Advice needed. Am I losing time, or giving this a chance?

Hi! I’m a 36 yr old lady, I’m back to the dating scene after a 13yr old relationship which ended few years back. Am realizing I’m somewhat confused by all the game playing in the dating area nowadays. Please help with advice!

I met this young man, my age, after he connected with me through Linked In. We exchanged messages and text for a week before the first date. The connection seemed exhilarating and I agreed to meet him.

The date was beautiful. He treated me to a very, very expensive dinner, with drinks before and after. We did kiss after the dinner. The conversation was so engaging. We couldn’t stop talking and it seemed like the connection was extraordinary.

At the end, when dropping me home he did suggest to go “upstairs”, but I declined. Things ended beautifully nevertheless. After that he kept in touch pretty much on daily basis by text and hinted on getting together again. Around 5 days after the date he suddenly started saying work is busy and that’s how it’s going to be for a while. Still continuing the daily, fun texts. By the 8th day, he disappeared for 3 days. I sent a quick “hey” to check on and we texted again back and forth for two days. Last time he even said the first date was great and we should do it again sometime! But he didn’t set a firm time, or anything. Just let’s do it again when we’re both less busy.... He now disappeared for two days again.

Meanwhile, it’s literally two weeks since the first meeting and I’m starting to believe that he didn’t like me, or he is not into me. Not sure what to think.

By text he is charming, engaging, intelligent, makes an effort to seem like a good guy. Says he always works (he’s a doctor). I completely respect the demanding schedule and the commitment of this profession, but then there is also the chance he is just playing with me.

He is my age, 36. We’re both originally from Europe.

Please let me know your take on the situation. Thank you!

It's hard to say. Perhaps yes, after the one date he didn't feel that connection the way you did. Or perhaps he is just stupidly busy, dating someone else as well, or a bunch of other things.

There has been only the one date and while you have chatted via text since, it doesn't mean anything more should happen. I would suggest just getting on with your life, text him if you want to, but don't act like it is going somewhere until it goes somewhere. Lower your expectations and perhaps even go on a date with someone else.

Hard to say if he's really just busy and not great at dating or he could be dating other women.

One of my ex is a doctor so I'm familiar with busy schedules, associate dinners, plus on-calls.

However, based on personal experience, if a man really really like you I think he'd make an effort (especially in the courting period).

He'd make time to see you or try to actually schedule and plan a concrete date. And when he's so busy to the point we can't meet for awhile, he'd not just "disappear".

I think you can also see other options. Try to date some other people, enjoy yourself, participate more in social activities. It's better to not put all your eggs in one basket and wait for just that one guy unless you both ready to commit.

One of my ex is a doctor so I'm familiar with busy schedules, associate dinners, plus on-calls.

However, based on personal experience, if a man really really like you I think he'd make an effort (especially in the courting period).

He'd make time to see you or try to actually schedule and plan a concrete date. And when he's so busy to the point we can't meet for awhile, he'd not just "disappear".

 

I think you can also see other options. Try to date some other people, enjoy yourself, participate more in social activities. It's better to not put all your eggs in one basket and wait for just that one guy unless you both ready to commit.

 

If a man/ woman wants you he/ she will move heaven and earth to get you. Move on.