bogahome4

I am in a similar situation...he left 3 weeks ago...called to tell me after a week it was over and that he would stop by that weekend to get his stuff...and we could be friends..i told him no that his stuff would be on the front porch as i did not want to see or talk to him...he did not pick it up and as of last Monday he has called everyday and left messages saying he wanted to come get his stuff and was it in the porch...I emailed his sister..whom he talks to daily..asking her to tell him that it is in the porch and he can get it while I am at work...He called last night and left a message saying he was tired of talking to my dumb machine and and demanded I call hinm and tell him when he can come get his stuff...I did not call..my daughter called and left him a message telling him it has been in the porch...that I am working on gettting over him...to not call anymore and just pick it up....this si the longest I have gone without calling him and begging him to come back..funny thing is all he has here is 2 shirts and a pair of pants...sweats....I sorta think he is mad that I am not calling...I have decided to bring his things to his mothers or to the bar he hangs out at...funny thing he is a truck driver and never calls when he is in town and able to pick it up..always when he is on the road...any incite?

Yashima, Let me sat that I am proud of you...In your last post you really made sense..i was with an emotionally abusive guy for 7 yrs..finally told him 3 weeks ago to call me when he had something nice to say...he called to say he was thru and wanted to be friends and would be over to get his stuff..I told him it would be in the porch..he agreed to pick it up that weekend 3 weeks ago, never did..so after 3 weeks of no caontact and my having time to rreflect and get angry...to stay sane...he left a message today asking me to call him so he can get his stuff..I would love to hear his voice but the abuse would be there..I believe he is shocked that I have not called and needs to hear me...LOL...once he did he would feel trapped again..so I am being strong...hurt for awile..to hear his voice..but I will not call and he knows his stuff is in the porch..just hope I am not home when he comes...hang in there.I can imagine the abuse you get is like mine and it is awful...my self esteem is below the ground....time to let go and heal

Mahlina...you put me on paper...scary but true....I spent 7 years trying to please a man who saw me when he had time...I borrowed him more money than I can count...I gave him money to go out..without me...he lived off me for years...cannot commit to buying a car...leases...works when he feels like it...and yes the cheating part is hard to concieve but I am sure he was...a liar manipulator..I found myself apologizing for everything...doubting him...well i finally decided to write him a letter ...guess what he left...he is mad and says I blew it...could you read the letter..do you think he could not take the truth?It has been 3 weeks and he is staying away...I am too...accept for a call to tell him my brother was in intensive care..and his response was so and hung up... I have always said you are so much your father...and that my fear was that I would become yopur mother...well i believe it has started to happen...you go your merry way and i sit home and wait for you to come home and wonder what your mood will be and how many demands you will make of me...yes...I play along and I feel myself feling less respected and loved every day. When i think of your mother sitting home every day at the table..waiting for your father...it makes me sad...she deserves so much more...a faithful, loving, giving man....who compliments her...respects her and loves her...I can honestly see why she is so unhappy...I feel it myself....I live it... And you can say it is my choice and that I can get out anytime...well keep it up and I guarantee I will...I desrve to be treated like a human being...not just someone to cook for you, do your laundry,,,cater to your every need...I cannot and will not give until I am given back to. Do not call me and ask what this BS is...you know it is true...not BS....think about how you treat me...I have no problem other than feeling used and unloved.....So do some thinking and call me when you have something nice to say.. I am hurting but now know he was using me...

I am interested in hearing from a CP why they would pursue the same person for 7 years...crying begging pleading...I am asking because i spent the first 5 years begging him to leave...then when he had me beaten to the ground...I agreed to work on a relationship...bad idea...as soon as he knew he had me he tortured me emotionally...lets just say that after I confronted him and told him not to call again til he had something nice to say...he has not called in 2 weeks...how can yyou leave so easily?

You are so right in saying that he doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you...RUN...I went through 7 years of this...He would pursue me catch me release me..then when he thought I was dating he was tight back saying that he was afraid that when he figured out he wanted me I would have moved on....and I had...then my brother died and he came back...I begged him to keep away as I was hurting and not in my right mind...well he pursued me...even proposed...moved back in and bammm...the commitment issues went from bad to worse..the emotional abuse...lying, staying away...I finally sent him the following letter...don't know how this happened but he has not talked to me since other than to say it is over the letter I have always said you are so much your father...and that my fear was that I would become yopur mother...well i believe it has started to happen...you go your merry way and i sit home and wait for you to come home and wonder what your mood will be and how many demands you will make of me...yes...I play along and I feel myself feling less respected and loved every day. When i think of your mother sitting home every day at the table..waiting for your father...it makes me sad...she deserves so much more...a faithful, loving, giving man....who compliments her...respects her and loves her...I can honestly see why she is so unhappy...I feel it myself....I live it... And you can say it is my choice and that I can get out anytime...well keep it up and I guarantee I will...I desrve to be treated like a human being...not just someone to cook for you, do your laundry,,,cater to your every need...I cannot and will not give until I am given back to. Do not call me and ask what this BS is...you know it is true...not BS....think about how you treat me...I have no problem other than feeling used and unloved.....So do some thinking and call me when you have something nice to say..over and he likes his life.. well I guess they don't like the truth...they don't want you they want you to want them... I am so hurt...even tho I know he will never change...my feelings are that he has found someone...never would admit it..but the signs were there...and the newness is there.... my best friend said he will change if he meets the right woman...hurts to hear anyway I do not want to see anyone staying for 7 years of this...