sparky3941

Well the story goes like this. I met this guy at a speed dating event. We hit it off and went out a couple of times and things were good. We get along, we're both attracted to each other, but over the last 2 months, he's been pulling away because he says he's interested but he's confused because of the emotions he has tied into some of the things that he doesn't like about me. Those things are pretty superficial and he realizes it but he's still got problems with them. Anyway, everytime I try to pull back he snags me and reels me in. So, do I just accept that this is a very casual dating scenario or do I forget it and move on. I'm able to look past his faults but I'd rather not have to. Let me know if you need more info.

Well I'm going through the same thing right now. My ex broke up with me to be with someone else and then sort of came back when that didn't work and now wants to be friends while they try to figure out what they want. I wanted to try to work things out with them but then thought, there are other people out there that are more worthy of my attention and energy. Granted ours was a very messy break up with cheating and all that on their part but it still holds true for a less messy break. You are worthy of more than being used by someone because they don't know what they want. Let go and move on. That's what I've decided to do.

So, short recap, ex and I were together for 5 years. Then ex leaves for another person. Came back 2 weeks ago because things didn't work out with other person. Now wants to be friends. During this time, I found out that I had been suffering from Dysthimia disorder for the last 8 years. I'm now in therapy and on medication and things are going great for me. I'm a different person and feel wonderful. The Ex left because I wasn't there emotionally or physically. I now want us to see if we can work things out but Ex isn't sure that's what they want. Am I a fool for doing this, how should I proceed? Any suggestions or comments would be great. Ask any questions if I left anything out. Thanks.

Hey there, After just having my partner do pretty much the same thing (on a smaller scale) I would recommend getting out of that relationship and ending all contact. No matter if he says that he loves and cares about you, his actions tell you the truth. It will be very hard, I know I'm still dealing with it, but get out and don't have any contact and move on. You deserve better than that. Just keep your integrity and pride. I lost quite a bit trying to hold on to my partner, but have been gaining it back since I finally ended everything with him. It'll take time to heal but you'll be a better person for it in the long run.

Thank you for your advice. I'm doing exactly that, not putting my life on hold until he comes around. But I am working on that as well. Yeah he's been a jerk and yeah he's done some really hurtful things, but the fact of the matter is, If I don't give this every chance to work, I'll regret it. I know that we can make things work and they will but I'm not so sure that he's going to come back again. So I work on me and if he doesn't, then I'm a better person for the next relationship that I get into. I will say that I've lost 35lbs during all of this crap, the exercise has helped but the stress didn't hurt either.

I'm new here so bare with me. In Jan of this year my partner of 5 years decided that he wanted to separate, there was someone else. He was having an affair and now wanted things to be over with us. I convinced him to stay and work on things, well this went on until the end of Feb. with alot of fights, Lies, and him still carrying on with this other person. He wasn't working on anything with me. At the end of Feb. I told him it was over and that he should move. He did and 3 days later called and said that he had made a mistake and wanted to try again, but he couldn't sever contact with the OP. I stupidly said yes, that lasted 4 days. He then went back to the OP stateing he only came back out of guilt for what he had done and that he didn't really want to be with me. I severed all contact. 4 weeks later, I made contact to tell him that I wish him luck with everything and hope that things work out for him. I made my peace and was ready to move on. Two days later, he called wondering if we could work things out. Again, I said yes and thought that things could work, we started counseling. But 6 days later he said he needed time to figure out what he really wanted because he thought that maybe he was back with me out of guilt again. During this time, I talked with the OP and even gave them my blessing to have a good life together. Now my ex wants to be friends and he's persistent about it and the OP has told him that he doesn't want to jump back into their relationship until he knows for sure that my ex wants him and not me. Also, the OP is insistant that my ex and I remain friends. So, now I'm at the point where I want my ex back and I'm trying all the tricks to get him back but I'm wondering if it's futile to do this and he won't ever come back or if I just need to bide my time. He's actively persuing the OP and the OP is doing a really good job of winning him over. Any tips would be helpful as well or any scenario's that you may know of too. I've probably left alot of info out of this that will help you see it more clearly so just ask questions if you need. I appreciate your feedback.