Nobody ever gets to me again

Five years

I was with my girlfriend for five years, roughly a fifth of my life. We both went through college together and were inseperable. She was a pretty good student, graduated with a biology degree. Cheerleader, involved in student groups and whatnot. I was also involved in student groups, played in a rock band, now I'm a pretty successful computer programmer. We had a good relationship, we were each each other's "first".

I was going to propose, I bought a ring. It was exactly what she wanted. I told my family and some friends. We were to move in together and I was going to give it to her that day. Only I had to go on a business trip the week before. That was not a fun business trip.

So I get the call, I'm on the other side of the country and I find out she does not want to date me anymore. She has met someone else. A guy she knew in high school. It is over. No explaination, no reason, never any indication anything was wrong. This came as just as much a surprise to all our friends as it did me.

Afterwards I found out she was unfaithful, she cheated on me with an ex boyfriend. She started hanging out with this new guy when I was writing out a check for the ring. She was not happy in the relationship for reasons still unexplained but she never let on. She intentionally hid it and appeared happy and excited, even good natured pestering about when she would get a ring. All because she wanted to make sure I would be available to fall back to in case she couldn't find someone else.

I never saw this. I was trusting. I have been burned so many times in the past that it felt good to finally think I found someone I could trust. I was wrong.

It has been five months, the shock and pain are long gone. The lessons aren't. I still feel no desire to ever start over again and go through all this. If five years is not long enough to know if you can trust someone, what is? Literally every time I have trusted someone it ended in pain, it is just easier to not trust. Right now I feel like I will never let anyone get to me again, never allow myself to be put into a position where I could be hurt. Love is good, but it sure does not seem to be worth this. Facing my family and friends after being so throughly humiliated and betrayed is not something I ever want to go through again.

Maybe it is just because I'm paying attention now but I see it all the time. Everyone around me seems to be breaking up, divorcing, etc. Betrayal, cheating, etc. I'm so throughly sickened by how people are treating each other that it all just looks like a sad game. A game I do not feel like playing any more.

mae155

Hi

i would only tell you, cliche as it sounds, to not lose faith in love. i can imagine how hard it must have been for you, i have been with my boyfriend for three years and we hope to get married someday, and the thought of him doing that to me is enough to get me brawling, but i honestly think shes not worth losing faith in love. ure right about the number of divorces and breakups and betrayals- and they seem to be increasing with time, but we both know how wonderful it can feel to be in love. and if it lasts its ULTIMATE bliss. Believing in love is definitely worth the try.

I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years - I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together but she didn't feel the same about me and then found someone else. This only happened last week and I also feel as though I never want to be hurt like this again. Your problems sound on a different scale to mine, the girl that hurt you obviously has problems and they will come around and bite her eventually - that's a promise. With regards to moving on, it's all very recent for me but I have been thinking back to past relationships, not the ending of those but the beginning. I know it's difficult to see past the strong emotions caused by the break-up, but if you remember what it's like to fall in love with someone at the start and all those good times that you have learning about each other and wanting to spend every moment of every day with that person then you may realise, as I think I have, that it's worth starting again. I don't believe that there is any one person that is a true love - I believe there are millions of people out there that could be your true love and if the last one passed you by then it's her loss move on to the next one (there's a lota love out there just waiting to be found ) I am going to take a break from relationships for a while, maybe a month, maybe a year - not sure yet... It's a new chapter of a very long book. Good luck.

I am honestly very sorry to hear about your terrible break-up. Spending 5 years of your life with someone.. is a long time. It is a shame that she was never faithful or true to you and to think that she mostly kept leading you on makes it even worst. All I can state and give you as advice is to let her go. That is all you can do is just let her go.. it will be a long time till you fully recover from it all, because right now you are looking at love and seeing that it is bad.

Trust me .. "true" love does not hurt. And "true" Love is not ment to hurt or bring you down. "true" love is suppose to make you happy and the outcome will not be like this one. Take what happened to you as a life experience. Take what you have been through and going through as a life lesson.

That nextime you do finally date again you will be more careful in choosing your partner. I know you are probably thinking that you never want to fall in love again or be with someone because you have seen all the bad sighns and things from it, but trust me it will be awhile but you will overcome that depression stage believe me all of us do .. it is just a matter of time.

Keep your faith up and don't let hope fall down. She is not worth all of this.. and Believe me she will get what is coming to her. Everyone gets what they deserve !!!!!

I hoped I help...

If you go to my webpage you can read about some of my experiences and drama I am going through. You are not alone!!