madtolove

Hi DN Thanks for the reply. I am too scared to bring up the subject about us. Think she would just say oh I though we where just friends or something. This has happen before but ended in us not talking. This time doesnt seem a bit different. I did text her last night I had got her some more revision stuff and maybe just used that as an excuse to contact her. Anyway she was baby sitting and she invited me down. I went and we got along great. We waited for her uncle to come back and I gave her a lift back. When I got in she texted me saying thanks for the help and we just sent each other a couple of texts back. Just fun ones nothing with real meaning. We have been met up a few times over the last week which has been nice even though its only been about work. What should my next move be.

Hi there I post this in the wrong forum I think but could use some major help with this. Hi there Ive been on this forum for w hile and has really help me. I have posted my story before. Very very brief split with ex 2 months. She dumped me and has had problems with ex's in her past and loads of other stuff. We have this cycle of being nice then trying to find something to argue over and then after a week or so we slowly start talking again. This has happen about 3 times over the past 2 months. Just want some thoughs. I took back birthday gifts from my ex. She got me too go out with her on her birthday and it was very weird. I know I should not of went and I got a bit drunk made a fool of myself telling my ex I still loved her etc. It was a really strange night and I do regret going out. Anyway the next day we didnt speak I felt really bad. I texted saying sorry and she was just angry with me. We spoke and again we ended up having a bit of a argument. So the next 3 weeks we dont speak outside or inside of work (yes we work with each which is hard in itself). We start talking again. Just small talk hi's and hello's thats it. No contact outside of work. I go out the following Sunday with work friends and my ex comes out. Another girl in work invited her so I could do anything to stop her and i did want to seem like the bad guy. The night went great and her ex best friend and her nave fallen out. I was friendly with her and we have always been mates. We have been talking alot and she has been texting me alot. She came as well on this night out and I bought her a few drinks along with me ex and other. Nothing funny about that is there I though but my ex makes a comment to another work friend saying YES HE WAS GIVING HER HIS MONEY. Things have been alot better in work. My ex was calling me about stupid work stuff. It was things like do you know your shift has been changed. Iam a manager and she has nothing to do with my shift changes I always get told before my boss or another manager. Also she called about another workers shift kwoning I could do nothings to change it. So my ex's calls again about work and her number is with held. Bit of small talk and she gets me to call her back and gives her new number to me. This shocked me as I though I was the last person she would want to have it. Also she has 1 or 2 extra night shifts with me being on. I am moving store at the end of week which she knows about. Ive stopped chasing and dont call or text only whenshe calls and I am polite back and when she has called a few times I have just said sorry I am just on my way out. Ive also dropped off me ex after work and we have a had a bit of a drive and just listened to some music with very little talk and not about us or the problems we had. We went to a beach and sat there for about 1 hour just watching the waves and didnt talk. Now Iam a bit confused. Also I want to give her the birthday gifts back as this was stupid asking for them back because I though she wanted me back on her birthday. My head does seem clear, I have not been texting or calling for about 3 weeks. This happen last night; My ex is getting a promotion at work and need to do some revision for her exam. She has been calling and texting me to help her. Now I know she has all the stuff she needs to pass it. She calls last night saying nobody is helping her and her exam is on Monday. I didnt getting back to her, said I was busy. She starts getting funny about it and start texting me more. At one point she was saying I am not talking to her no more. Though she just wanted help with her revision. So I do meet her and we do abit of revision. Then she wants to which a movie which we did. Again just very little small talk. Also seemed a bit upset, I asked but she said she was ok. But I knew something was up. Anyway the night ended ok and I just said goodbye adn dropped her home. So what do you guys think. Whats really going on in her mind. Why keep contacting me and then coming to my house when she split up with me. She did seem different last night, she was very quiet and seem unhappy. Thanks Guys

