We're really over

I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and I'm having trouble coping. Ive known him for four years. We were really casual friends up until the 3rd when we became intimate for the first time. That didn't last long because he ended up giving me an sti and I found out he was having sex with a lot of people and taping it. I didn't see him in 6 months but I mistakenly still let him text and call me and he apologized over and over. In that same time frame I started to talk to someone from my past and that ended when they found out about each and it almost got physical. I listened to someone at my job about forgiving people and relationships still being able to work so I decided I could just be his friend after everything. I just talked to him about work and his issues. Eventually I started helping him do things and he started flirting with me. I told him I wasn't going to share him with anyone and he agreed to it and we were officially together. I was still afraid and hesitant but it was nice in the beginning. I let him live with me because he was going through some things and it was temporary. My home is far from where he's from so I got him a job in my area. We started having sex again and it was fine but he wanted me to be more comfortable with oral. I told him it was hard for me because I saw the videos of him and that's all I saw. I was really trying to put it out of my mind. I wanted to have sex more but it seemed like it was always up to him.Also I started having issues after we had sex. I would get yeast infections after each session which kept me at the gyn. I asked him to go get checked so we could figure out the issue and he agreed but never went. The last time we had sex was about three weeks before we ended because I felt another infection coming then I got my period and the last week I was just angry. He had problems with male friends contacting me. I wasn't interested in any. One old co-worker expressed interest in me but I told him I had a boyfriend and he understood. Other guys would only text me because they knew we were together and I told him it meant nothing because these people almost never talked to me. He wanted me to block them but I didn't think it was that serious. I realized he was partially right because a few because disrespectful and violent so I did block people. I wanted him to be comfortable because when he was mad he would give me the silent treatment. He had female friends and I told him I was fine with it as long as they didn't have a sexual past because I felt like he had problems with permanently ending situations. Random girls would text him often and he told me it was nothing and they weren't aware he was in a relationship. On his Instagram he would have girls contact him but certain conversations he would always delete it saying he didn't need it. He went on a family vacation and he added his Instagram to my phone and I was just curious and looked at his messages and one girl was saying they had bad sex and they should try again and he basically agreed. He told me it was a joke and I don't find that funny. Also it was a time that he thought I was talking to a guy in my phone and he added a dating site on his phone knowing I would see the notifications in passing. That really bothered me I almost left him that time because it's so childish. What ended up was when I got an email from my kik account saying I had pending messages. I don't have kik installed so I installed it to look but I deleted it because I didn't want any issues. He would stay up playing video games while I was asleep a lot but lately he would do it more and more. I looked at his phone for the time and another dating site was installed. I was furious and decided to tell him about it. I told him I was unhappy with his actions and I'm not going to stay with him while he trys to date other people. He said I was right and just offered to sleep away from me. Not sorry I'll stop or anything so I ended it. He came home from work after me and didn't want to talk at all that night or the next day. I went out to clear my head and he was still in bed. Apparently while I was gone he spoke to my mom and told her how much he loved me and wanted to work things out. When I got home he was getting his things together and wanted to talk to me but I felt slighted that he didn't before and by how he spoke to me. He just had a bag and said he'd be back. I wasn't sure if he was leaving I really didn't mean what I said I just wanted him to work with me. He came back two days later and just started getting ready for work. I asked him where he was and how he got there. He told me his home town and his ex offered to pick him up. This really hurt me and I told him to get his stuff and have her come and get him. He later told me that he had sex with her as well. I feel terrible I had to mess up his situation. I just wanted him to talk to me. It's really frustrating I can't even ask him about who he talks to without him accusing me of talking to other guys. I feel really lonely I'm pretty shy and it took me so long to be comfortable with someone. What did I do wrong ?

What you did wrong was trust someone who you already knew was a liar and a cheater.

 

Please get a full STD workup asap.

Well this relationship has always been toxic and he takes most of the blame for that. Why did you put up with it? Why did it get to the point you are blaming yourself?

Well this relationship has always been toxic and he takes most of the blame for that. Why did you put up with it? Why did it get to the point you are blaming yourself?

I want to take responsibility if I was really in the wrong. I know I had no bad intentions. This was a big disagreement we had but I thought it was different for me because I set boundaries with people and I don't think he does. It just seemed like he didn't want me in contact with anyone. I believed he loved me and he would stop.