greenfox4

I really feel like I need to apologize, they're off the next 12 days and obviously if I move shifts I won't be seeing them again. This is what I'm thinking of saying: 'x I was drunk when I sent that message. I can only deeply apologize for what was said, it's not my place to make you or anyone else feel bad about yourself. I have had feelings for you, and it's been stressful for me having to work with you and be around you. You have been fine towards me & I have no issues with either of you. I have talked to Bethany (without mentioning you two) and she has agreed to let me move to Navy shift, so this shouldn't be an issue. I would really appreciate it if we could keep this between us'

I can't how it can be classed as sexual harassment, I only sent 1 message I didn't say anything inappropriate. It's just embarrassing I'm wondering if I should send an email to apologize or if that will just do more damage

Yes it's the same woman. I can't remember all the the email. I told her that I like her, that I can't deal with this situation any longer and that I'm going to leave because of it. But I also said I wasn't happy with how she'd been towards me. Honestly it's embarrassing, I'm really worried now about to do

I got drunk last night and ended up messaging a co-worker of mine who I have feelings for. I have previously posted on here about this, I've made a total ass of myself. I've already put a shift change request in, so I'm hoping that I won't have to work with her again. I'm really worried that I'm not going to be able to attend work as I can't face seeing her. Any advice?

I'm having second thoughts about the dating apps, I will possibly look at going out to meet new people. In all honesty I've felt a bit of a mess today so I think I just need to clear my head before I start making any decisions on that front.

I'm not in a relationship right now, to be honest I wasn't really looking for one this year but I think my lack of contact with other women recently has probably meant me getting to attached to the fantasy of this workmate of mine, so I will look into dating apps and see how that goes.

I have the next week off so I am going to get myself right mentally & emotionally and then do my best to keep distance at work and will look to cut the chatting down. I also need to stop analysing her behaviour and getting my hopes up and just accept that we're not aligned romantically.

Thanks Rose, I feel like it's not good for me to be around her but I'm not looking to make anything happen so I don't want to have to tell her about how I'm feeling. It's a large company we work for, but we both have expertise in the same area so it's inevitable that we will be working directly with each other on occasions. In your opinion what do you think I should do next time we get placed together?

I've worked with a woman at my place of work for around six months. Unfortunately, she is in a long term relationship with another one of are co-workers. We get on really well and have a great chemistry but I am over reading everything she does, when I see her being affectionate towards her partner it's causing me emotional distress and I can't stop thinking about her and trying to read into her actions. I know I've let myself get into this situation by entertaining the idea of it but I have the issue of having to see her regularly and on occasions work directly with her for upto 12 hours. How do I go about detaching my emotions from her and handle the situation in my place of work?

You are too attached to outcomes. Just concentrate on having a good time when you see her and get busy enjoying your life and working on your goals. If you're sitting around feeling sorry for yourself or being occupied by thoughts of individuals then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Because the reality is you might meet your next partner tomorrow or you may never meet her. But you'll always have yourself, so when you can become happy with you and your life you'll be in a better place mentally & emotionally which gives you the best chance of a lasting loving relationship.

I wouldn't overthink it - give her a couple of days and ask her if she still wants to meet up. If she tries to cancel or rearrange again then I'd say that's a sign of low attraction and you may be better looking elsewhere.

Why would you want to be with someone like that anyway? He sounds controlling, paranoid and insecure.

You need to cut this girl out of your life for good. She is clearly no good for you, and will destroy you if you're not careful. The initial mistake you made was even entertaining the idea by texting her, you should of outright refused her number for the sake of your marriage. I think you need to be honest with your wife for sake of your own conscience, even if it means potentially losing her.

Outside of the prostitution (which we can debate all day), I feel that trust is a major issue in this relationship - if she trusted him would she of felt the need to look through messages from over a year ago? Will he be able to trust her after she searched through all his old messages?

I agree with the STD risk and would hope he'd have had himself tested before dating this girl and used protection when visiting the sex worker. Of course, there's every chance he didn't but it will be upto him to be truthful with her about it. We don't know what was going on in his life at that time, of course he may be using the 'bad time' reason as an excuse but so far he appears to of been upfront with her once confronted and I feel that she'd be better sitting down with him and discussing what happened to get a better understanding before making any rash decisions. Personally, I do feel it would be a mistake throw away a relationship which appears to of been going well up until this point based on something that happened pre relationship. We don't know if this was a one off event or a regular occurrence - this is something only he can tell her. Ultimately if Petra decides that she can't be with a man who has paid for sex then that is her choice but where is the line drawn? Are people who have had one night stands off the list? People who view porn? People aren't perfect, my own philosophy is to judge people by who they are today and hope they've learnt and improved from previous experiences.

From his point of view I can totally understand why he didn't tell her if he felt it would be upsetting to her. Most men who have used those vices aren't going to just come and tell their partner about their sexual history. Everybody wants fulfilment in their life's, people get confused on seeking that fulfilment and may believe that sex will give them the fulfilling feeling that you get from a relationship. I don't think it's fair to not give a man a chance based on mistakes made in the past.

Have you told him about all your sexual encounters? What he chose to do before he met you was his business and if he felt you'd think less of him then I can see why he wouldn't tell you. People use all sorts of vices to try and get through life; drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling etc. Judge them by who they are today. My advice would be to communicate to him how you feel and not let past indiscretions get in the way of your relationships.

Stop contacting her and seeking her approval. You've apologized, she knows you were drunk there's nothing you can do about that now other than learn a lesson. Right now, I believe you need to focus on healing (to get over her), and contacting her repeatedly when she's not getting back to you isn't going to help in that process.

Wouldn't be surprised if he's just irritable to work stress, especially if he's been travelling recently. As one of the users above said, just wait for him to contact you. If you've been together for over 2 years this shouldn't be a big issue IMO.

He definitely overreacted. I don't think you have anything to be sorry for. Just tell him how you're feeling and take it from there.

You have to bear in mind that she may have romantic feelings for you, it's not that you've done anything intentionally to hurt her but she may of thought things were going somewhere. Right now she's not even reading your messages, so there's nothing you can do but give her time and space. I wouldn't send any more messages until she responds to your previous one.

You're reading too much into things, it could easily be that they broke up because of the issues they had in the past. Try to keep yourself busy and not overthink things too much.

She's getting mixed signals from you as your also telling her you want to see her body, flirting with her etc. More than likely you haven't ruined your friendship but unless you want to proceed romantically with her I'd back off with the flirtatious behaviour and leave that for your current partner.

If she's not responding to you then you can't do anything except wait for her to reach out to you. Give her some time and space. In the mean time you have to ask yourself what you want? Sounds like you have feelings for this woman when you're still seeing your partner. It might be best for both of you to put some distance between yourselves as you don't want to be tempted into doing something which could later sabotage your current relationship.

I would look at the positive side, it hasn't worked out between her and this girl and she is now wanting to see and communicate with you again. It sounds to me like she realises she's messed up and she's missing you now that you've had some time apart. You are already taken positive steps by going to therapy, ensure you keep yourself busy, be good to yourself and try to steer away from anything that's going to make you feel depressed (sad music, social media etc). Healing takes time but you will be in a stronger position once you've met up and had a chat with her.