Could I ever overcome the past?

Hi Everyone,

So I’ve been going out with my boyfriend Adam for about 7 months and in this time we grew really close, we have a great relationship and we even moved in together a few months ago.

I only came out of a quite serious relationship a couple of weeks before meeting Adam but that relationship was over for a long time – it just took us both a while to actually end it.

I am completely over my ex-boyfriend and have no feelings for him as I want a future with Adam and he says he wants one with me too.

Only issue is, when we first started talking I noticed he was ‘liking’ his ex-girlfriends Instagram pictures even though they broke up mid 2016… i told him about it and he immediately unfollowed her and stopped doing it - when i asked him why he did it he said he didn't know and he was just being stupid. also, when we were first together he also told me she tried messaging him but he told her he was with me.

Also, a couple of months into the relationship – we were arguing in the car and he accidentally called me by her name.

I was so hurt by this and I still am, he says he doesn’t have any feelings for her anymore but I just don’t understand why he would still be liking her pictures up to when we got together and also why he called me her name?

We also look nothing alike and I look nothing like his previous exes before her.

I think I am so insecure about this because my ex-boyfriend always told me he was over his ex and they broke up about a year before me and him got together and it turned out they were messaging the whole time we were together and he even admitted to me at the end of our relationship he was still in love with her.

Adam and my ex-boyfriend are nothing alike but I am so scared to be hurt again.

Any advice is welcome

Hmm. Well, it's normal for an ex to have feelings for a past girlfriend. It doesn't sound like he was doing anything more than liking her photos. And it's normal for someone in an argument to call their partner by a previous partner's name. The way our brains file information, both names are in the "girlfriend" file and a fight can trigger the use of the other girlfriend's name. You're being much too sensitive and you can wind up pushing a boyfriend away if you're constantly doing a ex-girlfriend check of his life.

I would ask what the argument was about. The reason of the fight might reveal more about how the relationship is going than him simply calling you by the other girl's name.

Sorry to hear this. Way too much way too soon. Neither of you are ready to date no less move in together after a few months. What was the rush? Did you move into his place he shared with his gf?

All you can do is back way up and realize he still has feelings for her no matter what he tells t you and now will find better ways than social media to stay in touch with her. What was the argument about where he called you her name?

7 months and moved in together a few months ago. I only came out of a quite serious relationship a couple of weeks before meeting Adam – we were arguing in the car and he accidentally called me by her name.

we moved into his parents house as I really get on with his parents.

we were arguing about me wanting to go home and him wanting me to stay at his house as we were out clubbing with friends that night and he argued with one of my friends so I was in a bit of a mood (note this was before we lived together)

Is this guy angry all the time? That might be a bigger problem than him just calling you by his ex's name.

You need to move back to your place/your parents. He and his family and his ex are everywhere and you are just something new for a few months. He has no respect for you because you desperately jumped to move to his parents house with him after a few months. Where is his ex now?

we moved into his parents house

Him and his ex broke up about a year before me and him but kept going back and forth... ended on mutual terms but she lives 100 miles away but sometimes comes to our town as she is family friends with his best friend

no he's always calm he is genuinely the most thoughtful and down to earth person you'll ever meet

Did you move straight from your old bf's place to your new bf's family's house? Unfortunately you are Not over your old bf if you are scrutinizing and punishing your new bf for the old bf still being in love with his ex, etc.

I only came out of a quite serious relationship a couple of weeks before meeting Adam but that relationship was over for a long time – it just took us both a while to actually end it.