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Thread: Is there a communication problem

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    7

    Is there a communication problem

    Hey,

    My husband witheld information that he went out to lunch with a mutual friend, who is single and attractive.

    He was trying to match her up with his brother. He never told me about the "lunch engagement", that's what he called it. I found out about 2months later. I was very upset . It felt like trust was broken and I felt betrayed.

    We have been married 15 years and I thought we didn't keep things like this from each other. Did I over react? Is this a lie? or is this common among married men not to tell wife everythiing. Nothing happened, but it sure seem like it did.

    Any insight appreciated.

    techwife

  2. #2
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    4
    hi,
    well i always say go with your gut instinct. do you have any other reasons to believe hes been unfaithful? have you talked to him about how you are feeling? if hes not talking about it and if you want to know for sure, then ask the girl.

    if you dont have other reasons to believe hes been unfaithful, then you should believe him. do you have a good relationship? do yall communicate? do you get jealous easily? if so then maybe he didnt tell you because he didnt want to make more of it then it was.

    so is or has she gone out with the brother? has he said anything about it?
    maybe you should ask

    good luck,
    raven

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Posts
    7
    Yes, Raven I have talked to him about my feelings about this and he says it all created in my mind. I have been jealous in the past. Not really proud of it, but I believe we are married and there should not be any kind of witholding about friends the opposite sex. For him it is difficult to bring the subject about a woman approaching him. There have been many -some he told and some he did not and just happened to come about the information about it. "

    You said" maybe he didnt tell you because he didnt want to make more of it then it was" fine but the point of the matter is to just let the spouse know about it so it would not look like anything else.

    OK....

    She has gone out, emailed, talked on the phone with his brother but nothing came about. My husband was curious about her becasue she was 34 and single and attractive and not in a marriage. He was like the third party intervening on both sides. Ok, he tried to help , fine. But I found an email where she wrote that they should not write anymore emails becasue it didn't seem right. I asked him about it and said he didn't know what that meant. Even after that they still had some conversations. She even wrote that she "valued his friendship".

    I really want to trust in him so much, but there are other things that he kept from me, not to good to be mentioned here. Its hard, he feels I should have been over it and I can not forget it.


    So my advice to all women contemplaing marriage, is to contemplate a trustworthy relationship with their future husband in honesty. What many emotionals rollercoaster rides could have been avoided if married couples would let each other know what was going on with their friends of the oppostie sex. Married couples should be able to speack with opposite sex friends in front of each other without hesitation, not speak behind the spouses back. Beilieve me words and events will always be known to come out in the open, no matter how innocent.

    Ok Enough said. Hope this answers your questions raven.

    techwife


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