Confused Break up after 4 years

My boyfriend of 4 years and I have broken up. He still lives with me because he has nowhere to go. When I caught him on dating sites he got very upset with me and wouldn't talk to me. We both decided to break up. Now he's very cordial. He eats the food that I buy, the food that I cook, and acts as if nothing is wrong. We no longer kiss, hug or say I love you but he's sleeping in the same bed. He even called me on the way home from work and asked if I wanted him to bring me some take out. I still love him and not sure if he has decided to stay or if he still wants to be broken up. Would he be acting this way if he really wanted the relationship over? I even mentioned I had a problem with my car and he immediately volunteered to take it on his day off and fix it. And also volunteered to get it cleaned. We have plans at a friends house for thanksgiving and he is talking about what he is going to bring. He tells me all about his day and we always walk the dogs together. I guess what I want to know is how can I tell if he might want to work it out, if I'm being used, or does he just want to be friends?

Only real way is to ask the hard question and be ready for any kind of an answer, including one you don't want to hear. What you don't want to do is get lulled into thinking that things are going back to normal and your relationship will continue only to one day get blindsided with finding out he has met someone else and is moving out. It will hurt so much worse if that happens.

Basically, you need to talk about what you want to do and make sure you are both on the same page about it. If it turns out that he is just being friendly, you really do need to draw boundaries, stop sharing a bed and discuss his plans to move out asap. If you want to work on your relationship, both of you need to come clean with all the issues and a constructive plan on how to sort them out so you can be happy together going forward.

Whatever you do, please don't continue in this weird limbo.

@dancingfool thank you!

he's probably just using you b/c he has nowhere to stay. I know you care for him but I'm just being brutally honest. if he loved you, you would be together, plain and simple. that's the bottom line. don't over analyze. if I like a girl, I'll be with them. if not, I won't. more than likely, he's just being on your good side until he has a place to stay. then he'll move out, find another girl and you'll be left wondering why the f*ck you let him stay at your place. good luck.