of sex??!!!

Avoid this one Nunka. You can't "make" anyone do anything.

Your choices are...

a)stay with her and be miserable and attempt to jerkoff 10 times a day.

b)ditch her ...wait until your married?! your only 20 and your loosing your mind now...you don't happen to live in Utah per chance (just joking!).

c)cheat and use the time tested excuse every guy uses, YOU DROVE ME TO IT!

d)break her defenses down gradually by stop being a human hormone and putting NO PRESSURE on her at all...and reversing things...step d takes some sophistication which i doubt you currrently have the capacity for...

Here's the situation. Mary is my co-worker. We used to sit right next to eachother but she moved depts and is now on a different floor, so I hardly see her at all.

Best thing that could've happened. Absense makes the heart grow fond..every day is so cliche', boring (see that boring thread), and vulgar.

Last Wednesday I took her out to lunch to thank her, first time we've hung out, just the two of us. Great conversation, laughing, getting to know eachother type of stuff. We talked about doing things together, like surfing, when she gets her new board, and going out to eat more often. Thats when she brought up this restaurant close to her apt that she wanted to try out.

Well, I could have hugged her, that woulda been cool, but didn't.

It wouldn't have been cool and you would've been friend zoned for life...if she gets into a car accident and is ok give her a hug... save that, until you are out of the friendzone no hugs! Although i can't think of many things worse than a high-five...

I play it cool and just ask how is it dating a younger guy, and she mentions the maturity isnt there. I then change topics. I DO NOT want to be her guy "friendzone" girlfriend...

...now your thinking Nunka...

Is it too late for me to get romantic with her? We sorta make plans to go out again to another restaurant in downtown. I mean its there, if I ask her, she'll go, but how should I proceed?

Its not too late. But you need to rezero a bit and start redefining the game a bit...

So I don't want it to be awkward for her.

...quit talking yourself out of it...cause you got the same friends its going to be awkward? Those mutual friends are going to be jealous or rooting against you or gossiping like the 6oclock news. Concern yourself not what others think or what you might think she might think what others think (see how ridiculous your getting?)

On the other I want to date her and let her know I'm interested and find out where she's at, before she gets too serious w/this young dude (no offense to young dudes).

...women will tolerate alot of things but immaturity? I highly doubt he's got any chance and she's hanging with him cause she is bored and all the mature guys are too busy doubting themselves...something better comes along she's there...worst thing you can do is "find out where she's at."...your not stressed at all by this dude...on the contrary its quite amusing...he is actually helping you...

Its hard to go from friend to lover cause she knows what to expect from you already...the spell is broken...for initial attraction there needs to be alittle tension or excitment or mystery or something...predictability is an attraction killer when friendzoned...

Here would be my plan...its not for everybody and the "just be yourself and talk to her types" will disagree but...

1)step back in terms of consistency...stop calling her, she calls you tell her you'll call her right back and then don't or skip a call or two of hers, and then say you forgot if she asks.

2)start crossing lines...this step requires alittle tact or it will be obvious..teasing her about things you guys share of eachother, being playful with communicating with her, don't worry about offending her and if you do well then the better, stirred emotions translate well to attraction...just don't send the "weird" vibe by fronting...be very loose and relaxed when around her...no expectations...your there to try the food not be up in her grill...don't get all nuts about time, logisitics, and planning of these get togethers...going surfing with her would be good too...

3)Add alchohol to the equation of one your hang outs

Conversation is free. And very under-rated (and under-used!)

This is correct. All paid experiences are Disneyland.

I had to drop one of my friends not because he's a bad guy but he's got nothing to say. He talks about sports and all the cliche's but thats its...I rather ride alone than hang with someone boring...boring people have a tendency to suck you down to their level...

Hairstylists tend to bond with their clients but overall...you messed up...

A girl i have recently been having sex with

Quite an intro...

I jokingly say that she owes me a favor, implying I want sex.

...pressuring her you mean...

I feel mad because she made it seem like I should have known what to do, but because I didn't just pick her up and throw her in my bed, she made me feel like an idiot, whether intentional or not.

...You are a victim lol...

Why do girls think its alright to behave in a "no means yes" manner?

To set up guys like you for the next time so now when you "go for it" she can throw the "R" word around and get vengenance on guys who use her for sex but don't respect her at all.

He's probably not such a bad guy...some guys are lazy mooches and can't say no to someone paying their way...at some point he probably meant those things he said...but for a relationship to be healthy powers must be balanced or at least understood including fiances...EVERY GUY that is being fronted by his GF KNOWS that WHATEVER it is he is working on, once it works out he's moving on to bigger and better things...its the nature of this type of relationship...truth be known he owes you nothing...like Mills Lane says,"protect yourself at all times." Be glad he didn't run up your credit cards and take your id and do all sorts of other devious things...

Men too. Not only boredom: but men 'in over their heads' or feeling trapped.

Countless times, those guys with a beautiful gf or wife, maybe a kid, and you can just see that dulled 'beaten' look in their eyes. So eager for some kind or friendly female attention. Hanging off a smile like a puppy.

 

Yes, life needs flavor and unpredictability to get those hormones going...

or else cliche sad dramas unfold.

Yes this is true...of course the cure for boredom is...interest....