madtolove

I am so sorry to hear your story my friend. I had a girl like this a few months back. We got together when I started in my new store. We dated for about the same time and I found out she slept with her ex 2 months before we got together. She said she was pregant thru him and she was going to have an abortion. I didnt know what to do and she asked me to walk away which I did sort of bowed out. I did like her alot but knew it was for the best. Anyway things happen and she got back with him for a week and ended it. She calls me and we dated for about 3 months and I had those feeling of trying to hard to keep her. But I guess I was a sort of rebound. How we ended was we went to a pub for a drink where her friend worked and I felt something was not right with her and a guy who worked there. It turned out he liked her and he was texting her. I confronted her about this and she went mad saying I was stupid and told me to go away. She went out with him 3 days after that. The hardest thing was we worked together and they only lasted about a week but she made out she was with him for about a month. I found all this out thru her friend who though she was and had treated me nasty. Lots of other things went on but I am not going to take over you post with my story. Your not alone my friend and I didnt think I would feel better, I just felt used and lied too which is maybe what your feeling at the moment. The most stupid thing I did was chase and I gave her the power over me which I wont be doing again. I am in an akward situation with another girl but I have walked away from this one. I laughed when I first met her because she had problems like my ex. I though how unlucky but I figurered that it wasnt me. You seem like a nice bloke and this girl is a waste of time. I know how hard it is to walk away but you must. I been reading this post and it has helped me so much to be strong and figure it might do you some good. Take care

Hi dig. Well plan didnt go as planned, we both in work early so gave it a miss. We spoke a few times just chit chat and sent a few messages. I sent this as a last one, and after what you said about being sorry I though you where so right. What am I sorry for, for liking her. If she takes that the wrong way then thats her problem. I told her in the nicest way possible. Its not a crime to like somebody. So anyway I just said 'I didnt mean to make you feel arkward about liking you. Want to know how you would feel about me taking you out on a date. Would that be cool'. Thats it now havent had a reply cos its late but if she avoids that question then I know she is not interested at all. What I am asking really is a change for us to date and maybe see what happens. I know theres nothing wrong in that do you think. Thanks

You guys are great! Please dont have a go at me but I am going to met up with this girl tonight. She asked me what I was doing, we havent seen each other alot over the past week and she want to do something with me. I asked her if it was just going to be me and her and she said yes. I have 2 choices to make to talk to her and see what feelings she has if any. There was somethink that has been playing on my mind which about a week ago when we spoke after we had a argument. I said about her bringing her other friend along all the time. I made it into a bit of joke saying did she think I was going to jump on her, she replied in a joke way back I wont know what to do. My mate who I respect alot and is alot more clued up than me and like you guys thinks I should just go out with her on my own. Go to the pictures or somethink and hug her and kiss her. That way I will know and not be guessing. That was my second choice. Thats going to take alot of balls. Well its tonight and I will let you guys know. LOL Thanks again and take care.](*,)

Hi kellbell I know u have been following events and do respect what u are saying. If a force the issue of what am i, i will look like the bad guy pressuring her and dont want that. So with out playing any games etc is there any way I see her hand so to speak. I have tried the direction way and didnt get any answers. Do I back off and make myself busy. I spoke to a close work friend who knows all about this and I respect him truly. He says its clear she has feeling but he thinks she is scared because I am too nice and she doesnt know how to take it. I am thinking off just letting it go and moving on. Thanks anyway.

