maninaredstealth

listen dude from what ive been hearing from the start is that she just went up to you and told you she had a new boyfriend. wouldnt that mean she cheated on you. after 2 years. i know if my ex of 3 years did that i would write her off the face of this earth. by you keeping in contact with her you are confusing yourself and holding back from moving on. and she is looking at you as a back up person. come on man quit talking to her and let her know what she did really hurt you. its a big world out there. i moved on from a hard break up, anyone can. Just meet new people. it helps the most. i tried talking to my ex alittle but it messed things up too bad emotionally for me and her. i cut things loose with no contact and now she is trying to contact me but i still ignore. i realized i am better off putting this person out of my life because all she was was a distraction. Use your own judgement. most of the time people answer thier own questions with out even knowing. just takes alot of self analyzing. good luck

wow man i feel for you. its strange cause i also went through something kind of similar like you. i was with my ex for 3 years. she suffered from depression. at first she hardly took her pills but later when she started to take them more things went alittle down hill. of course every relationship is different and in my case we fought way toooo much. besides that she never knew what she wanted. it hurts doesnt it. i thought she was the one. this dude at her work into our last year together started calling her. she says he was a friend. i believed her cause she and i are both social people. well they hardly and rarely talked. only at work. never on phone or text till the last month before we split he started callin. i called it on her and she said they were friends. believe me i saw this dude and he was nooooo threat at all so i didnt care. well we got into a big fight cause i had alittle of a jealousy problem and she wanted to take a week apart to sort things. fact of the matter is this guy planned this just like in your situation. 1 week after we split he made a pass at her and she fell for it. we talked afew times and she told some of her and my friends that she didnt know what she was doing and basically he was there at the right time. she wanted me around but knew that she couldnt and this dude just filled the space. lucky she didnt mess around with him cause she is smarter than that and didnt like him like that she said. anyway no offense to people with depression but they are hard to deal with. i was great to this girl. she no longer talks to this guy cause she still is not over me, even after 4 and a half months. i was sooo devastated at first i almost had a nervous break down. the reason she ended it was cause of the fighting and jelousy. i just gave her her space. you gotta keep with the cold turkey. just remember the hurt they caused you and have that be your fuel to move on. shure you can always love them but you are young, there are alot of fish out there. i didnt know what to do. you lose all your confidence after being with one person for so long. i tell ya. hook up with someone. some fresh blood. it helps. meet new friends. hang with more people that didnt know about you and her. that way its a clean start. i rarlely think of my ex now and when i do it doesnt hurt. just remember the good times. i am acutally thankfull for the break up cause i have accomplished alot more now. a new house, lots of new friends, new girls, more spending money to my self. there is more light out there. just think there is always someone else out there that has it worse than you. it was a hard obsticle to go over but i did and i know you can too. stick to your close friends. meet new people. meet new girls but only when your ready. stuff happens and it sucks. you question wy me but hey obviously it wasnt meant to be so there is still someone out there that is meant to be. feel free to get ahold of me if you wanna talk more.

for the most part i think so but it also depends on how serious you too were and how you guys ended. i was also the same way a month ago and still alittle bit now although she was the one who broke up with me, i have decided not to talk to her anymore. just keep busy is the main part and like ive always said. if you visualize a picture it can and may happen. with you not calling your ex back he may realize with in that time of silence that he does want to work things out. never know though. in the mean time keep busy, go out, even at times sit and think about the situation and what went wrong, why you would want it back. all in all just analyze the whole situation. you cant sit there and ponder the thought that he will come back because he may never, so just imagine the worst case and be prepared for it. read my post it might give some advice but i would also really like your opinion on the matter. its called " ex and i broke up and after 1 week she hooked up with someone" please read it and tell me your opinion. hope i helped.

i agree with confusedbloke. he probably just needs time and if he is really serious about poppin the question he will. other than that i know its tough but have patience. can you give me any advice on my topic? " ex and i broke up and after 1 week she hooked up with some one" any advice will help.

i feel that some people are attatched to that. that is alot of the time why people cheat or move on is because they lost that spark or drive. although on the other hand in a relationship that spark does die over time but that does not mean the couple still doesnt feel strongly. it takes comunication, and even new ideas but i believe that that feeling can be brought back if both really think its worth it. hope i helped. if possible can you read my post and tell me your view. the post is "ex and i broke and and 1 week later she hooked up with someone" i need advice.

honestly follow your heart. do not feel you are an evil person because you are feeling this way. you are doing the right thing as much as it doesnt feel like it. my ex a month ago did what she felt her heart told her and she told me the same guilt you are feeling. now in my heart i know i have to move on. its all about the feeling in the heart and not the brain. i dont think there is anything wrong with a short email letting him know that you didnt mean to hurt him but just that maybe you need time to still find yourself. it hurts but keep busy and even vent about it. i do that and it helps me. hope i helped and if you can can you read my post "ex and i broke up and 1 week later she hooked up with someone" please give me your view and advice..

