Do I sound stupid???

Hello Guys, I hope you'll spare some minutes to give me an advice!

So, I've been on and off with my ex for the past 4years now.. he was my second bf and when we met I had come out of an abusive relationship, but he was just too immature to handle what we had (disappearing, always broke etc).

We ended up splitting, but soon he came back to me asking me to get back together. I was already with another bf, whom I am still with. (We've been together for the past 3 years). The thing is, I simply cannot imagine another person to be my husband. I am still so in love with him and all three three years I couldn't hold myself from speaking and meeting with him (platonically always, except once that we kissed). Whenever I am stressed, drunk 😵 or I have an argument with my bf I call him. However, I've been so afraid of coming back with him, because I believe he is a player.

Recently, I met with him and I found out that he has a gf and he is a changed man. Now, he talks to this girl a lot on the phone and he kept saying to me 'this could be us if you had let it.' This is the moment that woke me up. I can't afford to lose him, but I can't blame him because I did the same to him..

Yesterday he told me that he will break up with this girl as she is nowhere near me. He told me that his family loves me and that I can be such a good wife and a gf too, but he needs time to separate from her. This is similarly as how he waited for three years to see what is going on with my current bf.

I said that I will give him a whole year so we can both come fresh and hopefully make things work. My worry is obviously that he may not keep his promis, even go stronger with the girl he is wth ATM etc ..

The way I feel about him; I wouldn't mind waiting for years to have him by my side. He is the only man I have fallen for and not I am not a kid.. I am 25 unfortunately! But I kindda believe that things do not always evolve early in life.. but when both people are ready. Tell me.. do I sound stupid guys believing that he is the one?? Also, was it foolish to say we shouldn't keep any contact for this 1 year?

Finally, what am I going to do with my bf now? How to tell him that I'm not in love with him?

P.S. On the last message he sent me he said that 'you are special to me and you will always be in my heart and mind x'. Don't know why, but I felt like sharing it with you

HelloP.S. On the last message he sent me he said that 'you are special to me and you will always be in my heart and mind x'. Don't know why, but I felt like sharing it with you

That is so sweet! I would be wondering why all of a sudden he decided to change his mind and text you. He is kind of with her now and making moves on you? I dk it could be a red flag or something. Tread carefully.

You need to break up with your current bf.

You are correct in breaking up with your current partner if you don't love him and don't see a future with him. It's honestly to bad you never gave your current boyfriend a chance. Always keeping this other guy around to lean on emotionally while he gave you attention. But you don't know your ex. You only lean on him. You don't know how living with him, or actually being with him will be like? You are acting out of jealousy and loss (of an imaginary relationship) instead of love. That is horrible footing to start a relationship on.

I don't think he's wrong. You should be single for a year. And hopefully if you give yourself that time you will see that all you have with your ex is smoke and mirrors. And maybe then you can give a different relationship a real shot.