Thanks guys your advice is so help. DiggityDog I've followed some of posts and thanks aswell for sharing your thoughs. I kinda of feel like Iam in a nowin situation. They way she is at the moment is a bit of a mess. She is sick aswell. I know she cant use that to keep me around but dont know why she hasnt put me straight and say theres noway we are going to be anythink more. But I also know that I am helping her and she doesnt want to lose that aswell. Man this is hard. Ive tried to talk to her a while back but she avoided that subject. They after a week or 2 I sort of popped it in again, and now this week. Thanks

Hi thanks for the advice. Again I am not really sure if I am pushing it. I told her that I liked her because I do. We do spend alot of time together and I have grown to like her despite all the problems. I didnt want to lie to her, being friends to her and she thinks its just that. As I said we did talk last night and did say sorry for freaking her out. I am not sure if I did wrong by letting her know and she has given no signs that she sees me as more or wants more in time. I really dont think I can ask her again. I sort of knew that something was up, I was a bit drunk when I told her again I would like us to go out if she wanted that. I didnt go over the top, but I really wanted her to know. Last night we spoke as I said in my last post and I said to her I think I have freaked you out, and she just texted back U have. That was last night. I dont call her all the time and let her contact me through text etc. If I dont get back to her she thinks I am being funny with her. So I am stuck. I wanted to go out with her, maybe just as friends and see where if goes but needed a bit more of a sign. I am really unsure as to what to do. No she is not the shy type. A while back we where chatting about how you meet people and stuff and she said normally she just goes out with guys they dont really tell her they like her. I think she meant if she meets up with a guy they just go out, the guy just normally kisses her and does not say anything right at the start. She doesnt normally have them saying they like her. Not sure if that has any meaning to what is going on.

Hi well Ive think i have really messed up. My post for some background. Quickly met this girl 2 months ago. She need some advice and thats how it got started we became friends. Her head was in a mess and we hung around. Its weird because I have spent loads of time with and really liked her. This week I did tell her and ask her did she want more. The day after she did call ot text me till about 1 am in the morning. Just asked what i was up too, I went out for a work friends leaving do. I left my phone at home and after that message is text me saying was i ignoring her. I text her when I got in saying no and because I was a bit drunk I sort of said alot more. I told her that again liked her and would be great if we could go out dating and see what happens. Today she did call me on break and she didnt say anything about what I said. We did speak in the evening. I told her i was sorry for the message I sent and was a bit drunk and didnt want to freak you out. She said U have. Thats was all. Need help thanks.

Hi guys, well i posted again last night but before I went to bed I text my confusing girl mate. She didnt text back at all last night which is odd. So I though what the hell I am going to stop messing about and ask her does she want us to be more than friends. Still hadnt had a response. As Ive said before I did tell her I liked her and care for her. She hasnt said anything about how she see us and I think the time has come to get an answer. If her past is holding her back then I think its best we just stay mates but I will certainly be keeping my distance from her and not met her up as much. Do you think I am right with me asking the question.

Hi guys. Things have been ok between us, its weird because when we spoke I acted like a boyfriend not just a friend. I though if thats what I want I will act like that. What I mean is to say things I didnt want (ex's or weird guys calling and her putting me into positions that I felt unhappy to be in). As I said I explained all this and she sort of argreed. She hasnt been well so sort of cool'ed it a bit and just let her contact me. Last night she was upset and wanted to be on her own so I just said no problem call if you want. She did sent me a few nice texts and I just left it at that. The problem today was I took her home and again she got another strange call from a guy saying he knew her. She flipped out on the phone and kept asking who he was etc. I got really mad but didnt say anything, I spoke to her about this after she had finished and explain she though it was one of her ex boyfriends mate messing about. I dont think it was the right time to have a go at her for speaking to this guy so left it. I just think its in her nature to question calls like that, I have told her before that if she wants to have a new start to close the past off, and that means not speaking to people or strange guys who call her. I know it does freak her out but she is not doing herself any favours by answering her phone. Again we sort out one problem and another one comes along. Advice guys! Thanks so much By the way from what Ive posted I am still unsure if she really likes me I think she does.

