finding it hard to get over someone

Going to try ask my question in a generalised way as I don't want to get too specific.

Consider if a woman rejects a man. Would it be mean for the woman to immediately try and set the man up with a friend in the hope that the man would lose interest in the woman?

Would it be more considerate for the woman to ignore the man completely and remove herself from his life?

A hypothetical... There is a man you used to like but nothing ever happened because he is shy so you started a new relationship. They suddenly tell you they like you but you decide to reject them under the circumstances. You decide to try to set them up with a friend because it makes it easier for you to move on and lose any lingering feelings.

I am asking because I am the male in the scenario and trying to convince myself I need to get over her but she makes it harder than it needs to be. So I ask, why do women do this when it just makes the man feel worse. I get the feeling sometimes she knows it just hurts me more.

Personally I would find it patronising if I asked a guy out. They rejected me but was like "Hey, Mike is single how about you two date!"

As it would feel like you wasn't good enough for me but have the second best thing to me... My friend.

In other words I can't go out there myself and find my own person to date. As if I need "help".

Although that said it could be coming from a nice place her trying to set you up with someone.

I'm not really sure. Would be nice to see other people's views on this.

Yes it's tacky to offer up her friend as a pity date. Rejection is never easy but it's up to you to brush it off and move forward to other women. It's up to you to stop communicating with her and all her people. Block and delete her and all her people from your social media and messaging apps. She's in a relationship. Forget her and date better women.

started a new relationship. she makes it harder than it needs to be.

Going to try ask my question in a generalised way as I don't want to get too specific.

 

Consider if a woman rejects a man. Would it be mean for the woman to immediately try and set the man up with a friend in the hope that the man would lose interest in the woman?

 

Would it be more considerate for the woman to ignore the man completely and remove herself from his life?

 

A hypothetical... There is a man you used to like but nothing ever happened because he is shy so you started a new relationship. They suddenly tell you they like you but you decide to reject them under the circumstances. You decide to try to set them up with a friend because it makes it easier for you to move on and lose any lingering feelings.

 

 

I am asking because I am the male in the scenario and trying to convince myself I need to get over her but she makes it harder than it needs to be. So I ask, why do women do this when it just makes the man feel worse. I get the feeling sometimes she knows it just hurts me more.

There can be many reasons. It could be that her friend said she liked you first and the girl you liked was making sure she isn't ignoring her friend's feelings. It could be that she actually does like you and is offering her friend in case her current relationship doesn't work out. Then she has her friend dating you and knows where you are and who you're with and has an excuse to see you. She may even have enough sway with her friend to her her break up with you. It could be that she really doesn't like you but her friend is having a hard time getting hits. So she tries to forward on the offer to her friend in order to help her out.

It's probably one of those reasons or one I haven't thought of but during rejection people feel bad and kinda think up of negative reasons like the ones you just thought of. There is no thought in her head that she's doing it to hurt you more. Just like if a girl you didn't like came up to you and you tried forwarding her to your friend. Your hope would be that sure you don't like her but maybe the rejection is less because the girl gets a different guy that it may work out with. You're not thinking to actually hurt the girl that asked you, if you don't like her you don't care enough to think to do that.

you started a new relationship. They suddenly tell you

You asked her out while she's in a relationship? That kind of makes all else irrelevant, doesn't it?

You put her in an awkward spot, and she responded ... awkwardly.

I wouldn't internalize it too much, or you'll talk yourself into a deeper hole to climb out of. Take the lesson, instead. Next time choose your person and your moment more appropriately.