Was he reaching out to me or was this pure coincidence?

Sorry, I feel so silly even posting this but it's literally been on my mind for such a long time, and well I would really appreciate your comments/advice so much!

Back in March I met someone online, well through PS4 on our favourite game. I'm 23 now and he's 25 and both of us live in different countries, as he's in Italy. We'd be playing games pretty much for hours and hours each day, sometimes during longer sessions pretty much all day (with breaks of course!). Sometimes we'd party chat, but I never really wanted to because there was such a language barrier, he knew barely any english and same with me italian and we'd be using translate apps or breaking things properly to basic to say whatever we needed to say! I started trying to learn a little italian to say whatever I needed to say, but because I'm a student as well, it was a struggle to balance the time etc.

We knew what each other looked like as we saw each others photos etc. We had an argument one day, over something silly, I started getting upset and then he must have realised, stopped and started being nice to me and then said that "It would be hard to forget someone as beautiful as you" but I was so well emotional at the time I kinda ignored it and went to bed. Next day he asked me if I was crying the night before, but I told him I didn't want to talk about it, so maybe he realised how much I really liked him. I really did like him, soooo much, although we didn't know each other for a long period of time, we spoke/played pretty much everyday all day. We had plans to meet up too for when he was going to the UK and me Italy, as I told him I've always wanted to go.

Had another fall out a few days later, over a misunderstanding which I was trying to explain to him. Anyway we fell out and that was it, him telling me to disapear from his life etc, so I respected that and left him to it and didn't reply.

Last month was his birthday, and we both have a mutual friend in common online. His friend (I don't think they know each other in real life) and I don't speak or even play with each other. But last month a few days before his birthday, his friend invited me to play, sending me a game invite (which is very specific and only one can be sent at a time, so I see it as though you only send it to people you really want to join you). I was busy at the time so couldn't join, but he sent me a normal invite later on and I accepted. Didn't realise until I was in the menu etc that it was the guy I fell out with that was hosting and in the game (so he could have kicked me/stopped me from playing, but he didn't). We'd always have a set routine or way of doing things and it wasn't like that and we'd do that in order to save time. I could tell he was being distant, also no messages or anything from him and no one else in the game was speaking. For the next round, it wasn't him that invited me (when he had the option to now), it was his friend, who as I mentioned before who never invites me to anything. (Even though it wasn't long before his birthday, as we didn't know each other as long as maybe other people have and his birthday was only mentioned a couple times in the time we spoke, I don't well think he could be angry cos I never said Happy Birthday to him).

This was pretty much a month directly after we fell out, and I was wondering do you think he told his friend to invite me to join them? Or do you think that this was pure coincidence?! Noticed that his stats didn't change as much as well they used to before we fell out, making me think that he's not been playing this game as much as he used to and him joining things etc to make more friends, which again he never used to. I've been more upset over me and him falling out, than over serious long term relationships I've had over the past few years, that's just how much I like this guy! I'm still good friends with my ex and I was spending literally all my time chatting with this guy on PS4, me and my ex barely spoke. I had to go on holiday for a little while too whilst we was friends, and during that time I missed that guy soooo much! He's literally been on my mind everyday, since that last gameplay with his friend, me and his friend haven't played since as I've not been online.

Why dont you try dating in real world?

Why dont you try dating in real world?

I've been more upset over me and him falling out, than over serious long term relationships I've had over the past few years, that's just how much I like this guy!

I have "dated in the real world" . I'm here for advice on THIS situation, not something else.

Maybe he did ask his friend to invite you and maybe he didn't. That's for him to know. Let's hypothetically say that he did ask his friend. He still has not spoken to you, ok he could have kicked you out but didn't but he may just need more players or maybe he is showing you some respect in some way because he played with you in the past. In my opinion, he should make the first move to contact you if that was his intention in getting his friend to invite you. Hold your ground and do not contact him even if it's his birthday. If you are fighting this early on I don't think he is good for you.

My advice is to block him and his friend and try and get over him. First of all, LDR are very hard to maintain and unless you guys are getting along like a house on fire (which you are not) than I don't think it's worth the mental strain. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you and not let a silly argument get in the way of your relationship.

Maybe he did ask his friend to invite you and maybe he didn't. That's for him to know. Let's hypothetically say that he did ask his friend. He still has not spoken to you, ok he could have kicked you out but didn't but he may just need more players or maybe he is showing you some respect in some way because he played with you in the past. In my opinion, he should make the first move to contact you if that was his intention in getting his friend to invite you. Hold your ground and do not contact him even if it's his birthday. If you are fighting this early on I don't think he is good for you.

 

My advice is to block him and his friend and try and get over him. First of all, LDR are very hard to maintain and unless you guys are getting along like a house on fire (which you are not) than I don't think it's worth the mental strain. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you and not let a silly argument get in the way of your relationship.

Thank you, I would like to see how it goes, especially seeing as theres been no changes or anything since that day, but I'm deffo gonna stick to not contacting him, with the way he was I think it's for him to contact me/apologise first.

I've been more upset over me and him falling out, than over serious long term relationships I've had over the past few years, that's just how much I like this guy!

One of the problems with getting to know people online is that your imagination will fill in the gaps which are inevitable in this kind of "relationship". You don't know what his situation actually is, other than what he's told you... heck, he could be married, be seeing other girls, look totally different or have a life totally different to the one he presents you with. If you're dating someone locally, you'd get a handle on this kind of thing much more quickly.

A fantasy relationship can operate just as powerfully in an emotional sense as a real one would, as you have seen. You haven't got enough information to know what this guy's about. You don't even speak the same language!

So, if you want to carry on with the game and you enjoy that scene, that's great. But I think you're wise not to contact him.

You'd better not go there alone. After all, there are so many bad guys.