Hi guys I have abit of an update. I follow all advice given from you wonderful people. So didnt speak to my girl mate the day after we had an argument. She didnt call or text either and I deleted her number. The morning after I get a text message from her asking was I working. I just deleted it. I was working a late shift till 10 and get another text message saying did I want to sort this out which I though was very forceful and demanding so again deleted it. Just as I was about to leave work the phone rings it was her, she was upset was saying sorry for being nasty and wanted to speak to me. I did feel sorry for her and we had abit of a chat. I did tell her again that she had hurt my feelings. I told her about some of the things she was doing which made me uncomfortable and the calls and she gets aswell. She said that all that was going to stop and she knows that she doesnt need that in her life. I told her I want to spend some time with her on my own but she brings her mate out with us all the time. I said was she afraid that I was going to jump on her if we where alone she just laughed and said she wont know what to do if I did. I said it in a joking manner but her response suggests she was letting me know her feelings. I talked to her like a boyfriend, in a caring way and made it clear that I would be there for her but not if all this mad stuff was going on. Anyway we met up for a bit and had a light heart chat. She ask me to come out with her to party this sat and I agreed. When I got in she texted me saying that she so much wanted to call me the night we didnt speak but wanted to leave me alone. I said also I wanted to call aswell. I did make it clear that I liked her and have loads of respect for her and didnt want to hurt her in anyway. She replied back with lots of kisses in her text. I am right in saying that she does want more than friends. She has call me alot today but we havent met up as we where both working different shifts. Girl friends at work as saying that she likes me, they dont know her to speak but Ive told them whats happen. They say if I was just a friend that she wouldnt speak to like that, meaning sending lots of kisses in her messages or saying good night my love when I said good night to her. Anyway she has made an effort to say sorry and we did clear some stuff up. What should my next move be. She didnt say OH were just friends when I made it clear I saw her more than a friend and she hasnt back off from me. The calls and texts are still the same. Many thanks

Yea again this morning she tried to contact me calling alot. I didnt answer at but asked her to stop calling me and told her she said what I meant o her last night. She just replied her head is messed up and went on again that she is having problems and she doesnt need this right now. I just said I cant be there for her. I go into work and she calls saying are we going to sort this out, I just said no I am working and will speak to her another time, she demand to speak now and I just put the phone down. Next I got a text saying that she will have the last laugh I just deleted it. Then I get another saying she was going to have a go at me when she came into work, we both work in a supermarket but different departments. I didnt want trouble she call her, I said again that she was using me and ask too much. She was putting me in situations that made me feel akward. I didnt want to do that anymore and its best for us to not be friends. She calls again later on asking me to delete her number and just being childish so I put the phone down. So tonight I am expecting so abuse or nothing. What the hell is going on with her, I tried to talk to her about her behavour but she reacted by being nasty and now all this. Again if I was just a friend to her and no more why be like this. Many Thanks you guys.

Thanks Kellbell Yea you where right again, soon after we spoke i got in and post your reply and was so tired I fell asleep. Ive woken up in the middle of night. Guess what 3 missed calls and 3 text messages. They just say ignore me then. The last one says "u hurt me i hurt ten times harder". Dont understand why she wants to hurt me when all I have done was be there and give a damn. I do feel better in a way for getting it out what was upsetting me about her and how she was acting. Not sure what to do. It was getting hard being friends with her, yes I did want a bit more from her than friends but in a nice way not too see what I could use her for sexual wise. Thanks so much for your kind advice.

Thank you so much. I did speak to her after today, she was also starting to snap at me. I told her I was fed up. She tried to combat it by saying she was not my girlfriend and I said I am not your boyfriend. I finally stood up for myself and I do feel better. I have done alot of thinking, she makes out she has all theses friend but there nowhere to be seen and just too many things about her dont add up. I did like her and told her that a while back but she used the Iam not ready for anybody but still texts other guys and get strange calls which I dont think are that ramdom. I was starting to become the guy friend who she would contact when she had problems. Anyway she just got mad had a go at me, was shouting at me saying she didnt need all this, why I am saying this now. Then she ask for some stuff back which I got her and was being rude to me, that said it all what I meant to her. I did it all face to face aswell. What do you reackon was really going on with her, if I was just a mate why be like this with me. It felt like a split up between b/f and g/f. I am just going to relax for a while. I dont want to speak to her because it will just upset me. What do you think she will do. I know I ve done more than most people and guys have for her but not going to do it any longer if she makes me feel that I am being used. Her loss.