Many thanks guys. Yea its been very confusing during the last 2 months. Working with her aswell has been one of the hardest things I have had to do. Its seems that when a few people from work are doing stuff and I go she has to go. I think she think's she will be missing out or just checking what I am doing. Ive really tried NC but its difficult because if I dont answer etc she questions me in work the following day or so. I really do care about her but this going around in circles doesnt help me or her. When there doing stuff like that what are they up too. Many

Hi there Ive been on this forum for w hile and has really help me. I have posted my story before. Very very brief split with ex 2 months. She dumped me and has had problems with ex's in her past and loads of other stuff. We have this cycle of being nice then trying to find something to argue over and then after a week or so we slowly start talking again. This has happen about 3 times over the past 2 months. Just want some thoughs. I took back birthday gifts from my ex. She got me too go out with her on her birthday and it was very weird. I know I should not of went and I got a bit drunk made a fool of myself telling my ex I still loved her etc. It was a really strange night and I do regret going out. Anyway the next day we didnt speak I felt really bad. I texted saying sorry and she was just angry with me. We spoke and again we ended up having a bit of a argument. So the next 3 weeks we dont speak outside or inside of work (yes we work with each which is hard in itself). We start talking again. Just small talk hi's and hello's thats it. No contact outside of work. I go out the following Sunday with work friends and my ex comes out. Another girl in work invited her so I could do anything to stop her and i did want to seem like the bad guy. The night went great and her ex best friend and her nave fallen out. I was friendly with her and we have always been mates. We have been talking alot and she has been texting me alot. She came as well on this night out and I bought her a few drinks along with me ex and other. Nothing funny about that is there I though but my ex makes a comment to another work friend saying YES HE WAS GIVING HER HIS MONEY. T heres been a bit of talk about us going out which is crap. Things did get a bit better after we went out in work. My ex was calling me about stupid work stuff. It was things like do you know your shift has been changed. Iam a manager and she has nothing to do with my shift changes I always get told before my boss or another manager. Also she called about another workers shift kwoning I could do nothings to change it. So my ex's calls again about work and her number is with held. Bit of small talk and she gets me to call her back and gives her new number to me. This shocked me as I though I was the last person she would want to have it. Also she has 1 or 2 extra night shifts with me being on. I am moving stoe at the end of week which she knows about. Ive stopped chasing and dont call or etxt only when is calls and I am polite back and when she has called a few times I have just said sorry I am just on my way out. Ive also dropped off me ex after work and we have a had a bit of a drive and just listened to some music with very little talk and not about us or the problems we had. We went to a beach and sat there for about 1 hour just watching the waves and didnt talk. Now Iam a bit confused. Also I want to give her the birthday gifts back as this was stupid asking for them back because I though she wanted me back on her birthday. My head does seem clear, I have not been texting or calling for about 3 weeks. So what do you guys think. I know she would want them back. I feel stupid for getting them back.

I know your hurting babe. I had my ex did this too me, she got with somebody after 3 days and yes it hurt like hell when she was rubbing it in my face. She split with me about 2 months ago. She had problems and was messed up. If you call or contact him YOU ARE GIVING HIM the power over you. My ex lasted 3 days with this guy so I expect your ex to last the same, maybe longer. This is a rebound or I think he is playing games. You are better than that! This shows the amount of respect he had for you. When they split up and go all nasty it is because they feel bad and want to blame you for the split. Do not beg, cry and call. If he calls just say you have too go and or do NC. They always call to see if they have still that power over you. You need to be very strong and as I said I know its hurting ive been there and still feel hurt. But use this forum and we will help as much as possible.

Iam sorry to hear this friend, you sure your not me. Ive had to move stores at my work because of ex, and this has also put a promotion I was due to get back a while. I know what its like, you give it everything and they throw it back. I took my birthday gifts back off me ex because it was her birthday, and guess what she only wanted to meet me up because nobody else would. I mean where was her new b/f she told me about. Even her friends dont want to know. But stupid ar~s her went and got her an exspensive watch and bag but I got them back after we had a massive argument. Dont know if this was petty but she didnt deserve them. Any gift you give them will just say you are thinking about them and give them the power. I have not spent a penny more and have been buying new clothes and working out. I am going to get out there for me and not her. You do the same. I will take these steps with you!

