Depression anxiety ex boyfriend

ex boyfriend and I broke up about 4 yrs ago back due to distance. We dated for about 9 months. He moved to England and I stayed in the Australia. He suffers from depression and anxiety. I should also point out he developed a cocaine addiction when he moved, and he's never told me that he loves me. We talk on and off, and it's either really good or really bad (like we don't talk for weeks).A few months ago he lost his job and was super stressed so I decided to surprise him with a visit, and things did not go well. He was amazing the first few days, but after that is all went downhill. It's like he shut down and wouldn't even talk to me and pretended it was normal. I've never felt so invisible in all my life. I asked him why he shut me out and he went off on me and told me he didn't want me there, and how he didn't ask me to come. It threw me off bc a month earlier, he said he wanted tosee me soon , and that he misses me and wishes I was sleeping next to him blah blah blah. I rode out the next few weeks and then came home . We haven't texted or anything since I've been back. It's been a month. I don't know what to do I cry myself to sleep every night, even when I visited him. Any advise ?? I want to be there for him bc I love him so much but I don't want to be hurt more than I already am. Should I talk to him or just move on ? I haven't been able to move on from him in 4 years, I've never loved someone this mucH

You should stop all contact with him and start the process to accept that he is not a good partner for you. You are wasting good dating years on a man that is indifferent to you but has some sadistic streak in him that tells you crap you want to hear when he doesn't mean any of it.

He's got a mental disorder and you're sorely codependent. Save your plane ticket money and put it towards a good therapist that will help you to rehab from your addiction to him.

You are currently going through the pain of withdrawl. In time, you will overcome that pain and you'll go on to be open in heart and mind enough to date someone who actually wants to be with you. However, if you keep allowing him to contact you with his BS, you will be in withdrawl pain indefinitely. You can't quit smoking if you keep having a drag off of a cigarette.

You can "be there" for him. He doesn't want you near him so get that thought out of your head. Zero contact now. Pretend he died if that is what you have to do to keep yourself out of his life for good. Love yourself enough to do that.

Why in the world do you continue with this guy? What in the hell do you get from this dysfunction. You have been broken up four years and are still holding on to this? How long did you date?

Move on with your life!!! I would also suggest counseling. Address your co dependency.

Go NC. Block and delete!

It's been really hard but I haven't talked to him. We dated for 9 months but we were constantly together. Everyone around him said he was better when I was with him. I really thought we had something. I've never even heard of the word codependent and it describes me exactly. I'm reading about it now and trying to better myself.Thank you guys