EOCTheWinnar

Well I was thinking how I should get my job.. I think this relationship is pretty much over and I'm really depressed.. Yeah we get along really well and probably the best since we went out... However, she is working third shift. I am getting a new job. I can't decide which shift to get it. She will be going to school and so will I, even if I make our schedules around the same time she will be going to work at like 11.. get off at like 3.. probably do work then and go to school in the morning then after school go to bed and wake up for work. How the hell am I going to find time in there to talk to her? She will get off at 3 and I can talk to her until she goes to school she says... but what about her work. College their is a lot of work outside of class and studying and stuff.. and then even lets say we do talk between then or she gets out of school at 12 and goes to bed and gets up like 7 .... either way thats only 4 hours of talk potentially a day.. and then shes got friends too.. darnit. I wish I could use a better word to express this but this wont allow you to. Any suggestions anyone?

I've dated 2 girls since her, and shes dated a guy. I dated girls before her that I loved.. and I loved the two girls I dated since her.. Thing is.... no matter who I dated.. and who I loved.. I've never loved ANYONE in my life as much as her. I honestly can say that if she gained 900 lbs and we lived in a dumpster.. that I would still be happier with her than anyone else. I dont want to date her right now I dont think, and I know she doesnt want to either. But I want to again someday. The only reason I dont want to right now is because I dont wanna screw it up again. If I date her, Its gonna be a true honest to best shot. I know we can be an amazing couple. We didnt have horrible feelings towards each other afterwards. It was just such a quick break up after an intense and crazy strong relationship that I freaked out at her and we both immediately rebounded on other people. I know she has met a lot of really nice guys but she does have morals and she said that every guy besides me has pretty much been just an prick and only after her for sex. My friends made fun of me because I didnt have sex with her or even try to when I was down there. I love sex just as much as any other guy and a lot of times I would have tried with other girls. She means absolutely so much to me though that I could not possibly make myself do that unless we were dating. I dont wanna screw up our relationship (Even just being friends) and I dont want to make myself have no chance with her ever again. I've never been so sure of something in my life and I have never thought that before. I've talked to all of my ex girlfriends from before and the one I just dated I dated about twice as long and it meant nothing to me compared to this girl. Shes absolutely adorable in every possible sense.

When we were driving around and she was singing, sadly enough it was the most increadible thing I've witnessed in years.. She said she hasn't laughed this hard in a long time. I suppose that means something.

Dun dun. She is still coming up in a few weeks but jokingly I said I shoudl come down for the 4th of July.. .. she told me to.. So I got some balls and I went down there, even though I had the worst haircut in years and felt like complete crap. I get there and everything was like it used to be.. Which is both good and bad. She still doesn't want to date anyone, shes real busy now with new friends. We tickled each other and joked around. It was kind of ackward but mostly because of our break up. Near the end of the trip though neither of us wanted me to go home... The second day I was down there was the 4th and later on that night we drove around for hours and she sang. The bad part is.. shes still the most gorgeous and cute and wildly amazing girl I've ever met. I just dont think she sees me how she used to. But sometimes girls are girls and you can't read them. She said it was awesome and she still really wants to come up here... Someday I really really really really really would like to date her again but I'm not sure right now on exactly the plan for how thats gonna work out.. If anyone can put some confidence in me that its not impossible with a story similar to this or something let me know. She was so cute and so much the same that I almost had tears in my eyes on the 4th. I'm not pissed that she ever broke up with me, just that I missed out on her for the last 3 years and thats really about the most depressing thing thats ever happened to me now that I realize it.. I dont have any regrets in life except one.. and that is screwing up our relationship. She teased me about it too and said that if I woulnd't have screwed up we could still be together to this day.. she meant it as a joke but it really hurt me.