Yea I have had to face facts this week about my ex, again she had issues with ex boy friends treating her bad. When we did argue the other week, things came out, not sure if she was just saying it to make me feel bad because I was having a go at her for treating me like dirt. I made it clear to her that she cant and wont treat me like this no more. So i am in the same boat as you. Dont get me wrong I am sure like me that you really wanted to care and love your ex but I think if they dont want to love themself's and be better persons then there is sod all you can do. I have tried everything from being a friend and being on call to her 24/7, this was when we where together. Its all been thrown in my face. She just wants to drag things out between us but in a nasty way. She doesnt want to be with me and I am starting to become the focus of her hate. She wants now to blame me for her inside problems, but these have and always been there before me. I think the way Ive acted has not helped as I most of look like her, chasing all the time, how she was with her ex. I think she wants this and gets a feeling of power. She done this to good friends of hers, used them and push them away, and now she has nobody. But my ex has this I dont care nomore attitude. She gets involved with anybody who looks interested but they never last. I hope she and like your ex think about what they have lost in time. I think you really saw all this behavour and want to show her you want to care and not use her. I did as well. I am just focusing on self improvement and keeping my chin up. I wish you well mate.

Hi friend just read your post and I have had this with my ex. She would text and call about stupid things. I would contact her straight back but she wait a while or not get back at all. Its seemed like she wanted me in her life or just wanted to know what I was up too. I was displaying all the signs of moving on. She saw me with another girl and she was texting to find out what was going on. But she though it was ok for her to date other people and for her to ask about my life which really confused me. So thats all I have had is games and confusion. I dont think you will get true closure from your ex as they sometimes dont even know that all they are doing to playing games and they see it as normal behavour. This is what I was getting and still am. We ended it in a big argument where I told her what I though of her and I dont feel any better. But she too has really hurt me and I was too afraid when I was with her, to say things which she did, that where just disrespectful. So I am just going to leave her to thoughs games I guess it gives her a sense of power and control over you but I am going to break that and take it back from her. Good luck!

Man this does same the same. I had a major argument tonight with my ex. As I said before we work together. She was acting all happy and just taking the pi@s in work. I had to send her home because Iam senior to her. I started to get the guilt trip after this and we exchanged our usual words. I tell you a bit more to see if there is a pattern. I met her 7 months ago in work I got sent to this new store. Went out and a got the feeling things just werent right. I soon found out she was pergant with her ex. 2 months before we started to date she went back to him. Ive stuck by her through an abortion and all his crap. I started to learn her to drive and was just making her feel special. She did ask me to walk away a few times and twice I did but she found a way to get me back. I even got back with her when she got back with her ex for 1 WEEK. I tried so hard to make her happy and she end it by starting to take drug (coke) in a party and she came out of a toilet with this guy. I went mad and ended it. She said nothing happen but she went out with him for 3 days and threw that in face and that hurt like hell and still does. We havent got back since and that was about 2 months ago. I still bloody chased a bit but soon started to get myself back. During the 2 months she did stupid things to get me mad and it did work for while until I just ignored what she did or say. It started to work and I could she was looking for other ways to get a reaction from. T his happen when she though I seeing another girl. It started with stupid texts about nothing and calling me pretening it was about work things but I think she was just fishing to see what I was up too. I stupidly said there was nothing going on and I knew she knew there was not. We where talking by text alot and started to be friendly in work. She asks me out for her birthday and it went wrong from there. I got her gifts and got drunk told her I want to be with her and she says OH I AM WITH somebody there is no chance I would get back with you. Why did all her friends go out or this guy. I chased again because I drunk trying to call but no luck. I just felt stupid in the morning like i gave her my control I was getting back. It seems she just wants attention or loves to be loved. That day I met her up and thats when I flipped and told her all the things I want to say to her, I was a bit nasty but didnt call her any names ot stuff like that. She just acted like a kid and said moust of the things your ex said (like i was using you etc.) Now it seems she still wants to get me back but for what, for loving and caring. I know I have said stupid and some nasty things but I was hurt and still feel hurt now. Its so bloody hard when you see them most days. People and friends said they would go mad and are surprised that I lasted this long. Also this is the weird part. It was her now best mate who set her up with the first guy. We had a few words to say to each about this. Now she is texting me and being really and I mean really friendly. She says she see her for what she is and they have been fighting really badly. Not about me but this girl sees what she had do and thinks it is nasty and uneeded. She wants use to go out next WEEK! This girl has stuck up for me alot. What do you think. I also havent had any length of time apart from not seeing my ex and really need a break from work. But I go to a new store in 2 weeks. I still love her and did get my birthday gifts back but do you think I should give them back after some time has past. Keep your chin up you have helped alot and PM me I send you my msn if you need to talk and get it off you chest. Its help me a bit.

