Idelion

Well, I don't know if she's planning on dumping him now, from what I know, their relationship is going pretty good. But she did plan on leaving him and did that back in October, of course, like I said in my original post, out of the blue she went back with him while planning to get back with me. And that's where I stopped her and went NC until the 21 of Dec where she called me. Oh yeah, currently I haven't called her or anything nor has she.

Her bf doesn't know she was talking with me and planning on getting back during October, I didn't even told her to leave him just told her that she needs to think things straight. And no, in the last call she didn't tell me that she missed me (that was during October) she only told me that she loved me very much. Do I tell her that when she calls me again (most reasonable) or do I call and tell her? She hasn't called me since we spoke the second time (my call, last saturday). In the meantime she hasn't left my head, since she called she's been there. Oh yeah, today it would've been a year since we first went out, just a quick note. Well, anyway, Happy Holidays to all!

She left me back in April, we stopped talking during July and had no comunication whatsoever until October. In October she added me again in her contact list, we began to talk normally, and knowing she had a new boyfriend I kept my distance and chose my words and topics carefully. During a normal conversation she tells me that she misses me and that she's with somebody at the moment and doesn't know what to do, I told her she's the one that got herself into that hole. So to make the whole October story short, she left him (telling him they aren't compatible) and we began talking again and started planning on getting back together. Suddenly she went back with him, out of the blue, since I wasn't gonna let her hurt me again I stopped her little game and ended all comunication. In part I WAS hurt, I still loved her, just couldn't believe she would do that to me. Now on the 21 of December she called me saying just to know how I was doing and chat for a while, I was, of course, very surprised of her calling me out of the blue, we talked, and like always, we laughed and had a good time while talking, we didn't didn't talk about our personal lives at all, and at the end of the call she tells me she loves me a lot, I said I love you too (since if I didn't I would've been lying to myself). I called her 3 days later, I really wanted to talk to her, I really like that, we talked and wished her merry xmas and a happy new years, she said it doesn't bother her me calling. Oh BTW, she's still with the same guy. Well, I'm really confused since she comes back like nothing happened, it doesn't bother me, but deep down, I know I still feel for her. What should I do?

My story is here link removed so that everyone can understand my situation better . Well, I applied to myself the NC treatment, and ... I can't say that I was getting better, but I wasn't getting worse. So like after a month of that, thinking about her, that's all I could do, she called. Her call was around 10:30pm, so I was very surprised and of course...happy . She told me that she missed me, everything about me, she said that she didn't want anyone after she brokeup with me, and that every guy she met, didn't amount to what I was. Of course, that made me feel so happy!! I couldn't believe my ears!! She missed everthing about me, she said that she felt I really loved her, 'cause i knew her so well, and that she liked the fact that she could be completely herself while she was with me. I felt like I was in Heaven!! During that week (she called me on a Monday) we talked everyday, just like we used when we were together. Telling me that even her parents said that she'd lost a good guy, and everyone that knew about me asked about me. So things were on the right track you might say. She wanted to get back with me, she needed time, and so did I to get things straight. So came Mother's Day. She told me that she was nervous about what my mom (don't live with my dad) and my grandma might think of her now, because they were crazy about her. I said that they didn't hate her, just that they were surprised at what happened (I only told my mom, not my grandma), they saw the change in me, I was serious almost all the time, so it was pretty obvious. I said to her that she need to win their confidence again, slowly, but surely. So I asked her if she wanted to call and talk to them and just say congrats or just say hi, well when the day arrived, she didn't want to, she was too scared. I said ok, let me talk to your mom and talk to her, so after congratulating her, I hung up. After saying that my ex told me to say congrats to my mom and grandma I called her again to say their reactions, they weren't bad, but a little surprised. I told my ex that my grandma told me to take it easy and my ex all of a sudden said "Yeah, because nothing is certain!" I was like, ok. All of a sudden, her positive attitude just disappearead, and on the call before she sounded very serious. This was very weird, I called at night and she didn't respond, so I went to sleep. When I woke up the next day I had a missed call on my cel, she called at 12am. So I called her, she was already awake (I wouldn't call if I knew she was asleep). Before I even said a word she was already angry at me. I asked her nicely how did she spend Mother's Day and what did she do, she said that at night she went to a church and then went out with some friends. She didn't want to tell me where, I only asked once, but that seemd extremely odd of her...and on a Sunday night?? When nothing's opened!! So I hung up, very disturbed at her attitude and her actions. Later at night, I called her to finally clear this, so she said that she didn't have to give me any explanations because she wasn't my girlfriend I said ok, I understand, then I asked her about the attitude, she said she was angry with her parents that day, so i understood cause that wasnt new. I asked her, why did she got angry when I called her earlier that day and she said that my tone made her angry, she said that I sounded like I was being careful and nice and that made her angry even though she didn't know why. I was confused at this. So we talked for an hour, calmly, she said she didn't want a boyfriend, that she was happy that she was free, I said ok. I wasn't pressuring her, but she said even talking something related to getting back together in the future pressured her. She also said that she left me because she felt a void in her life that she needed to feel, that it didn't have to do anything with religion. 40 minutes after I hung up she called me, to say something that I read on the bible and commented her about it, and that when she got home she opened the bible and it was on the page with the verse spoke to her about. I said that I loved her and that one of the things i ask to God is that she would one day appreciate my love towards her. Since then she hasn't called me. This is really painful, she said that she wanted to get back with me after a time, but then she suddenly changed, this is just too weird. What is going on?? (I'm sorry this is soo long)

