nfreeman

i dont know what to say. back in february i discovered that my then fiance had cheated on me once. we had a really rough time after that but i knew that i couldnt and didnt want to leave her. things just ended between us two weeks ago and im still quite upset by all of it. i go back and forth between thinking that it was my inability to trust her after february that ruined us and thinking that i should have taken what happened in february as a more serious sign of her inability to be faithful. i dont know which one it is but im in a lot of pain now. Nick

So the longest relationship I ever had just ended at the beginning of the month. I'm definitely not over her and if she called me up and said "take me back," I probably would, though I know it would be hard and I know it won't happen. Thing is, she's already moved on. She's already with another guy and, as much as that hurts me, it makes me wonder "would going out on some dates help me move on?" I honestly don't know. I feel like it wouldn't be completely honest with whomever I got out with but at the same time, maybe it's what I need to rebuild some confidence. Of course, the date(s) could go badly and I'd drop down even deeper in this hole and I don't even know how I'd go about finding a date anyway. Advice? Please?

I get what you guys are saying but I can't help the fact that I still love her. I know that she was interested in him for a while, but she was interested in me for a lot longer before that. I want her back. I'm rationally aware that that will almost assuredly not happen, but that doesn't mean I don't want it to. How could I ever be with someone else and not wonder "do I love you as much as I love her?" Will I ever be as close to someone else again? God, I hate this. Nick

I totally understand where you're coming from. My (god I can't believe I'm writing this) ex-fiance cheated on me once but we worked through it, or I thought we did. She just broke off the engagement after being together for almost 2 years and even though she's already with another guy, all I can think about is "how do I win her back?" Nick

We were together for just under two years and were engaged for about a year. I fell in love with her so fast and we poured our souls into each other. I think we reached a point where we were both too dependent on each other and when she started to, very healthily, move away from codependence, I started to lean on her more. She broke everything off on Dec. 3rd and has already started seeing someone else. I'm still madly in love with her, and as much as she has hurt me, I still want her back. I'm rationally aware that that won't happen, but I really wish it would. I miss her so much. I'd rather be with her and fighting constantly than feel the way I feel now. I still think of her as my baby and I don't want to move on, I dont want that to change. She says she's happier now and I'm glad, her happiness means so much to me, I just can't believe that this is over. I can't believe that I will never kiss her again, never hold her again. I want her to be the mother of my children. We came up with names for our children at one point. I can't help but look at the current situation and feel like my life is over. People keep telling me I need to take care of myself right now and take my mind off of her, but for christ's sake, how can I take care of myself when half of me is gone? Nick