al7
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Everything posted by al7
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Yes, it is just a part of shyness. But I am sure it is very crucial part. Why? By approaching girls you would: 1. Start talking to strangers 2. Talk to the opposite sex I am sure these are two top situations when we are shy. No doubt being busy sounds good. But when you take a rest from you busy life u r still shy. thereforeeee it is not a cure just to make life busy.... Talking about myself: I'd go if I knew about any gathering here. I go to malls about 2-3 times a week. Well.. I even didnt feel better. Thats good!!! But how to start Random convo? what should I start with? "Hi!...My name... mmm... Hmmm... RIght. Agree. But it is awfully hard to start random convo. Can you do it easily?
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I guess it might be right... By the way where do girls of your town go to meet guys? are there any specific favorite places?
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1. You know, if his approach works... you should not worry about if that is moral and smart or not. It works. If it doesnt, they guy just a fool I guess or got drunk and goofing around... 2. Man, you expect too much.... you smile to a girl and she is supposed to to what to you? Were you looking just for a smile? if yes, how many smiles you have given to girls that day? Maybe it is just a mattar of statistics: 3-7 smiles is not enough, but 10-20 would do it.
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I agree, it is good not to think or overthink and just say what u have in mind...sometimes it is really good. Do you know how not to think.. stop overthinking process? What did you do? I cannot just walk up and start chatting with female strangers...they'd make me red as a tomato and i'd feel like I'd be better not saying anything at all....
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You think? Don't think! Force it from your mouth before you have the chance and never look back! I think it is cool idea. I agree it is good thing: not to think. I'd defnitely try this one. Now comes the most hard and complex part: how not to think? I tried: 1. Alcohol. Bad due to bad smell and deteriorated driving skills... 2. Got angry...It is just as hard to do at any given moment as not ot think.. Your advice?
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You made an interesting point: right, women dislike (and some hate) to appear cynical, so they dislike that abovementioned concept as a cynical view... Just curious: would you be kind enough to provide your opinion regarding this idea - is it true for most guys and most women?
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Most 'd agree on that. So what's you point about shyness? How this concept would help up get rid of shyness?
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BAAAD exapmle. They do that b/c there's money on the line and most people will sell do things they wouldn't ever do if you dangle $$$ in their face (like women dating a guy who they think is ugly as long as he's rich). is dating a very different matter? Chicks digs looks and money. Guys digs only looks. Change "looks" to "money" and we have "Fear factor"..
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I got you. This is good way. THough since I dont know anyone who party... well...
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This is a very good point. I am confused about it myself. Look I want to get rid of shyness, I want to be able to approach girls. Altloguh something inside me keeps telling me: "Ha! You would feel so EMBARRASSED if you screw up... and to screw up is very likely that you'd better off standing here. You want to be alive, right? Stay!" What causes it - fear. What to do about it? I have no idea... so far.
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Gee, man if I would be able to take risk I woould definitely take it... I cant do it. OK, another image: you watch that Fear factor? ...hey you, 50 grand is wating for ya just eat these fresh.. well... (something nasty looking and smelling). Some folks quit. They cant take that tiny risk...and they do know it is not a poison or something. They just cant do it. (Fear!! They got the right name for it) But it is so easy to make them eat anything.. ha! I know how. Do some fasting for like 5-10 days and you'll eat anything. I tried that. Works very good.
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Ok, what r key words to look for? ....Fraternity meets at a bar? Drinking club? Binge contests? Mostly all event I saw on flyers are approved by somebody. So you can imagine if it just even smells with alcohol...they'd not allow to post it. Besides, we have funny rules here: you cannot drink on campus (they'll do somehting nasty to ya), but you can be drunk they wont tell you anything...
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Bungee is cool... very good example. So you know what it feels like... and what is behind your story - it would'be better if I just shut up and just do it? You bet. It would. Well.. but I am still here.. standing and not jumping..
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Man... we r talking again about right words and thininking right. What would possible happen to me if I just into that water? Lets say teh height is smaller like 20 feet. Nohting. Just maybe some pain. But it is scary thing to do anyway. So according to my subconscious fear (I feel it) yea my life depends on the approach...if I screw up it'd be like feeling I am dead. I just cant communicate with my fear or negotiate... it is fear... it doesnt understand words, but it does understand real life and its situations...
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I'd like to get some blind dates. Hmmm you have some? As a matter of fact I just dont know people here who r partiying or invite me. Besides I can drink a lot and it does affect me much cuz I dont enjoy drinking very much. So that's not my problem.
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Yeah, thats an idea... I recal I saw flyers.. about sorority parties and 2 years ago I saw somebody was setting up a drinking party.. at that time I didnt even think about going there since anyway they r drinkers what girls they'd be able to invite... Anyway, where do you find info regrding the parties? I go to uni, but most ppl just commute, not much is going on on campus.
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That's if he were to actually initiate conversation with her in the first place. I dont mind blind dates... since I dont have to approach anyone. I kind already know her even I really dont....hmm. Believe me or not, if you dont have enough of female friend you would not have many blind dates either (from my experience).
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Agree. And? What is the practical thing here? Imagine: you are on a huge n high cliff overlooking some lake. You know if you jump you'll experience... but the height is 100 feet and you r not sure if you can handle that at all. You just sty there on the top... thinking and shaking... Here comes somebody and says "Just do it". I'd not feel any more incentive to jump, would you?
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You r a girl and so ... unpractical It was not like a public speakaing class at all where all folks of aprox the same age, big group and sexes are distributed 50:50. No way, toastmasters were a tiny group with mostly old folks. Young ones r partying I guess
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I agree 100%. Parties r easy to get mingling experience. The things is I dont know really any one here who is partying... so I guess I'd resort to going out and just talk to chicks in malls, store, etc and that requires either some experience which I lack so far or lack of shyness...
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Sure, and how to get experience and make myself approach girls? I am still have to admit scared to do so.
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I don't get it? There's girls there, so you decided to quit? No, go where the girls are!!! That's how you get a girl. Sorry I thought you'd read my mind There were two women, one was young and married, the other one was maybe two times older than I was. I can find girls.. in my uni if you go to therapy or nursing/linguistic department buildings there are flocks of them But I am still kinda shy...thats the problem.
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I did some research about the ""Art of Mingling" book on link removed. Alas, most reader do not recommend it and they said why. Besides I've read some other book on this topic as well as about body language. By the way, I have no big problems holding a convo. It is ok. I cannot approach girls. Knees r shaking....
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I am sorry I dont see your point. If I dont get more experience by doing it why would I force myself into saying more Hellos? I guess I need a good kick instead I was talking about people at work.. I guess now you understand what I meant. They r just busy or pretend they r busy. Well work is work.. Hmm I was told "Study mingling" so is there a class? a club? a group? And.......Keep posting.. it is what makes life interesting
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Hmmm.. I am definitely agree the PS classes are extremely helpfull. But I am a lucky one who dont have much fear #1 in America. I can hold a convo, can read reactions of "audience" even if it is only one girl. But. I cant get that "audience" since my fear keeps telling me thats extremely awful to appoach girls I dont know with possibility of being laughed, getting blushed etc etc. You should believe me: I went to Toastmasters Club (basically - it is some kind of public speaking class) - I have no problem of speaking there. I just did see enough good chicks there. So I quit. But of course if anyone wants to get better public pseakign skills - I'd recommnd Toastmasters Club, Or any Public speaking class.