In my case, religion ended it for me ... or so she said, days later she said that she wanted to be alone. But the night she left me, she said we didn't share the same vision on God and that prevented her from completing her goals. I believe in God, I love him and recognized him as my saviour, the only thing is that I don't like to go to church, I'm not comfortable in them. I wanted to accompany her to her Christian church, but that's wasn't enough. I wasn't a Christian in the end. She never had any complaints, just that. Yep, so religion ruined my relatioship. I wasn't bothered if she went regularly, if she was happy then I would support her. I said this because you should lay on the table everything that might seem like a problem in the future (I did, but it didn't work it seems), so that you guys can work them out early on. I hope it doesn't ruin your relationship. Just disscuss everything and try to work it out. And try to show him that what really matters is your love to him! Oh yeah, also, don't loose respect towards his believes (although he's not respecting yours very much), he might take it very personal. Hope this helps! Take care!

Wao. I can't say more. You do have the strenght to overcome this, I'm not that strong yet, but slowly I am. In my case, If my ex called, I would pick up the call, and talk normal, only is she brings up the topic about us only then I would talk about it.

Wow, my friend, you are strong!! I'm learning that the hard way. Today when I chat with her, I really wanted to see how was she doing and stuff, but the way she answered me, she didn't ask me anything, just answered. I'm beginning to see your point, because I felt worse after talking to her, ironic huh!? I blocked her soon after. One question: Would you answer if she contacted you, lets say....by calling you?

Oh and hawaii 5-0, what happened when you began the no contact stage? Did she contact you ? Did it end well?

That's it. I've blocked her on my list, but couldn't delete her. A girl friend of mine says that while my ex and I are chating, she just answers my questions, she doesn't comment about anything, like an obligation to respond. It's really weird why she's acting like that when I'm supposedly the best man who treated her. I would like to know from girls why do you (not all of you, just the ones that appy to this) act like this? What do think when you don't see you ex (the dumpee) online, I mean during the no contact stage? Do you miss him? And if yes, after what amount of time have you started to miss him? If someone can answer it would be really great! I'm not critizing anyone, just want to clear some doubts

Man, this is just too hard. I mean, I went out with a friend of mine last nightm went to the movies, and then meet up with a friend of mine. We went to a dance club(which is a first for me ) I dance with with the I met up with. During all this time, you would think that I would be having the time of my life, that it would be distracting me from my ex, but damn! No! During the whole night I thought about her, in the club, after the club, even though I was with a friend of mine watching the sunset and talking about what had happened to me, I was still thinking about her! This is hell, I fricking miss her!! I have no wish to call her, but I try to go on, to have fun, going out with friends and stuff, but no, she is still in my mind! Frequently asking to God that He takes care of her!! Just a few moments ago I talked to her through msn, and her answers were quick and short, in middle of the conversation I asked her if she was busy because I could stop talking to her, she said "oh please xxxxx". I don't if she took the wrong way, or got a little angry or anything since I couldn't see her. But what I ask was true, I didn't ask her to that to find out what was she doing. A few minutes later she logged off almost suddenly. Sometimes her connection fails so I thought it was that, I hope. I can't believe how much I miss her! I pray to God to help me with this. I didn't do anything to deserve this! Especially to her!! No fights, just a relationship with good moments! Why do things like this happen to the best relationships?? And the troubled ones keep on going!? Where is the logic in all of this!? I know things happen for a reason, and I thought that my past relationships showed me a lot, but again?!, what do I have to learn now??

I do respect her for telling me, she could've told me when I told her about giving her time, but what the hell, it's over now. It's really unfair when you really love someone, I mean, really love someone and not get the same back. But during our whole relationship, i really felt loved, it was like nothing else. Today I thought about her a lot, man, I miss her so much. I'm just going day to day now.

