someone_else
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To be honest, if you really love her your heart is going to do the thinking for you. I hope she is capable of more for your sake. Good luck, but if in a couple months you are still questioning, I would seriously consider cutting your losses.
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If you don't feel as if she's ever going to care for you the way you care for her, GET OUT NOW!! Coming from my own personal experience, you will only end up like a puppy following her around waiting for the tiniest bit of affection... Not only will it hurt your feelings, but it will damage your self esteem even more (wondering what's wrong with you, why did she do this or that)..that kind of thing. They say the beginning is supposed to be the euphoria, right? If this is your beginnig, do you really want to stick around and see the middle, and inevitably, the end?
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How do you know when it's time to leave?
someone_else replied to someone_else's topic in Relationship Advice
Well, for more details...I want to leave because I don't think he's ever been in love with me. He says he is, but I guess I just can't feel it. He SAYS all kinds of things, but his eyes say nothing, his actions are non-existant. I hope that doesn't sound crazy, but has anyone ever told you that you're everthing to them just by the way they look at you? When we fight, he goes to bed, while I stay up and cry because he doesn't care enough to come out and hold me.....am I just asking for too much? I don't know, I'm very confused. I've been in limbo most of the three years we've been together, more so since I moved in. I guess I just keep hoping he'll fall in love with me one day... -
I have been thinking about leaving my boyfriend for a long time now, sometimes I want to try and sometimes I don't. Lately I want to leave more and more. There's no abuse or anything like that, so how do you know when it's past salvaging?
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Thanks for sharing. my biggest problem with this is that it wasn't a mutual decision, it has really devastated my ego, especially when there is still no passion with him. Also, during that time I have recently found out that he was registered to numerous dating sites(some were actually paid for monthly). I feel as if he were looking for someone else and didn't find it. Then finally settled for me after exhausting all other possibilities. Like I said, he's 28. Do you think it's possible that our relationship is a product of timing? Maybe he was ready to settle down and I happened to stick around?
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I have recently sat down to discuss this with him, even stayed at my mother's for a night. He tells me that he is trying get rid of his debt especially with a house payment now, and that then he can work less and have more energy. The thing is, he worked just as many hours before the house. I work as well, but I refuse to live to work.....I'd rather work to live. He doesn't seem to grasp that. It feels like his job is his life...and I am the bonus at the end of the day.
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I am extemely bored!! I live with my boyfriend who works a lot of hours, so he never wants to do anything. I feel bad because I know he's worn out, but all I want is a night a week where he can compromise with me like I do with him the rest of the week. Is it normal to be so bored you lie awake at night praying for sleep just to escape the boredom and lonliness?
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You should listen to yourself... you said he always makes you feel worthless. That should be a red flag right there. You cry because he makes you feel worthless, not because you're crazy!!! I bet he tells you when you try to bring up a problem that you ARE crazy. Well, from experience, if you have a problem, the relationship has a problem. If you really love him, you have to make him understand that, but it seems to me more that he makes you feel like crap and you're too afraid to move on...or see him move on for that matter. Not every man in the world would make you feel bad about yourself, which means he is definitely not the best man for you!!!!!
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He says he is....I know that's a horrible answer, but has someone ever told you something like that, but you can't FEEL it?
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Well, we bought a house in July, so..pretty serious. He's not a religious person by any means, he's not abstinate-we DO have sex now, just seems more like a chore to be completed.We've both been tested and clean, it just seems as though the lust is not there for him, which in turn makes me not want to look at him let alone touch him....thanks for trying to help though
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I have asked about it, and age was never an issue according to him...any other ideas?
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I understand the age difference and took it into full consideration. Point being even after I turned 18, for instance, we had gotten a hotel room for his friend's wedding. We began to fool around, then he stopped me and said he wasn't "prepared". you don't find that odd? My relationship before him was also with an older man, although it may not have been right, Ifelt alive and appreciated, and loved.
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My current boyfriend refused to have sex with me for the first year and a half. He is 28 and has had relationships in the past so he's no virgin. Three years later it still weighs on me mainly because even now there is no passion, never really has been. He says he loves me and tells me he thinks I'm great in bed-beautiful- you know the drill. But when it comes down to it, half the time he denies me. We'll go for days without so much as a kiss. My last boyfriend adored me-physically and emotionally, Ifelt like a godess....now I don't have more than a shred or two of self esteem left.....I'm constantly wondering what's wrong with me. Can anyone else relate to that?!!