Yea I know that sinking sick feeling aswell. I think I would go mad if it wasnt for you guys out there. Ive had everything thrown back in my face. When she got with this guy after we split up 3 days after. But the funny thing was that her now best ex friend told me they only lasted 3 days, but my ex made out that she was going out with him for a couple of weeks. I am not sure if it made me feel any better giving her a mouth full of all the nasty stupid things she did. She too got me to go out for her birthday a few days ago and me being stupid bought her an expensive watch and bag. I took her out, spent loads of cash on her. She knew I still loved her and I am admit I was a bit stupid to get drunk. You know what it like when you have had a few drinks. Twice she has told me that she was with somebody but where was this new guy. From what I have heard its a guy that works in this bar facing our work and the people thinks he is gay. Even his own work staff. I ve only heard this from other people. I think she is really trying to get back at me, but for what. You try to speak to her but she just throws everything back in my face.. Well Ive got my gifts back from her, but again I feel sorry for her do you thing it was stupid for me to get the stuff back because its looks really petty. I am again in work with her tonight and I hate working with her. But I going to try to look happy and say as little as possible to her. Thanks Mate!

Hi again Ive just been reading some posts. Its seems that me and my ex have been playing lots of mind games with each to gain control. If you have been reading my posts you have sort of an idea of the background. Back and forth and lots of mixed signals from my ex. Well Iam going to do NC, follow what superdave has said and make no mistakes. I am too good for all her crap! Thanks guys for helping and all the wonderful people on this forum. As I said I will drop you guys a line if there is anything to report.

You know what my friend this does sound all too the same. I think we have had 3 splits as well. She has this Ive been hurt by my ex so iam going to hurt other people. It came to blows a few days ago and I told her what I though of her and guessed her game. I think she want to make me like what she was like after her ex had broken it off with her. She deep down want me to chase get upset and do all the stupid things you do when you had fell for somebody. I think she has replayed all the stuff what had happen to her with her ex. This girl has really and I mean really hurt me and your where right it doesnt make it any better when they say I didnt mean too or try to say when I told you so. She said all that too me. But it has been her finding things to keep going or when I seem to be getting myself back she starts to contact me. I think she did get mad when she though I had moved on, I texted her once telling her this when she asked about this other female friend of mine. Then she starts to make out we where just friends and its good that exes can be friends, but I think she just wanted to know I still wanted her. Why do they do that, cant they just let you go. But I guess I should have been stronger from the outset and tell her where to go. Its still bad between us and I only have 2 weeks of working with her before I go to a new store. Now her best friend at work is not speaking to her and she is blaming me. I am not even involved but she has found a way to get me involved and now is trying to blame me. I cant figure her out. She is starting to lose all her friends. Yes its like a rollercoaster and there have been great highs and very lows and this is one of then. I think I needed to hate her because I dont want to love her but I still have these feelings. She just doesnt see what she has done, when I had that major argument I told this but she seems it ok because she has had it done to her. Your right I am better than this, but its hard not wanting to get your own back but then I will just be lowering myself to her level. Well all Iam going to try to do is forget about this bad time and be strong! I will keep you guys uptodate. I know there will be another thing good or bad (mainly bad) over the next 2 weeks.