i just read the article " no contact rule worked sort of". this dudes ex called back 3 months later and now he wants nothing to do with her cause she was in a 2 month relationthip with someone else. well in comparison to my situation. should i take my ex back in the future? although it was not as bad as his situation. what if my ex met someone else and had a relationship. we all move on at a point dont we and then start things over especially if we are younger. dont ya think. i dont know. read my above article and let me know please.... drew

i have talked to alot of people and afew counlors and they have all kinda agreed with what i wrote but it still hurts and i still felt it was soon. i know we are young but there is something about her that i know i want to be with her in my future. she has said the same. we have so close personal connections that i dont think anyone can fill. drew

alright heres the story. My ex and i were together 3 years. we were a great and unique couple that was madly in love. i am 22 and she is 20. well one problem was that we fought alot and she had very high insecurities and i had a jelousy problem. well we had prblems getting along through out the month of march. well i had a jelous our burst end of march and she said she needed a break to think. well half week later 1st week of april, she came over and said she wants to be with me but wants one more week to focus on our problems. normally she runs from problems. well that week later she came over crying telling me that that time alone gave her the time to think that she needs to focus on herself as a person and focus on her future. it hurt badly cause i never thought it would happen but it also wasnt a surprise cause she was depressed over her future for the past year. well the first week was hard and then i started to work on my self. on the flip there is this twerp at her work that has had a crush on her forever. he started calling her alot after we broke up. she is nieve to noticing when people are trying to move in on her. she thinks they are just being nice and a friend. last weekend of april her and her best friend and his family and her sister and his girl went to mexico. that sunday5/2/04 i went to a barbeque and was told by 2 old friends that she was hooking up with that twirp. this guy is not good looking at all and she stated that too so i didnt think it was true based on the source and that this guy has liked her forever. well 5/3/01 she came back and we met up. the first hour was wonderful, it was like we met again for the first time. she cryed afew times cause she missed me soo much, but what i heard was eatin at me so i had to ask. she then admitted that it was true. i was sooo crushed. turned out that a week after we broke up she was at a party, she was drunk and he kissed her. she felt horrible after for a week. this guy then continued to talk to her in her vulnerable state and she began to like his personality so they continued hooking up for a couple weeks. she said that she felt horrible and continued to talk about me but this guy helped her to not think of the hurt she was in. she said that she wasnt attracted to his looks but he made her laugh and took her mind off the negative. i know this guy was taking advantage of her vulneralbility. she has never been in anything serious and had no idea how to deal with the hurt. this guy jumped to that and she is blind to seeing it. well whats done is done and she said she felt horrible and still love me as much as before and likes this guy as only a friend and nothing else. she regreted it and does not like him in anyway but a friend. again i was crushed but forgave her. i know she was vulnerable and weak and didnt want to focus on the hurt so this guy made an easy way for her to not think about things. messed up i think. next day i hung out with her best friend and he told me all she did was talk about me in mexico how she wants to marry me down the road all that good stuff. she also told him also about this dude and how she is not attracted to him but he makes her laugh. well her best friend told her that she needs to get rid of him since she regrets it and she agreed. luckily all they did was kiss. she feels horrible about everything. i understand to an extent that we werent together and she didnt know what else to do but at the same time i felt it was too soon and she should have kept her guard up and what hurt the most was that it was more than afew times. whats done is done. well while i was with her best friend she called me crying telling me that she doesnt know why everyone thinks she is such a bad person for hooking up with this guy. she said that regardless we werent together and that she is going to take charge in the situation and tell him that she just likes him as a friend and does not want anyone. she then went off about how bad she feels toward me and knows that she has to have me in her future no matter what. i told her i am hurt now but i know she didnt mean to do anything intentionally. things that people dont expect happen unexpectedly sometimes. well, last night i made a decision that i need time to heal from the break up and this new news. she is a good clean girl and i never would have thought she would do this but i do know that she has been messed up in the head with all this. the decision i made and i told her this morning is to not talk to her anymore and for her to start working on herself and quit running away from the fears and saddness. i told her it helps to think of things so it can be fixed for us or just realizing things. she understood but was crying alot, i also said to please follow through with what she said that she was going to set this guy strait. that way i wont hurt anymore. i am going to focus on me and move on but if sometime down the road we do talk again then we will sort things out then. ill miss her but i need time to heal and she does too and to focus on our selves. sorry this was soo long but i wanted to let you know of all the details cause i really need some feed back on the situation, if what she did was not that big of a deal and if i handled things right. please give me any advice on this and feed back.. drew