How to go about with self victimized disorder sister

First thing first, I am not a medical professional of any kind so even though the title of this includes self victimized disorder doesn't necessarily mean I am correct in my opinion. But it does give you an idea of what I am writing about.

I have an older half sister (same dad different mom) that is in her early 30's. She's got a family of her own consisting of 5 children and her husband (couple different father's for the children). The all live in the basement of my mother's house who has been widowed for about 5 years now.

My mother and sister (just going to refer as sister for now) have never gotten along. You see, my mother is my father's second wife and both are 1st generation Asian Americans. My parents were married when my sister was about 8 years old. Those two had a typical step mother, step daughter complex all through out my life. They have a pretty bad history together with my mom wanting my sister in the picture as little as possible and my sister being a complete rebel.

Growing up, my sister has a bad habit of holding on to grudges like no one's business. She would always, always bring up her past about how my mother wronged her as a child and how my mother is still out to get her.

My mom converted to Christianity over a decade ago and has since then changed for the better and I can clearly see it. She's been kinder, more patient, and much more happy. While I do not share the same religious beliefs as her I am happy she has friends from the church that keep her company and take care of her when I cannot.

Anyway, my sister always tends to see that bad in my mom. She always manages to pick out the bad details and explode them into ridiculous proportions. My mom has co-signed for a car for her. Lent her money, babysat her kids, cooked for her, bought groceries for her, my mother let her move back into her house when my sister had no where to go, the list goes on.

My sister takes, takes, and takes and never gives but my mom is too passive to do or say anything about it so she relieves her stress by complaining about it to me.

Recently, things have gotten worse. About 2 months ago my mom was sent to the ER from work. She was pretty stressed out and almost collapsed at work. I got the call just 30 minutes before I had to leave for work and so I asked my sister if she could go pick my mom up knowing my sis wash;t doing anything at the time. I decided to test things a bit and added that if the distance was too far I would go and just call in late for work. She told me to go instead.

My mom wasn't able to go back to work for almost a month and during that time my sister would cuss her out for the smallest things, scream at her, and talk back. She says all my mom wants is money from her which isn't true. My mom nags her about money because my sister doesn't pay rent on time or her kids are up using the electricity all night and the bill sky rockets so she asks for a few more dollars to help pay the difference.

Last I saw my mom's check she was making a little over $12 an hour and was paying everything herself.

Jeez, I ended up ranting. Okay let me close this up.

My sister is stressing the f*ck out of my mom by being this ungrateful b*tch in her own home. I've had enough of her childish tantrums and I want things to stop or change for the sake of my mom's health.

How should I confront my sister about it without feeding the fire? Should I persuade my mom into kicking her out?

I rage internally whenever I think about this. I really just want to slap her and tell her to grow up... Should I? Jk, but for real. What, when, how?

Your mother is the problem. She needs to throw your sister out. She is allowing her to walk all over her and take advantage.

Stop enabling your mother by sympathizing with her, and tell her to get them out! You sister needs to grow up!

I cannot believe that seven people can live in a basement. Does the sister or husband work? has she heard of birth control?

And I’ve told my mom countless times to kick her out but she keeps saying she feels sorry for the kids and doesn’t want them to be homeless. No matter how many times I’ve told her to stop being so passive she brushes me off and says she’ll handle it. I’ve stop trying to give her input since then. You think I should push her into kicking her out?

It’s more like 6 people cause one of her daughters stays with her dad but yeah, still. They both work but they are ALWAYS in and out of jobs. I don’t even know where they find the money to pay for what little utilities that they do pay for.

I’m just at a loss with both ends and am wondering if I should even bother with it anymore.