Well, I contacted her because I was having this gut feeling that was telling me that I wasn't waiting for anything, that it was in vain. So after much consulting I contacted her and sure enough, it was in vain. ...aaaand I also found out that she didn't love me anymore, yep in a week it all went away, waooo!! But I wanted to end in a good way, I was angry at first of course, but I set things straight and told her that I still love her. She told me that she went through the exact same thing I was going through (with her ex), but I said to her that she could be comfortable that at least I really love/d her. I wished her the best after spilling my heart, and that's it. On a high note, I still miss her, a lot , but I have no wish to call her. So this is how it ended for me. I dunno if our paths will unite again, but if that happens, I will accept her, this was the best relationship I ever had. Did I do the right thing?? Take care everybody!

Yeah, you're pretty much right. Right now I'm just feeling better, of course, I still think about her, I do miss her, but when ever I think of her I also think on how it ended, on that high note. I'm so happy it ended like that, no bad moments, no bad anything! I still love her very much, because mine was real, hers well, apparently not. The hard days are here and stilll coming, I know that I have to be strong, but that's what I'm doing. Well, take care everybody!

Well here's my story, I posted first in the Break Up section and then the Getting Back Together section, but what I posted in each one had to do with the subject (just in case) 8) So, after 4 days of giving her spaces I started to feel weird, like I wasn't waiting for anything, like it was all in vain. I consulted my friends ( the ones who knew), and in this forum, but in the end they were all suggestions, every situation is different, what could've worked for one would've ruin another. On the fifth day I really couldn't take it anymore, becase if I was absolutely sure that I had a small glimmer of hope left, and wouldn't mind the waiting and the No Contact attitude, but something told me that i had to clear that out. During that night I talked to a Christian friend of mine that knew me through a friend, we liked each other for a while, but nothing grew out of that, I told her my situation and she told me that if I really felt I had to clear this, to do it! Because this maybe be a way from God to help (and that wouldn't surprise me since He really works in misterious ways). Well, I called at 9pm and left her a message saying what I wanted to talk about, nice and calm. Well, i waited, and waited, and she didn't call back. My friends were saying that if she didn't call that she was crazy not to! The next day she didn't have any classes, so I knew that she wasn't sleeping, I knew her pretty well. So, I called again at 12am, and she answered, she was with her friends at BK, and i asked if she had listen to the message I left her, she said yes but she was busy, I said ok no prob. I began by asking her if I there was still hope of going back together, because if there was any, i wouldn't mind the waiting at all 'cause it'll be worth it. She said that she already told me that there was no chance, that she wanted to be alone. I then said that in my last call, the one i said about giving her the space she wanted, I spoke very clearly about what I was doing and why, that i wanted her back but when she was ready, that I would wait for her, and that i spoke and picked carefully those words so that there wouldn't be any missunderstaing. She said that she thought I knew that i was truly over, and I said she should've told right then and there, because I spoke very clearly, because the last time she said anything about her decision was thay it wasn't final. I got angry and surprised at all of this since I was waiting for nothing!! My gut feeling was right!! I asked her if she still loved me, and she said that she didn't and I said but how?? in a week that love disappeared?! She was leaving in her friend's car to get hers, and her friend hung up the phone. I called a friend who was up to date on the situation and even she was surprised that i was waiting for nothing and she didn't told me anything! Well, we talked and I was waiting to give her one more call because I really wanted to get somethings out of my chest to feel better, nothing to make everything worse. Well, a half hour passed and I called, she was on her car, and we spoke, I told her very calmly that during all this time, I had my friend's support and that without them I really didn't how I how I would be feeling all this past days of waiting. I continued by saying that I feel much better because I haven't felt this good since a long time because I know that I didn't do anything wrong. I waited (for nothing) but I was true to my word, she said that the same thing that was happening to me happened to her with ex, I said ok, but it's over, and now you did it to me, but it's all in the past now. I almost started to cry when I began to say how wonderful and meaningful this relationship was to me, what she meant to me. That in the last couple of days we've went through hell, but if we didn't went through that we wouldn't got to where we were. I told her that i still loved her very much, that even though her ex didn't loved her, that she would at least feel good that she knew I love/d her! I told her that this was the best relationship I've had, and that I didn't hold any grudges at her, none! I wished her the best, and that if someday our paths united again, well, at least we knew each other a lot, so at least we had that part covered(that I know how, when to make her laugh, and when not to, for example) 8) . After spilling my heart ,I said goobye and goodnight. I really felt a sense of closure for the first time in a relationship. This was, without a doubt in my mind and in my heart, THE BEST relationship I've had, and her, the best girl that treated me right. Although she confused some feelings, I somehow sense that this was all necessary. I feel a whole lot better, I still miss her, but anyway, I got closure. I hope that this helps anyone that is in a similar situation. Take care everybody, and thanks to all of those who read and replied!! I welcome your opinions or thoughts on this!

Also, I don't know how can I make her want me. I've never been on a position that required me to do that. I'm just wondering.