confused_male_32

Sure, we all grow up with simple dreams of having a family and having a companion whom you love and grow old with. I was taught about love and marriage and a happy life and a good old American values, but, there were no chapters on breakups and heartbreaks. I wish they were because that is also very much a part of our lives. when you love someone so deep and it is rejected something inside you dies. All you wanted was to love and be loved in return. Such a simple thing turned out to be so hard. I can understand why you say that you will take him back if he came back to you. I would probably do the same thing if I were you. It goes against all logic but somehow I think you know that it will give you peace .............atleast for a while. however I don't think it will be the best for you in the long run. Hope is the most powerful of all human strengths which keeps us going at such times. Please try and meet someone who you will believe will love you and care for you always. He may not be the great love of your life but he my be the next best thing for you.

Hi, I am back I was traveling for a while. Have you considered taking a vacation? It may not be such a bad idea. I can understand what you are feeling to some extent. I am going through a breakup myself and my emotions are confusing me. I am usually not a heavy drinker but these days I am going out with friends to a bar everyday and drinking myself silly just to block the pain. Even tonight just an hour back I came back home drunk and then I thought of you. I felt that I should definitely check on you to see how you were doing and if you needed to talk about something and if there is something I could do to help you out. Do what your heart tells you is the right thing to do......... If you ever need to chat message me in yahoo messenger (ssray2000). I wish only the best for you and hope you find peace

I understand how you feel. You are looking for stability in your life and relationship so that you can focus your energy on other aspects of your life like your hobby and profession. I sincerely hope that you find what you are looking for. I am in the process of healing after a breakup with my girlfriend. We were together for five years. There are days that I wake up in the morning feeling lonely and depressed and feel like curling up in the corner of my bed. The memories of our loved ones are so fresh that you can almost feel like they are still around sometime and if you try hard enough you can almost still feel and touch them. I still don't know why my girlfriend broke up with me. What did I do wrong? Though I keep telling myself that I did nothing wrong......then why do I get this feeling that it was somehow my fault. I eventually realized that no matter how tough you make yourself nothing can prepare you for a breakup. So! don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the best way to overcome the grief is to let it overcome you first and after that the only thing that can happen is that things get better. Its ironic that I told you last time that you were not at fault in anyway. Maybe sometimes an outsider can see things better and have a better perspective on the situation. If I told you my complete story you would probably conclude that it was not my fault either. I have been into six weeks of NC myself and at times it becomes really hard though I have found that my emotional state is much better after these six weeks. I know the feeling of losing cool in presense of your ex-. I have been through that a couple of times and I ended up feeling so weak. Why why do we do this ourselves? I wish there was a switch I could flip and turn off these feelings

thanks for the responses. I can't say for certain that I will be not feel bad if she does not reply. I forgot to mention that the defense is essentially a formality. It is a given that she will clear it. Usually following the thesis presentation, there is a party with lots of drinks. How many of you feel that a congratulatory message would be more appropriate? She would be a "Dr." by the end of the day.

My girlfriend and I broke up two months back after a four year relationship. She is in graduate school and she is defend her thesis by the end of this month. I have been doing NC for five weeks now. The thing is that we were working closely during the various stages of her thesis work and I was quite involved in her project. The greatest thing we shared was our passion for the work and I advised her whenever she came to me for help. A week after we broke off she mentioned that it would be nice if I came to her thesis defense but she was very emotional at that point. The last time we spoke over phone five weeks back she mentioned which day she was defending but she didn't say anything about me attending it. We never fought or argued during the breakup. She just told me that she was very stressed out with thesis writing combined with preparing a move to take up a job in a new city and she would like to take a break from the relationship. Eventually as I had expected the break became a breakup. My ex- stresses out very easily and she is not good at handling pressure of making multiple decisions at the same time. My question is : Do I break NC now wishing her good luck with the defense and hope that she writes back? or... Do I wait till she defends and then send her a big congratulations and hope we can start a positive conversation? I need help. thanks in advance

I feel really bad for you. There is nothing that you have done to deserve this. You obviously are very good at your job and clearly you became a doctor out of a strong desire to help people. I know only too well the long hours of med school and residency. I understand your desire to feel "complete" as a family. You have a good career, a great mom ........it is only fair that you have a equally great family life. I am certain that you will soon meet someone that will make you feel like you are the only woman in this world and love you so much that the pain will just melt away. With the right guy you will not feel like controlling the situation. Is your ex- and his new gf have a lasting relationship? ...extremely unlikely. Will he come back to you?......almost certainly Will you take his back?........(you tell me) I am in medical research myself working at a reputed hospital in Boston. My research covers ALS and Parkinson's Disease. When I meet an ALS patient usually the first question from their family member is "why him/her? he/she is such a nice person". What do I tell them? I don't have an answer.....the truth is we can't always explain why bad things happen to us. Unfortunately the curse of being in the medical field is that we try to rationalize and diagnose till we have a satisfactory explaination for the current situation...its really hard not to. The best thing is to just believe that good things happen to good people no matter how bad the situation may seem at a give point of time

Hello, this is my first time at a forum such as this so please be kind. I met my girlfriend when she was married to someone else but wanted to get divorced because her ex was extremely abusive (emotional not physical). I was very supportive and helped her through a very difficult divorce and our relationship was great until about a few weeks ago. I must mention that we live in different cities but we see each other every week. Now she is planning to take up a job in the city where I live and we have been talking about buying a house etc. All of a sudden, one day she tells me that she is not sure about us and needs time to think. She told me that she needs some time alone. I respected her decision and stopped calling and meeting her even though it tore my heart to shreds. Will she leave me? why is this happening to me? How do I react to this situation? Will this time apart eventually lead to breakup? If anyone has any insight to offer, I will be very grateful.