Pips Estella

I have been suffering with this painful headache (various points at the back of my head, also behind eyes at times) for about a week now. Every morning when I get out of bed, I feel so dizzy and my head throbs. I can walk but I get so out of breath, my joints begin to ache and I get cold, even though I have a temperature. All I want to do is lie down and keep warm. I keep trying to book the doctor's but I can barely walk a great distance and I live alone. I am a bit scared because it's gone on so long and heralds no sign of ceasing. Any advice?

If you are not prone to feelings of insecurity and jealousy, then go for it! Having all those hands and legs everywhere - wonderful!

Hey, I've recently developed about six or seven brown blotches on my stomach. They don't itch or hurt. They KIND OF look like the spots that old people get on the back of their hands. I'm wondering if it's nothing to worry about or whether I should go and see a doctor immediately! Any advice?

If there's no new girlfriend, and no new boyfriend, and you still feel for him, then give it a shot...! But take it slowly.

I just wanted to say a kind thank you to everyone thus far who has shared their thoughts and feelings with me. It's difficult being with someone who has a history of going into relationships days after they break up with their then partner. I have confidence issues and I know that being abandoned for someone else would make me really ugly and pathetic. For some reason, I would naturally blame myself and my failings as the cause. So for now, all is well. On a day to day basis, my boyfriend and I click, the ex continues to send echoes of her broken heart and my boyfriend gives her genuine support. But I think that I will slowly start to detach from him. I know I am doing this out of fear of being emotionally crushed but an enforced breakup may be on the cards anyway. We were thinking about having one as next year I'm going travelling and I don't think he's hot for a long-distance thing. I don't mind, but obviously, that isn't enough.

Here's my opinion. I think your boyfriend did have a reason for breaking up with you, but he was reluctant to go into it, perhaps because he's cowardly or perhaps 'cos he genuinely wanted to protect you. Of course, that doesn't satisfy your curiosity - I don't think it's cool that, having asked him a second time for an explanation, he didn't give one. It's a clear case of someone deliberately not responding to your needs, and that's not cool or kind. As for getting jealous about a potential new boyfriend...ha! He must still have residual feelings for you, which should be an indication of how wonderful, sexy and attractive you must be. Be empowered by this, and don't be tempted to get back with him. The guy's not up-front and honest. And surely one of the most important things in a healthy relationship is good, clean honest communication. Just have a good laugh about the whole thing - he probably really does have feelings for you, but is not mature enough to show them without hurting you. I feel sorry for him.

It's weird. My boyfriend did show me most of the letters that his ex wrote him. But there's one that I did read that he hadn't shown me. (And yes I feel terribly guilty about snooping, but realise that at times of complete angst and fear and suspicion, it seems like the only thing to do.) It was the letter I previously referred to about her promising to wait for him. However, I'm not sure whether I should be concerned. The same message, albeit shorter, appeared in another letter that she sent him which he DID send me. So I don't feel like anything has necessarily been 'kept' from me. However, I wonder whether these photos are going to somehow start reawakening his old feelings for her. I may just be completely paranoid!

Yes, it is beginning to scare me that my boyfriend left his ex just to be with me, but other than that, had no complaints about the relationship. I do want to be with him, but there is always this niggling insecurity that I might not be what he's looking for. His ex OBVIOUSLY was as they were like two peas in a pod for over five years. It's one thing I've never really thought about before, to be honest... He assures me that he doesn't want to get back with his ex. He also mentioned that he was beginning to get bored in their relationship, that it got to the point where nothing she did really interested him anymore. I mean, she told him that she would do ANYTHING he wanted if he would just stay with her and not finish their relationship. But apparently, he dismissed this plea because his feelings for her had changed. Either that, at least his feelings for me had grown and strengthened to the point in which he simply couldn't ignore them anymore. Hmm...I'm not sure whether to get out of this one and save my own skin, or to stick it out.

At first, my boyfriend was getting so frustrated by his ex, especially when she'd call him three times a day just following their breakup, crying, hyperventilating, cursing him, etc. But when she calmed down and started to send "I'll wait for you" letters, he didn't appear to have any reaction in front of me at all. He just simply kept the letters. My boyfriend is pretty private, but I wish he could find it in him to discuss openly about his feelings for his ex with me. I guess that just doesn't happen in the real world. In not talking to me, he either wants to protect me or hide something. As for the photos, I know he'll keep them. I have no idea whether he'll look at them longingly, or indifferently, or even turned on by them. I don't know. But I have to say that I feel quite insulted that she has sent them. She KNOWS he is in a new relationship with someone else. And she must know that modelling pictures of her looking her best are going to have some sort of emotional impact on him. So, as the new girlfriend, and a human being, I'm being totally disrespected. Maybe I'm just jealous, but I hate feeling like my ex is manipulating my boyfriend.

It's been a few months since I've been in a new relationship, but my boyfriend's ex has never left the scene. Or so it feels. She often sends him letters; at first, they were notes begging him to come back with her, and how he'd ruined her life by breaking up with her. But then her letters became less desperate. Her basic message was "I am prepared to wait for you to come back to me, no matter how long it takes". NOW she has started sending photos of herself as she's trying to become a model. ARGH! Will it never stop??! I'm getting a bit worried about how my boyfriend is reacting to all this. He didn't have any complaints about their five and a half year relationship - he simply ended it all to be with me. The danger is, when he sees these letters and photos, he gets reminded of what was, and how great it was. It feels like the pressure's on me to be the World's Best Girlfriend. Why? Because if we argue, or I don't do things he likes, I fear he'll start wanting his old girlfriend back. Is it fair that she's sending him modelling photos and letters under the guise of being just his friend? What should I do if my boyfriend keeps the photos and looks at them from time to time - should I see it as him wanting to get back with his ex?