greenfox4

I'm not sitting around drinking all day. I only get drunk about once every month. It was just the issue with this woman that was triggering me doing it more often, which is one of the reasons I left. Before I met her I was going to work without any issues, so getting a new job won't be an issue. It's just a case of been better able to handle situations like this in the future. That's not to say that I don't need to address the drinking, because although it's infrequent I do get myself into some messy situations.

In regards to asking for medication I'm very 50/50 about it. I've had nothing but bad side effects from meds, almost to the point where they've taken my life over and killed any social contact. Which is probably one of the reasons I got so attached to this girl. I feel like getting a job and trying to life a healthier lifestyle would be worth giving a shot first. Also I wonder what people on here think of online therapy?

When I went back to work I stopped looking at her social media and I told her that I didn't want to have to communicate with her anymore. The issue was are manager then put us together everyday for the next couple of weeks. She started getting irritated with me for not talking to her and started making comments constantly even though I was ignoring them. Her partner was coming over and they would start getting touchy with each other directly in front of me, knowing I was having issues. Okay, I should of possibly told the manager but I didn't want to get moved from my department and leaving now gives me the option to go back in the future. Whereas my drinking was starting to effect my attendance & I didn't want to end up getting sacked by the company. I will phone a doctor on Monday and see if I can get some different medication, I've also got a job interview on Tuesday so hopefully if I get that it will give me something to do. As regards to the social media, I've only got access to her Instagram, she pretty much never posts personal pictures but she reposts stories on there, but they're usually things about political/environmental issues, it's completely pointless me looking, but it's all become an addiction. Probably not helped that I'm unemployed so sitting around all day with nothing to do.

I've also recently come off some medication that I was on for a long period so I think that has added to the depression. Obviously the three things combined - job loss, medication withdrawal and this infatuation with co-worker has had a massive impact on me, but I can't see myself seeking out professional help right now. I've not had good experiences with them in the past and I'd rather try to focus on getting myself sorted out.

I've tried therapy before and it did very little for me. Plus, it's expensive and I'm not working as I left this job.

I've posted on here previously about this. I got very attached to a work colleague, unfortunately she was unavailable, it was getting too much for me to take and I ended up quitting my job. Issue now is I've got major depression, I still can't stop thinking about this ex work colleague of mine and I am checking her social media constantly even though she hardly posts. I have no motivation to do anything - even keeping my flat tidy or brushing my teeth etc. I've already thought about killing myself as I'm in that much emotional pain. I'm not looking for a lecture on how I shouldn't of got attached to this women, just some advice on how I can move on and start to move back into a positive direction.

Are you sure the condition will clear up? A month isn't a long time, you could tell her you're really busy for the coming month but would like to see her after that, if she's available. If the condition will be ongoing you might as well be honest, otherwise you might miss out on many great opportunities out of fear how people will react.

I wouldn't want to do that. I as a man should of told her that we shouldn't be talking during working hours. She has issues with depression and I'm not looking to make her feel bad. If I did if would be my word v hers and she now has evidence of me sending her a message outside of work, so I'd essentially be shooting myself in the foot.

I didn't mention in prior posts, largely due to feeling sorry for myself, that this girl (I feel at least) has been leading me on. She's constantly staring at me, placing herself directly in front of me at every meeting or brief, she talks incessantly to me whilst she's quiet and professional when she works with anyone else (Inc her partner), she smiles whenever she sees me, asks me personal questions about my romantic life etc I haven't just been randomly fantasising about a woman; however I can see I've handled it in the wrong way given her relationship. As I've said, I'm going to keep my distance and not say anything. When and if it's brought up, I'll simply explain that I was drunk and it was inappropriate but I would be prefer for us to keep some distance whilst she's in a relationship with someone else.

Thanks, glad to know I'm not the only one. The platform I sent this girl a message on she doesn't use very often, however she is on holiday so there's every chance she'll log in at some point. Now that I've gotten over the hangover, I'm not feeling as bad/worried as I initially did. A lot of what I said were valid points I just went about it in the wrong way. Obviously I've got to learn my lessons but I'm confident I can move on from this and use it to improve me.

It's a sedative for anxiety - Mirtazapine it's good for getting to sleep, which why I've taken them for so long but it's side effects aren't great (primarily fatigue). I'm not currently seeing any professional regarding the issues about the woman or the binge drinking but I've messaged someone so hopefully I can arrange something on that front.

My plan is: Close Facebook Phone my manager and see if a shift change is possible If not, go back apologize and face upto any consequences and if the issues persists then hand my notice in. Stay away from the woman in question and her partner, if either approach I will simply apologize and explain I was drunk and leave it at that If I do get sacked, I will control my emotional centre and look for an opportunity elsewhere - In the future: Regular Therapy Come off the medication Stop socially interacting with women at work, especially if they're unavailable. Work on building my confidence, self esteem and having a more harmonious mind

Thanks for all your responses. It's really helped during this last day, when I've been mortified by my actions. I can see that I need to see a professional regarding some of the issues talked about. It's also worth noting I've been on sedative medication for anxiety for the last few years and as such my social life has fallen away, which is probably why I'm getting attached to this woman. I will go back to work on my current shift and face up to my responsibilities as a man, there's no point me leaving and then facing these issues elsewhere. I will ensure I apologize to them face to face and if they're not comfortable I will tell the managers and obviously face whatever consequences there are. I'm hoping the fact that I've been on friendly terms with them and my apology will be enough. I will let you guys know what happens.

We get put together a lot and she usually ends up chatting away to me all day. That's why I've been getting stressed because I'm having to constantly work with her when I was hoping to avoid her so this didn't escalate.

I already sent the apology. I know a lot of you thought it was a bad idea but I felt in necessary to. I'm not going to contact them anymore. How they respond will be up to them obviously if they do decide to report me to the managers then I'll have face the consequences.

I do have very strong feelings for her but the reason I want her to leave me alone is because she's in a relationship and don't want to have to see them together anymore. The problem has been that me and her get on really well so she's regularly coming to chat to me. I know it was a fkd up thing to do and I would never of done it had I been sober.

I said I wanted her to leave me alone and that I feel her and her partner have been mistreating me. I did say I liked her but I wasn't trying to make anything happen. I was basically blaming them for me been stressed out even though it's not there fault or issue. Honestly, I am mortified by what I've said.

I'm not planning on leaving, I just said that in the heat of the moment. Obviously if I can't change shifts then I will. By the way, I'm still going to apologize as she hasn't seen the message I sent yet so she will see the apology before hand and know not to take what I said to heart.

Ok I won't send it. Do you think I need to move shifts Rose?

They have a split shift so half the staff work 4 days then the other half the next 4. I could ask my manager to switch my shift so I no longer have to see her.

Honestly, I really feel like topping myself right now. Should I ask to change shift? I'm so attached to this girl that I don't want to never see her again but I can't be getting into these situations

Ok I'll leave it at that. I said some really stupid things in the email, I said I wanted her to leave me alone and that I'm fed of the way she's been acting towards me and that I fell she's been playing around with my sanity. There very nice people that I usually get on with so I'm hoping my apology will be enough but it's certainly going to be humiliating for me

I can't see her giving me her number after what I said. I feel it will be a lot easier for me to go back in once an apology has been issued.

I don't have her number. I will send an apology and leave it at that. I was rude and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable about having to come to work.