Guys help me please! My ex has really messed my head up and I am trying to be strong. I followed lots of advice and posts here. Messed up a few times and then got back on track (self improvement, going out with friends, etc.). My mistake was to start dating a co-worker. Went out for about 7 months and split for about nearly coming onto 2 months. Lots and I mean lots of crap has happen. She is so confusing. During our split she has dated a few people which I know is non of my business, also trying she kissed another co-worker who she had dated before us and she knew I always felt unhappy about her conatcing him during us dating. She just seems to be mad at me when I dont give her attention or look like I am happy. She has found ways to suck me back into her life and wanted me to be friends. I have had to put in a transfer to a different location because I just cant handle working with her. We did the 'I hate you stuff' after we split up and then just ignored each other in work and avoided each other as much as we could. Things started to go a bit strange a weeks ago. For about 3 weeks nothing much happen I started to move on and even though I was still hurting from the split I knew I just had to be strong. I was going out alot more with friends from work and my ex would try to tag along. I would just ignore her and it was becoming easier. We had a work party last month and I brough a female friend of along. My ex sent me 2 text during the party. One was a joke about something stupid and the last one was asking if I was with somebody. I asked her about this and she just said she was seeing if I was ok because I just left the party. See saw me leave with 2 other people. Since that our contact has been hit and miss. I started to be nice to her in work, didnt talk about us and any bad stuff. Just making the effort to get along. She said she wanted to be friends and I just said it was ok but it does not work out. Because we where getting along she said a text saying 'admit you where wrong exes can be mates'. My female friend had a few drinks with me near a local bar and my ex would come over, I dont know how she found out I was there but she did. Again I would be friendly. She would contact me over stupid things about work and did ask me was there something going on with this girl and if so why was I texting her back as this was confusing her. I mean all this was confusing me. I did tell her she was a friend. We worked a few late shifts together, this was the first in a long time and I think I made a few mistakes from then. We had a bit of a drive after work, listen too some music and didnt talk about us or bad stuff. This followed with some texts and then goodnight. I have always loved her and cared for her but knew if she wanted to start up again it would have to come from her and I was beginning to feel this was her way to get back in as friends. Next she asks me out for her birthday and again I stupidly went out during the day with her and in the night. I though she was with somebody as that was the impression she gave me. I gave her a very expensive watch and bag and, which I know sent the wrong message. In the night I got drunk and she had to take me home, now I dont know how she got it but she had my mobile. There was lots of texts from other girls on it and knowing her she would have check it. I know she checked it because I had new messages and there where shown as being read on my mobile. I have done nothing wrong with any other girls, I mean there is just 2 female friends I have. They have helped me a bit aswell to try and move on. Well i went to get it and got upset that she didnt want to get back together and told her she was confusing me, she told me she was with somebody and we where friends thats it. Now before all this I got a message from her saying she wanted to be friends and we will just have to see what happens. The day after NC. The next day I contacted her to go on a drive. We did but she didnt speak to me much and was calling another guy to go out. I though this was not need with me being there and we just started to argue. Everything I wanted to say about her just came out. She's got no friends, she used me to get back at her ex. She got with somebody after 3 days of us splitting up. She has messed up her best friends head and they are not speaking now. This was a bad argument and I feel stupid and that I have gone to her level. She said I was used to get back at her ex and that she has never loved me. I knew she was saying things back because I did. I just needed to get them out and yes maybe I was upset she has hurt me the way she has. Can anybody make any sense of her, we havent really had a long time of NC and I am moving to a new store so I can try to get some space and time. Thanks