vanhonk2x

Wow, I really respect you for what you did. There's no point in hurting yourself further when the relationship does not seem to go anywhere.

If it's only that simple that I can actually talk to them and they'll understand. I feel that I'm responsible enough to make my own decisions, but my parents simply don't see that. Getting good grades, making it through my first year of college with little difficulties, and being generally on top of things is just never good enough. Subtlety never works with them, so the only way I see to make them see reason is to drop the biggest bombshell I could think of, leaving. It's not like I'm going to live with this guy or get married or something stupid...just get a place of my own. Besides, that's also a way of compromising my freedom, which is already hard earned as it is. Seriously, I can't imagine having anything sweeter than to have my own place, be my own woman and not have my privacy invaded whenever someone feel like snooping. Of course I never really have anything that can be construed as "bad', but I still wish they could have some trust in me. I have never, ever done anything that could possibly cause them to be so vigilance yet it's still not good enough. I'm also the first generation to actually attend college here, so of course, there is no other older siblings who could have possibly traumatize them enough to be such tyrants. *Sigh*...Leaving is also difficult. If I tell them, they'll kill me on the spot, but if I just leave a note, they'll probably never talk to me again, but that's the only safe alternative since at least I'm out from under their thumbs. I still don't know what to do...in heart, I want to leave and find out if I can make it on my own, be as strong the many independent woman I have ever met, but my head told me it's wiser to remain here and just let whatever happens, happens...and just let life past me by and other people go on to do greater things while all I can do is dream. Gosh, when did I ever become such a drama queen...I'm always so level headed.

Well, I just met this guy. He's 28 and I'm 18, well 19 soon, but big difference. The thing is, I've never dated anyone before...really. He's very, very attractive physically and though I'm not sure if we connect mentally as yet (it's too soon), he's a really sweet and caring man. He's intelligence, knowledgeable, with a good head on his shoulder, and a successful business venture. Kinda too good to be true kind of man, and oddly enough, he's actually attracted to me enough to want to know me better. Lord knows why since I only just gotten through my first year of college and am just feeling my way. Then there is my parents. They really do not want me to have a love life until I'm officially done with school. Considering that I'm still living with them, I guess I have to follow their dictates. But I really don't want to give up this guy since I think he's kinda worth it. I want to give it a try and see where it leads, but with my parents in the way, that seems impossible. I try so many times to convince them to let me make my own mistakes, but it's like talking to a brick wall. I don't want to just leave because that feels like running away and will probably not solve anything. Besides, I really, really do not want a rift between me and my parents for my own selfish satisfaction. What sort of example will that set for my siblings as well or maybe they'll just be very disappointed in me. Gosh, what a dilemma. You know, I figure I be leaving home at 18, and here I am, still forced to live under the same lifestyle my parents dictate. It's not that I'm incapable to making my own way now since I suppose I have more options, they just FORCED me to stay home as it is more convenient financially than at a dorm or rent my own apartment. Supposedly I'll still need protection from all the evil men out there *rolls eyes*. I know I'm not invincible, but I should think that I'm not such an idiot to make bad decisions on my own. Should I just leave? Of course, if I do, I'm afraid my mother's health, which never been actually bad, but neither is it good either, will worsen. However, if I stay, and continue telling myself (like I did in high school) 3 more years, 2 more years, 1...I'll say that for the rest my life, because they'll never let me go. Of course, then I have to give up my fantasy man as they won't allow me to see guys my own age let alone a Caucasian (I'm asian-and why does race always matter to parents?) male 10 years my senior...I don't want to destroy such an important relationship, but I do want to formulate new ones as well.

yea, i get pretty nervous even going up to a guy i like. it's the same "stare and look away quick when eyes are locked" episode all the time for me. i just don't get it. i have no problems with guys i'm not attracted to physically, but i do with my crushes...even in college *sigh*.

ouch! i don't think that's fair do you? in fact, i never met a ditzy woman in my life. yea some girls act this way, but only as a cover up to nervousness and what not.

u know, i worked at a beauty shop as an intern before. trust me, they're just the same type of girls you meet elsewhere. some are nice and some are just plain manipulative b*tch*s. but yea, the drama there make it a really fun experience. don't see a lot of that in high school hehee.