Laura45

I've been with my partner for 5 years this year has been a bad year we have argued so much and gone days with out speaking, i having issues communicating with him as he just leaves things for days and doesn't speak to me then when he does he goes on like nothings happened and then twists things on me and the issue isn't really solved he doesnt apoligise and its like a circle. we still care about each other and I'm in a very tough place now trying to work out if I want the relationship to continue its been draining and I'm very unhappy and now christmas is here where we usually spend it together I feel I should just spend it with my boys without him this year but then I feel bad if he's on his own but at the same time my sons don't like him because of the way he has treated me and they dont want to see him so I'm really stuck right now on what to do how to make everyone happy and get through it. I feel so anxious all the time.

Yes all the time they would always see me upset or down. They would say why don't you just get rid of him?..he's no good for you! Everytime we went out with friends he would spoil the night with his jelousy if i looked at someone or said hello he would kick off . One night I was helping his friends pay for the parking meter and he walked off shouting at me saying what u standing there for with my friends and was swearing and stormed off they said i dont know why u put up with it..looking back i really have put up with alot but I kept going back in the end they just let me get on with it...

Hi yes it is 😞

Thankyou everyone for the advice...its so comforting to know that everyone's on my way of thinking because the whole week I been doubting myself and feeling stressed and thinking him and who ever is advising him are right...I saw him today in the supermarket and he came over and asked me what I'm saying and I told him about himself and he carried on saying I should have given them to the boys by now and the reason I got them still is I cant move on and now I have lost him because I have put my ex before him...and he won't be second best and he will go find a real woman..one who has an adult convo and won't put her ex before him...I told him good luck to him and he walked off...its stupid really to know this is a man of 51 years old and I'm having these kind of convos with him...and I've spent nearly 4 years with him its sad...but I know there will always be something I got to think of myself now..

I know and he's telling me that I should have given the albums to my sons by now...and move on

I have no friends and family around me really but i talk to them on the phone they all say the same thing to get rid....its hard to find councilling at all especially since the covid and most places have a long waiting list the only councilling I have found is the ones online that you pay a lot of money for but I'd like to go to someone and talk with them...

The boys havnt seen it but they know about it and they have told me to leave him...yesterday when all of this was going on I came home from work upset because I was drained trying to talk to him and him keep hanging up the phone my son could see it and he knew it was him that made me upset and said mum this is ur chance now to get rid of him its stupid what he's going on about..to be honest I've thought about ending it for a while but sometimes I question myself is it actually me causing it...but after talking with you all in the forum I'm more clear now and I wont continue with it.

If you keep hearing it long enough you start to then think is it right or wrong what I'm doing and he's telling me that people have been telling him I'm in the wrong and he's saying I'm sick etc that's why I came here to ask the forum...the thing is I havnt spoken to the kids dad he's now got a new family and lives in a different city and the bf never met him he's not been around at all and he's saying that I have broken his heart that he's gone because I have chosen my ex over him hes not going to be 2nd ...they are old pictures in an album!!!!...its madness!

Verbually No...its everytime there is an argument he will shout at swear down the phone. When I'm talking he will talk over me then hang up then ignore me or block me. If I speak to anyone then I'm accused of talking to them behind his back and I'm called a narsty a B**ch he hates me etc he's done it in front of his friends to and they told him to stop. So yeah it's been like it for a while he's never apoligised ever and no it seems to be getting worse and he's going from one thing to another.

Thankyou so much everyone im sorry but I had to ask the question because he's been making me suffer all week and making me think I'm in the wrong ive been really stressed...hes ignored me..hung up on me...talked over me...called me nasty, a ***...he hates me...he's done and he's blocked me and everyone he has spoken to said I was wrong...

No he doesn't live with me (thank god) but ur right about the abusive behaviour part I'm seeing it alot now.

I know this Is what I keep telling him but he won't have it...hes telling me I can keep the pics but he is gone..honestly this whole thing is stressing me out...

Hi wiseman, 1 of my sons live at-home the other one has left home he didn't snoop but my mum came over and said can u bring the baby albums down so I did and he saw the pics then and then I took them back to my room he didn't say anything then that was months ago but he has started this week and it's really stressed me out because I never thought it would be an issue.

Hi all, I need some advice please I have 2 photo albums in my bedroom wardrobe of my two boys when they were babys from their first scans till they were about 5 or 6 years old. My oldest son is 22 years old so that's how long I've had them and there's pictures in there with them with their dad holding them growing up. We are no longer together but ive always kept the albums as there are because one day I'll give them to the boys. Now my partner of 3 years is going mad about it saying I shouldn't still have the albums with their dad in and I shouldn't be still holding on to them because of this he has been verbually abusive and calling me a *** he hates me and that I still love my ex thats why I keep them (which is not the case) we been split up for 17 years..hes since blocked me and told me we are done I have to pick him or keeping the photos...please tell me am I wrong in keeping the albums in my wardrobe in my bedroom is he right...he says he's told people and they have said im wrong. It's escalated from someone liking my picture on fb from my work place to him snap shoting people from my friends list to this thing about my albums I've had this all week.