My bf is very eager to get into my behind mainly because he wants harsher, tighter sensation. He wanted to just ram into my butt with his full hard on but I knew better and had him start with his finger first. You have to relax though. It's a little difficult to do at first but after a few times you get used to it. After finger, move onto beads. There are beads with different sizes. Start from the smallest beads and move up. Use lots of lub on the beads!!! That's very very important!