HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS? I had sex with my best friend......

Hey all, I don't know what to do...I've been friends with this guy for about 4/5 years, but for about 3/4 years I was seeing someone else (we broke up a few weeks ago - its amicable, we both realised we should stay friends). Anyway, there's always been a very, very strong attraction between us and for a while our friendship didn't exist because he couldn't handle his feelings anymore....anyhow, long story short, we've become good friends again but the other night we got drunk and had sex.....I mean, we both wanted it, and it was amazing (wanting to do it for years can have that effect!) but there's a few problems....for one thing, he still hangs around the same group of boys/girls who my ex is close friends with (and thereforeeee we have to keep it a secret for fear of hurting our exes), another thing, I'm scared of falling for him because he's had such an effect on me the last few years but I've seen how he can break hearts (i'm terrified of losing my head over this guy)......and I've just come out of a long term relationship so I'm worried I'm not yet 'ready' and could be feeling what I do because I'm single??? I dunno, I've always loved him and been attracted to him, and he plays on my mind all the time, but I was with someone else so I always dismissed it....I mean I don't even know what he wants, I just know that I shouldn't let it happen again cos if anyone found out it would be disasterous...but what if I want it to happen again? I can't trust my own feelings.....do I talk to him about it? Or just not see him for a while??

look, if u like him and he likes u, alot... all u have to consider... is do it if hes worth it! ur exes shouldnt get jealous, u guys broke up, so it shouldnt matter... if u have feelings for this guy, then go for it! just talk it out w/ him, thats the best thing you could do! make sure u both feel the same way, that ur both willing to put ur friendship on the line... etc. and good luck

Think long and hard about it, give it some time, and when you are ready, try and talk to him and gauge his feelings. The thing about the exes is important - they can be unpredictable - and this could cause problems in friendship group. However, you will have to do what is right for the two of you.

Good luck.

G xx

Yeah you're both right, I'm just going to give it some time and if he calls me I'll just meet up for lunch or something and tell him I can't do that again, not at the moment....then in a few months if I still want to be with him then I want to do it properly....not a drunken one night stand!

And I know the exes shouldn't matter but the timing is just really bad....I want to stay friends with my ex if possible and this would destroy that idea if anyone found out.

Aaaaarrrrggghhh how can something so wrong have been so, so, SO good? I couldn't keep the smile off my face the day after, but thats now turned to uncertainty and confusion.

Advice to others - just don't go there