Hi guys, Ive posted before but seek your help again. Just to be brief met this girl at work, sort of knew her before. Didnt really speak but she started to become friendly with me. We started to meet but if became clear she had loads of problem with guys and ex's and loads more other problems. Anyway I helped her as a friend and didnt think it was anythink more. I do like this girl and sort hinted I did but she sort of said she wasnt ready to be with anybody. I dropped the subject. We have been spending loads of time together and she acts like she is my girlfriend but without the b/f and g/f kissing etc. Her friend from work comes out with us all the time now if we do anything and I feel like I am there therapist. It becoming a bit too much for me. This girl friend of mine does have problems and I am there for her all the time but only known her for about nearly 2 months now. We did sort of have a argument a few weeks back went she was asking me to take her to all strange places and stuff and I sent her a message asking what I was to her. She took this as I was asking if I was more and she replied a good friend why?. I said I didnt want to met up anymore and she got mad and sent a nasty text message back saying I was helping her to get her into bed. We spoke the next day and I just said I was feeling like a cab driver. She said sorry and we where ok again. Also she did at first get loads of calls of strange guys asking her ok but she says that it was her old b/f playing games. Also one time she asked me to take her to met this guy to sort out a problem her cousin was having and i got a feeling all was not true. She said she didnt know him well but it was her cousins mate and it seemed really shady. I know she has been texting him and calling him a few times and I asked why. This guy seems trouble and has just come out of prison. But she says he is just a mate and is worried about him, this is odd. The calls have sort of stop from other guys but I not really sure. I dont think she is meeting other guys as she does spend all her time with me and she does feel like a girlfriend but again without the hugs/kisses etc. She has said in conversation the all guys have cheated on her, I know I am totally different to what she normally hangs about with. The more time we spend together and closer I become but dont thing I can stay about and hope we will start dating. She is a bit touchy feely with me in a playfull way and I got a call from my ex a few weeks but didnt answer and I just said we have split up about 3 months ago which is true. I just said she messed me about and it was over. She got mad and wanted to call her. If iam just a friend why does she want to spend all her time with me, but brings her friend along all the time. Do I have a talk to her about all this, I am just becoming fed up and tired. I feel most of the things she asks of me are what a boyfriend would do but not a friend of 2 months. I think i am too blinded by the fact that we would start dating as I have become to like her. Is she just using the iam not ready became she has a good thing going with me helping her and has not interest in me what so ever. Cheers

Well back again. I see you have been thru all this before soul. I think your so right in what your saying. I am getting really bad doubts about this friendship with this girl. I would love to find out whats going on inside her head. She has necer met a guy like me before and does normal go for the bad boy type. Will she stop texting her guy so call friends and i think some of them where guys she hanged about with. I think she knows they used her but not sure why she stays in contact with them. I think I just appear safe to her. She wants the male friend but if she wants the boyfriend its the bad boy type. I not sure what to do now. As you put it, if I try to find out whats going on she will turn it around and say she is not ready and thats what I am after. I think I so different to the other guys she normally hangs about with. Another things which has me thinking is a girl at my work said if a girl likes you I would know about it women are move direct. But for some reason she says that she thinks she does like me. Why try to spend all her time with me and call me all the time. The calling and texts to other people has stopped and NO i am not trying to change her or stop her texting other people. They just seem to be guys she says she doesnt know and that an ex or what not is playing games with her. Also if she gets a missed unknown number she will call it if find out. There are too many strange things about her. But for some reason I keep seeing her. I am not sure if I am now on the rebound from my last ex even though we split about 3 months ago and broke all contact when I move to another location at work. She has also contacted me but trying to see what I am up and has not real intentions of getting back and I would not. This new girl mate of mine seems like my ex, with all the strange calls and behavour. I think I must attract these types. What do I do. Ive tried again to talk to her about this but as we are not dating I feel akward as this would be what a boyfriend who say. I get this feeling this is going to turn out badly.