I'm really struggling

I am 42. This last relationship has taken me too depths of despair I am really struggling to overcome. My life is ending not beginning. I should be set. I am no where close. My heath is in tough shape. I haven't been able to enjoy my usual summer activities which brings me further down.

I'm so broken. Life seems pointless. I work hard. Have more bills than money. Fun is elusive. Hormones whacked. Surgery has not repaired the bleeding issue. Now I have a skin infection the antibiotics I'm on mean removal of some foods I usually enjoy.

I feel like it will just never get better.

You're facing some tough stuff. Are you single at the moment? If so, now could be an opportunity to figure some things out before getting into another relationship that could end badly.

I've got a lot going on in my life that I'd like to change as well. Sometimes I feel helpless, but ultimately I do control a lot of outcomes -- and I am always able to decide how to feel about my circumstances and how I choose to react to them.

I would love to change everything at once, but that approach never works. So I find something small to change, and slowly do more of it over time. Just like water gradually wearing away stone eventually carved the Grand Canyon, big changes start with small but persistent steps.

I'm sorry you are so down. Concentrate on things you can control. Make small goals. Is there anyway you can get rid of some of your expenses? If you can't eat stuff you like what about trying new things to eat?

Jetta, I'm not privy to the bleeding issue you refer to, but allow me to say this in full confidence. If you are mobile at all and able to work then you have tools still available to you. Often times when relationships end, our hearts, stomach, and brain just turn into a pure liquid of crap. A treatment for the heartache ailment is this: -Volunteer at pick a charity/event/cause of your choice.

Why is volunteering such a great sedative to a broken heart?

1. Because only when you have a broken heart are you truly in your most humble state as a human being.

2. Compassion for others will help you give that excess love energy that's circulating in your veins and burning the arteries to those who need it!

3. You'll build some meaningful relationships and friends

Jetta, you're like the rest of us and I'm included - You're not bitter or broken at your circumstance (medical/ heart ache) You're spirt is malnourished because it hasn't connected with society in a while. God is telling you to get active and get moving. Volunteer either physically, or join online groups and network with great people like those on this site. Learn something new, or make a video and teach people a skill you enjoy talking about. Whatever it is Jetta, you are a beautiful creature from God, who's allowing her inner fears to tear down her spirt. Don't let fear steal your soul. Don't let fear make you think you're not worth it. Most importantly, never allow fear to tear down your hope!

Will pray for you! Fyi you're only 3 years older than me so... I mean I'm single