whatsgoingon

First and foremost, I have to say I admire your courage to go with your feelings. Although I completely understand that you have a whirlwind of feelings/emotions/questions/doubts.... ect. going through your head you should consider yourself EXTREMELY fortunate, because of your situation. It is so special that your friend and you both feel the same and that it "just feels right". That is called real love and is the foundation of relationships that actually work. I was and am, in almost the exact situation as you, but my story includes more twists and turns, pain, fights and that I went back to the guy 2 months ago. I love him but am not in love with him. I swallow my pain and feelings everyday, while simultaneously try to forget about my best friend ( I moved to a different country for school, she and I no longer talk) The past 9 months for me have been a fight with myself trying to figure out who i am, who i love and what's right and wrong. So far I have only come up with one thing. HAPPINESS IS RIGHT You are obviously happy, I think you should live for yourself during this time in school. Tell people who you trust or if you're not ready don't tell anyone. Enjoy and live in the moment. Everything will fall into place when it needs to. It may be painful, frustrating. It has been for me. But don't deny what your heart wants. And remember love is love it doesn't look at color, race, gender...it just is. Haha when I take my own advice then I won't have to fake being happy everyday. What you have is beautiful, don't take it for granted and don't waste the moment worrying about everything! This can be the most difficult and what I wasn't strong enough to follow through with, the worrying and questioning was what ultimately ruined everything for me, don't let it do the same to you!

I'm so stuck I'm so hurt I'm so angry I'm so frustrated but the worst are the questions from the who..the who, who don't understand.... " What's wrong?" " How can you look upset?" " Why is the perfect princess unsatisfied?" "A million guys would die to be with you!" " You're so uckin gorgeous" "You're so uckin funny" Upper crust, in a shell and cultured .....but a grain of sand is irritating me

Last night I had a crazy dream that I was arriving to see my ex- boyfriend ( I don't remember why but i think it was to try to get him back). I arrived in his building and we saw each other through the elevator window as I accidentally pasted his floor. He was on crutches , as he had hurt his leg. The elevator took me to the wrong floor and I only had 30 mins to get to his apartment before he had to leave to catch a flight. I kept getting lost... I was beyond frustrated. It seemed like there were trick stairways in his buildings and could never reach the floor he lived on no matter how hard i tried. When I finally arrived on his floor in his apartment building it was as if i was looking out throughout huge glass windows like I was at the airport and I saw the plane on the Tarmac. I was in complete despair. I remember that I saw a person once i reached the level and they told me that his apartment was on the other side of the plane. I started crying as I looked at my watch and knew that my time was up and i knew that i wouldn't make it there before the plane left. I remember feeling horrible because i know that he had seen me going up in the elevator and i was afraid he would assume i left and didn't what to see him??????? Can anyone make any sense of this? Any input would help...Thank You!

Ok here is my story summed up quickly. Two and a half years ago I moved in with my boyfriend which was a very serious relationship. Basically we were both sure that we wanted to be with one another for the rest of our lives. In the last 6 months of our relationship I started having feeling for one of my best friends. She started hitting on me when we were out ( drinking involved) but then when we were sober never talked about it. From hitting on , went to kissing, then so on... I had been telling myself " oh we are just drunk and this is just fun" until i couldn't lie to myself anymore and finally came to grips that i had in someway fallen for a women. The first things I did was tell my boyfriend, who was crushed but understood and handled the situation very maturely. He said it couldn't continue and that i needed to pick just him, understandably. I was so confused because even though i had kissed her, i hadn't really slept with her but wanted to. I couldn't understand because i loved my boyfriend so much and didn't understand how i could want two people at once. So i told him i couldn't help how i felt and that i was curious to see what it would be like to be with a women. We broke up. I moved away from both of them and now it's been almost a year. Separating from both has been extremely hard for me. I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend i miss him so much and everyday that goes by it get worst......but i find myself still very attracted to women, even more so than before. Now my ex and i have been discussing trying things again but this time for good (possibly marriage) and part of me and dying to get back with him and part of me is dying to see what it would be like to be with a women. I don't know what to do. Should i get back with my ex and close this part of me up? please has anyone gone through this?

I have been quietly following your forum and I myself am experiencing a miniature version of want your going through. I am disappointed with the fact that you would let something that makes you so obviously happy slip away. Ultimately, I think the biggest fault in your final decision-making was how you used your kids as an excuse to continue being unhappy with your husband. Tell me what good you do them by maintaining an unhappy relationship and false with their father. Children don't listen to their parents, they sense them, remember they are your children, made of both of you, so you can't deny that you are very connected on a different level. Sure you can paint on a smile and attempt to "keep it up" until they are older, but more likely then not they will be able to see right through you. You deserve to be happy and I am sure that your children won't be happy knowing that you sacrificed your happiness for them to have a "normal" family. My parents divorced when I was growing up, I have great relationships with both parents and am happier they did sooner rather than later. Now some of friends on the other hand whose parents are divorcing when they are in their 20's are distraught. I would rethink your choice, if she is igniting feelings within you that your husband is no longer… was is there really to think about? And by the way, I read last month in the American Academy of Pediatrics Journal, that the gene believed to be linked to homosexuality is hereditary, so there is a chance that one of your kids could be BI or homosexual, so ask yourself this if you aren't honest to them, what makes you think they might open up to you about this topic in the future if it is the case. Or would you ever want one of your children feeling the frustration you are right now? Good Luck