Should I play hard to get? I just got out of a big relationship with my ex, and you guys can find my post here somewhere.. Everyones advice was to get rid of my ex. (Not this one) This is and always was a much healthier relationship. I'm not looking to to jump into a huge serious commitment or even a relationship at all. I just want to insure that... when we are both ready that she will put me at least somewhere on her list. So yeah, should I play hard to get? I just don't understand how womens brains work. Not in a sexist way, shes just different. She called me for like 3 nights in a row and didn't seem like she could get enough. She hasn't acutally called in a few days now, just chat online. I'm wondering if I screwed up some how or what.

Well.. things get weirder, she just told me something along the lines of. I scared her to get close to someone. She dated someone for 3 years after me. She said she didn't wanna plan her life before and still doesnt. I'm just wondering. Should I or shouldn't I bring up our relationship at all or what. She still wants to talk to me, and still bugs me to talk. Messages me first thing when she gets online. Maybe she really just doesn't wanna give me false hopes? Or have me think that for sure we will get back together. She said one time that if we did she wants it to be through talking and getting really close again. I love this girl to death (not in the way I did before of course). I guess all in all I would rather have her as a good friend my whole life than ruin it by screwing up right now and losing her for good in multiple ways. Who knows what will happen? I was just wondering if you guys had a plan of action, an honest one that maybe I could get a good idea of what steps to follow. Shes worth it, regardless if we never go out and just are good friends, or if we go out again. Oh btw, she said I'm still the sexiest guy shes ever dated ;-)

oh yeah, she wants to come up here to see me next month, and she told me before I ever brought anything up again. I dont think the long distance thing would work anymore too well, but jesus christ it would be nice to be able to date her again someday.

My ex girlfriend moved a state away (like 3 hours or so) and we broke up a few years ago but started talking again. We were super young again but I know if she was up here we would probably give it a shot again. We are both pretty much the same as we were before just both a little more mature. We never really faught, she just wanted a break and I freaked out again. She said I seem more mature now, and we both know for a fact that we wouldn't go through the same problem we had before. I just wanted to know what are the chances we could actually end dating again? She is going to school soon and I'm almost through it. It really sucks because both of us talked again and hit it off like we always did. .... man all I can say is this really sucks. Its really screwing with my head right now. There are a million girls out there to date but we honestly hit it off more together than anyone Ive ever met besides her. She said I was the best boyfriend she ever had. arg.

Haha definatly not a control freak. I've never had a problem with anything else she does really. Why should I? This is just one situation I've always had. I don't tell people to quit, just like I haven't told her. I just am trying to understand why it bothers me.

Yeah but can't you find anything better to do than drink? What do you think the best thing I can do is? Just let her drink until she realizes it is stupid? I think its a major maturity thing, shes always been kinda rebellious and held back by her parents from doing the things she wants to do. I'm thinking maybe she is going through a stage where shes now 18 and "so cool" I guess I was kinda like that when I was 18 too, sometimes I think either a) I'm insane or b) I happened to somehow bypass this stage of life. I already had my share of drugs and alcohol and now I despise them. I just can't see her stopping, ever. I mean the two years she quit we had the best relationship ever and now she is so damn cool again now that shes doing it, shes acting like a complete idiot and it really pisses me off. In fact all of my friends who drink all act like idiots and I just leave right away as soon as I see the beer. My question is, am I afraid of something here or what? Why can't I just be a drunk crazy mofo like everyone else? Since they are all doing it they must be right huh?

Well for some reason I have this idea that she will probably cheat on me if se is drunk, which she would never do if she wasn't. I know how it is to be drunk and horny. Also, she seems to have an addictive behavior, I know that if I tell her its ok to drink it will be an everyday thing until it is abused. I just happen to not understand how people can live to be like 15 even lets say before they first get drunk, but all of a sudden its the greatest thing ever and they HAVE to do it. It's like its the only way for anyone to have fun anymore. It used ot be lets go out and do something (insert idea) now its "oh boy!!!11 I can't wait till friday so I can get so f'ed up!!! and then not remember anything and then ... ill do it again tomarrow and OMFG THAT WILL BE SO FUN OMFG!!!111 too bad I will do something stupid and not even remember it until someone tells me about it later and then gee I'm so cool because now I can act retarded like I could even if I wasn't drunk but now I have all these super cool friends who pose in pictures with me because we have a Jack in one hand and blunt in another" I mean if that doesn't smell of cool I don't know what does.

