Unicorn261 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 My boyfriend walked out Friday after a minor argument is left the house come back and he’s taken all his stuff. Since then he’s ignored all my messages and phone calls, I was with him just over a year I have 2 daughter who he had a very good bond with my youngest loves him very much and he’s even ignored txt they’ve sent. I just think it’s cruel, he hasn’t taken any of the pics of us off his Facebook and he keeps watching my snapchat I just don’t get it do you think he’s playing games? Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Forget about social media and what he’s watching or not blocking, etc. Is the child his? If not, as jerky as it may be to walk out on you and the child, he doesn’t have any responsibility to the kid. I would give him time and stop contacting him for awhile, and hopefully he’ll come around. Has this happened before? Link to comment
bluecastle Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 How long were you together? What prompted the break up? Is it even a breakup? I'm really sorry this is happening. Stop leaving messages, stop calling. Whatever is going on, he's showing you, in a very immature way, that he doesn't have the capacity to deal with it. Right now I'd take note of that, and ask yourself, whatever happens, if you want to be with someone who handles conflict this way. As for the social media stuff: it means nothing. Or, more accurately, it means only what it is: that pics remain on FB, the snap stories are being watched. Don't infuse that with any grand meaning. It's not a game, it's just life in the modern world, one of these necessarily annoying and confusing facets of having lives that exist on screens. So, again, rather than ask what the story views mean ask a different question: Do you want to be engaging with someone where this is what passes for communication? Link to comment
BeenThereB4 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Why are you involving your children by having them send texts to this guy? You’re being cruel by doing that. He was just you’re boyfriend. He wasn’t their father. You shouldn’t be involving them in your dating relationships. Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 I was with him a year. My daughter isn’t his no. And yes he’s gone before and not spoke for about a week but he’s never ignored my daughter and has always answered my txts etc. He left because he caused an argument over nothing rung me shouting etc and because I didn’t go back straight away because of how he was going off Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 I wasn’t involving them my daughter has is number and sent the txt off her own back Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 I was with him a year. My daughter isn’t his no. And yes he’s gone before and not spoke for about a week but he’s never ignored my daughter and has always answered my txts etc. He left because he caused an argument over nothing rung me shouting etc and because I didn’t go back straight away because of how he was going off He should not be yelling at you at all or demanding you come back home. Be glad he’s gone. He sounds immature and a tad controlling. Don’t contact him. Link to comment
BeenThereB4 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 I wasn’t involving them my daughter has is number and sent the txt off her own back I hope you explained to her that it is not appropriate to be texting your boyfriend about his relationship with you. It seems like you allowed her to get too close, too fast to a mere boyfriend of yours. You said his things were gone. Was he living with you and your daughters? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Sorry to hear this. What was the breakup about? My boyfriend walked out Friday after a minor argument is left the house come back and he’s taken all his stuff. Since then he’s ignored all my messages and phone calls, I was with him just over a year Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 Yes I told her not to txt him I just explained he left an I didn’t think he was coming back as they was asking questions and was upset. The txt she sent said please come back I miss u. I’ve told her not to txt him anymore he wasn’t officially living with us but was here a lot of the time. I don’t think I let him get too close to them too soon either that’s just how the relationship progressed an he spent a lot of time with us Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 Basically I left to go and see a friend because he was going out for drinks with friends he texted asking where he would fone a towel I explained they was on top of dryer as I’d washed them. He went on a rant saying why arnt they on towel rail etc I said coz I’ve been tidying up after everyone all day and haven’t had chance he told me I chose to have kids and then said get them to help u more so I just said I’ll do what I’m doing he said do it on ur own I’ve gone n then rung shouting put phone down on me n then when he rung after that I didnt answer didn’t want the argument came home to see everything he has here gone an then nothing since Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Change your locks asap. He's abusive, entitled and treats you as if you are his maid/mother. Be glad he's gone. You need to delete and block him and all his people from all your and your daughter's devices, messaging apps and social media. He went on a rant saying why arnt they on towel rail etc. he told me I chose to have kids and then said get them to help u more. Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 4, 2019 Author Share Posted January 4, 2019 Thanks this is my next move Link to comment
Annia Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Change your locks asap. He's abusive, entitled and treats you as if you are his maid/mother. Be glad he's gone. You need to delete and block him and all his people from all your and your daughter's devices, messaging apps and social media. I subscribe to this! What a jerk! Be glad he's hopefully gone forever. Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 Basically I left to go and see a friend because he was going out for drinks with friends he texted asking where he would fone a towel I explained they was on top of dryer as I’d washed them. He went on a rant saying why arnt they on towel rail etc I said coz I’ve been tidying up after everyone all day and haven’t had chance he told me I chose to have kids and then said get them to help u more so I just said I’ll do what I’m doing he said do it on ur own I’ve gone n then rung shouting put phone down on me n then when he rung after that I didnt answer didn’t want the argument came home to see everything he has here gone an then nothing since For goodness sake! Please tell me you are leaving him. Please do not contact him or answer his calls if he calls you. Him leaving is the best thing that could happen to you. Block his calls. Does he have a key? Change the locks! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 How long did you date before he moved in? You should not be exposing your kids to this creep! Link to comment
Leah82 Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 He needs to grow up. I got sucked into the whole social media thinking when it came to my ex. It took a lot for me to realise that it means nothing. Look at the actions he is doing in person. These are red flags. Over towels? Wow. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 I wouldnt say this relationship is abusive but I would say its mutually toxic, fighting dirty, using kids as pawns, there are zero boundaries. Link to comment
Normm Posted January 5, 2019 Share Posted January 5, 2019 If that's exactly how it went down you need this guy out of your life. That much being said I can't help but wonder what he'd say he was so angry about if he was asked directly. I mean blowing up over a misplaced towel is bad enough, but packing up all his stuff and moving out because of it? Seems a bit of a reach. Link to comment
holymoseph Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 This may not be what you want to hear but what I've learned from my guy friends is that if a dude gets upset about something insignificant and then uses that to break up or abandon you then they were already on their way out they were just looking for an excuse. It wasn't about the towels. He didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. It probably has very little to do with you personally, he just isn't capable of being in a relationship. Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 He didn’t move in he just stayed at weekends. My girls met him after around 6 months but he seemed lovely at this point only been strange over last 3 months Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 My kids haven’t been used as pawns they had a good relationship with him my oldest has her own phone and had his number she txt him herself and after she told me I deleted his number out of her phone they just didn’t understand the situation and how he left with no explanation Link to comment
Unicorn261 Posted January 17, 2019 Author Share Posted January 17, 2019 I’ve had no contact with him since, I’ve explained to my girls that sometimes things just don’t work out and it’s no1s fault he has since seen my friend and told him we broke up over nothing imperticular just don’t get how someone can walk away from a year relationship over nothing imperticular without so much as putting closure on it but I’m feeling a lot better an have realised he couldn’t have cared that much to do that so I’m done with the all situation Link to comment
jenberry Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 I'm sorry this is happening to you. The fact he has left over something so ridiculous is..well, ridiculous. Take it as a sign that he is not meant to be with you. He is clearly not considerate or caring, nor does he have your or your children's best interests at heart if he leaves after something so futile and doesn't acknowledge you or them afterwards. Look after yourself, don't be in contact in ANY way shape or form. Build this as your boundary and do not let him in again, even if he comes back grovelling at some point which, given his behaviour, certainly seems likely. Link to comment
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