Pursuing this girl for over a year...

So I've been pursuing this girl for over a year now. We spend a lot of time together watching movies, taking trips, going shopping, meeting for dinners etc. yet it seems I have been in the friend-zone for a long time. The best thing I felt I should do is to come out clean and tell her how I feel and try to be the "best me" to impress and woo her. She is aware of my feelings and we have had honest conversations about "us" and she feels she is not ready for a relationship. She puts majority of her reasoning on her past relationship which ended on a bitter note 2 years ago where the guy was abusive and completely changed her life for the worse. I've personally seen that its taken her a long time to recover.

On the other hand, I have done all in my power to first, be a good friend and show her my feelings are not temporary and I would like to be in a relationship with her. But after all this time, she considers me to be a very good friend, someone she respects a lot and she see's all the qualities of her future husband in me but at this time, she isn't ready for a relationship.

The hardest thing here is that whenever we do have these honest conversations, the door is never completely shut. There is always this "we are getting to know each other" and "I do think about us" and "maybe it will happen but I don't want to be selfish and keep you away from other people". What should I do? My gut tells me it will happen eventually but should I stick around? After a year of pursuing her it is getting more and more difficult to spend time with her and realizing the feelings are one-sided. Or should I accept our friendship for what it is and move on?

Thank you for reading this and I appreciate all your responses.

I get your frustration, but you can't expect her to share your feelings on your terms or when you want it. If she is coming out of an abusive relationship, then getting back into another relationship is going to be a difficult thing for her; more difficult than most people. Looks like you've been pretty good for her to this point and maybe that's what she needs or is looking for right now. If you are having a hard time dealing with the one-sidedness of it then maybe you should think about other options. But if you think this girl is worth it then maybe a little more patience couldn't hurt.

You need to go out with other women.

That's a long time to pursue one woman and it's only you that is getting hurt. Ive seen this with friends of mine, girl is incredibly close with them but not ready because they've been hurt, when in reality they're dating other people are pursuing someone else themselves it's just nice to know someone likes them.

Be honest and just say you need a break for a few months because being friends is too hard for you, if she gets angry about that tell her that's her choice, you were nice about it so screw her! but look after yourself, don't waste your life on someone who doesn't want to be with you

Google "The Friends Ladder" and hopefully it will convince you to stop seeing this girl altogether and let her start pursuing you.

*Ignore the sexist overtones and just take in the actual message when you are reading.

You give this girl absolutely NO reason to commit to you when she's getting all your attention and a good companion who dotes on her. Stop that and hopefully things will turn around for you when she stops to ponder why you're not chasing her anymore.

Don't play a game, just actually get down off the friends ladder and get on with your life without her in it. She's using you right now either on purpose or sub-consciously. Don't let her anymore.

Don't even tell her that you're backing off... just back off and do the fade. Let her do ALL OF THE PURSUING and try to be too busy to say yes once in a while should she actually invite you to hang.

Google "The Friends Ladder" and hopefully it will convince you to stop seeing this girl altogether and let her start pursuing you.

 

*Ignore the sexist overtones and just take in the actual message when you are reading.

 

You give this girl absolutely NO reason to commit to you when she's getting all your attention and a good companion who dotes on her. Stop that and hopefully things will turn around for you when she stops to ponder why you're not chasing her anymore.

 

Don't play a game, just actually get down off the friends ladder and get on with your life without her in it. She's using you right now either on purpose or sub-consciously. Don't let her anymore.

 

Don't even tell her that you're backing off... just back off and do the fade. Let her do ALL OF THE PURSUING and try to be too busy to say yes once in a while should she actually invite you to hang.

This is absolutely the way to go. It feels counter-intuitive but you need to stop chasing. She's getting the milk without having to buy the cow. Try and stop fixating on her (I know, it's hard!) but get back into your own hobbies and start going out. Work on yourself and be genuinely too busy to see her whenever she calls.

No hour long phone conversations, no all day texting marathons. When she calls, keep it short and fun, but arrange to meet up in a few days...when you're less busy!

Don't try and act like a douche, just be less of a pleaser.