I guess a lot of it stems from the idea of someone acting stupid when they are drinking. It just really annoys me. People say it brings out your true self but that makes me feel like the next time someone commits murder because they were on some drug that that must mean it brought out their true self also. I've got drunk before and never liked it. The idea that I had fun is immediately turned into depression because if I was really having fun why did I need to put something like alcohol into my body in the first place. Right now I imagen her stumbling around drunk or any of my friends and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I'm sitting up all night thinking about my girlfriend who is probably drinking. She is not an alcoholic. When we started going out we made a pact not to drink, and now she is anyway and has decided that it is fun. We used to smoke pot but then quit that also. My problem is, I can't stand drinking and I don't know why. I have lots of friends and I would say all of them drink. I was hoping someone could shine the light on what seems like a dumb question. Why must EVERYONE drink? Everytime I've ever been around it or done it something stupid has happened. Girls acting like hookers (sorry this prevented me from saying what I meant to say), guys getting in fights, people acting stupid. I can't stand it. Just tonight they said "Lets bring out the bong and and the booze." The pot didn't bother me, I've never seen anyone get in a fight over the pot. She likes pot much more. We tried to compromise, she can smoke as much as she wants but not drink. I know a lot of it is pressure probably and hype but I just can't stand it. I want to know why I have this problem and why I am afraid of it so much, I hate it when anyone I know does it and yet I've never had an alcoholic relative or anything I can think that would stem from any kind of alcoholic activity. Just the meer sight of it makes me sick. I think it is going to bring our relationship to an end. Someone please help. I don't understand why I feel this way but right now I'm crying thinking of her having a single beer even. By the way, even I know it sounds ridiculous. I just need help. If I cant fix this, I can't see myself being in any relationship ever because everyone is going to think im crazy. Besides this everyone considers me one of the best people they know, I don't mean that in a pity kind of way, I love who I am and everyone else just teases me about this one thing. I'm one of the guys, but I feel like I'm really not.

Well the once or twice a year break up thing.... I thought that was pretty good, typically we have gotton in less fights than any other couple I know of... I'm not talking she wants to break up and we are miserable for like a week it just seems to be her way of saying that she needs to cool off for a day or so... As in, her friend and her will get in a fight and she will get pissed and tell everyone to leave her alone, then when I go to see if shes ok she will say we need to go on a break... So I will say ok and then an hour or two later she will say sorry and thats it. Maybe I was a litle pissed about the whole situation or not last night.. As for as the weed, I don't consider weed bad at all. I know many people who are super responcible and are perfectly fine who smoke it. And I know many people who aren't responcible at all and act like the BIGGEST losers when they do it. I happen to fall into the catagory that I can smoke it seldomly throughout the day and get everything I can normally do accomplished still. She happens to fall into the category that she can't get anything done and she just wants to sit around all day. The difference is, I'm the one who doesn't even seem to care to do it anymore or anything. I mean its nice and all... but.. I just don't care about it. I'm hoping she is just going through a phase as she is not normally like this. When she doesn't smoke weed, she is more responicble, probably not up to how much she should, but not annoyingly so at all and we also have a perfect non fighting everything seems ok kind of relationship. My point is, you guys say I shouldn't be with her, but I love her personality. If she didn't have this maturity problem we would be a perfect couple. Do you guys think she will come back to me because she is used to me doing everything? I'm not saying thats a good thing, at this point I'm more curious than anything.

This is going to be a strange story. My girlfriend and I were best friends who had both lost 'long' term partners in the past. I was 17 and she had just turned 16 a few months prior. Becuase of both of our pains and the facts we were best friends we slowly started hanging out until one day we held hands and a few days later we both realized we were technically going out even though neither of us asked each other. We had been going out for about three years and over the three years we experianced many things most recently going on a cruise with just each other and deciding to move out together. Things have never been perfect, she comes from what she considers a broken home. However, her parents are both married. They have almost divorced 2 or 3 times but never went through with it. The problem is she has always felt like everyone has treated her like a little kid. She HAS been called a loser and such from her parents but in ways they are kind of right, at least I can see how they would think that from their perspective. They still love her more than anything though and I don't think she mean she is literally a loser but just don't know how to put it any other way. They will tell her for weeks and weeks to clean her room and she almost didn't graduate this year but barely pulled though. I would say 75% of the responcibilities she has had I have taken care of for her. If anyone tells her what to do says shes 18 and doesn't have to listen to them. She has never been a partier really but we used to smoke pot all the time when we were friends, then we quit for two years and even though she has an addictive behavior to anything because of her home life (or so it seems that is the reason) I allowed her to start smoking pot again. Ever since then our relationship has gone from good to horrible. She was already irresponcible and now she smokes obsessively. If I can't see her because of work she will spend hours trying to find someone to hang out with. I believe it is because she doesn't want to be home where she gets bored easily and also believes her parents are preventing her from doing anything. In all honesty they really don't expect much from her, just for her to clean her room and go to school really. They never prevented her from going out anything. She has tried to break up with me a few times before however maybe once or twice every year but then quickly decided she didnt want to. I always did the wrong thing and cried and begged her back when she did. Last time she tried to break up with me I tried a different approach and told her I didn't care. Boy did she cry her eyes out and then take back the fact that she wanted to break up at all. I'm thinking this is becuase her parents have always tried to call it quits after any argument. I think it is her head that you give up that easily. We had been better for like a month and decided to go apartment shopping on thursday. Friday night I had not been home for like two weeks. She had lived with me for a while and I basically lived at her house now. Since I hadn't seen my family in a while nor got to hang out with my friends so much recently I told her I was going to a friends house that was moving to Florida and wanted to see him because he was moving soon. She yelled at me for some reason and went into her house. Skip ahead to Sunday, I haven't heard from her since Friday and one of my best friends, who is also one of her good friends that she hangs out with and smokes pot with his friends hasn't heard from her either. Then he calls back later and says she asked if she could crash at his house for the night ( he lives with a lot of our other good friends too female and male so its not like she is interested in him (which she definatly is not)). Apparently she was out at a club (Which is really unlike her) and I call her cellphone and she says she wants a break. I think she hung up so I do too. Two or so minutes later she calls back and says its over and hangs up. I haven't heard from her since and its Tuesday. No explanations or anything other than "we fight too much." Which we really don't. We rarely fight, just when we do its a big deal. What I am thinking is A) shes out at the club just to get her minds off things. and most of all B) now that shes graduating and 18 she is probably afraid that she will finally have to mature. She is so behind on maturing and doesn't have a car, stable job, anything. And she knows that now she will really have to do this stuff and since I am the biggest part of her life I think she believes she has to break up with me to do so. My friend who she is staying at his house says we are perfect for each other and she just needs to mature. I haven't even tried to call her becuase a) I am too nervous and b) I think ignoring her may freak her out and make her realize what has happened. Anyone have any advice on what we should do? She told me before she broke up with me "I still love you I just need a break" and then two minutes later "We are over bye." I know she loves me but in your guys opinion is it that she is 18 and probably wants to see what else is out there or that she just needs to realize that we don't need to break up for her to mature a little. I'm not asking for her to mature over night, but a little at a time over a long period of time would be nice and will happen regardless. I mean we were each others best friends and made a perfect couple for 2 and a half years.... We had bad times at times but what couple doesn't. She told me she loved me first and has always been the one to bring up any kind of commitment. Maybe she is just afraid that since we have been dating so long she is stuck with me and no matter what will be married to me. I am so confused and don't have many details to relate to. Her parents don't know much either.. she just left and hasn't came back or told them anything. I've had a long term relationship of two years before and when we broke up it didn't affect me like this. I know there are thousands of possible mates but I know in my heart that we ARE perfect for each other. I'm not saying I could never love anyone else but I don't think I would ever be as content.