Kiakitty Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 So my ex and I are done. After numerous on and off attempts to "fix" our relationship. This would be OK but we share a son. He told me he wanted to be in our son's life, however, he is not intrested in childsupport, only visitation. I am struggling to take care of our son. I don't ask for anything. Because of his abusive behavior has allowed me to feel the need to close all doors with him. I love him, I wished we could work it out. But he's the type of person who play victim in order to justify his evil ways. It's like talking to a brick wall, one minute hot, one minute cold. He has it in his mind that I'm a bad person, only to make himself feel better. And all of this has taken an emotional toll on me. It hurt. I feel like I have to protect my son and myself from his indecisive feelings. I feel like he's not ready to be a father. He only want to be involved because it look good. And he has drug my named through the dirt to everyone he know. I hate this and I wish it was easier. I'm not going to igniciate child support. I feel like when he's ready to develop a healthy respectful relationship with me for the sake of our son, then I'll be ready. So am I wrong for keeping my distance? He doesn't try to talk to me. He only answer if I ask. So I'm deciding to let everything go. I'm 22 by the way, he's 25. He is in a rebound relationship, and I don't date. Will he ever come around, or will he decide to leave us for good? Anybody could tell me what he possibly could be thinking? Any clues? Advice? I also have to include that he said he would buy our son everything he need food,diapers, clothes,toys, ect. But he does not want to be placed on child support. He doesn't appreciate the fact that I don't have to be so kind and consider his finances. But he could afford it. Why dont he consider my feelings and my finances....he make way more than me....wayyy more. Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Anyone who won't help take care of their son isn't worth trying with. Get help via a women's shelter and get on with you and your sons life. This link may help. I wish you well. If I can help further, please ask. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 If he is the biological father, file for child support. His wages will be garnished whether he likes it or not. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 I also have to include that he said he would buy our son everything he need food,diapers, clothes,toys, ect. But he does not want to be placed on child support. He doesn't appreciate the fact that I don't have to be so kind and consider his finances. But he could afford it. Why dont he consider my feelings and my finances....he make way more than me....wayyy more. You need to get an attorney, ASAP. Since he's choosing to act like a spoiled child, it's time to give him a wake up call and force him to take responsibility for a life he created. You owe it to you and your child, to have the support needed to maintain a fair shake in life. I wouldn't let him dance his way around this, and once you put your foot done he'll be singing a different tune. In any event, don't sell yourself short... Link to comment
jobelle Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 Have you read about narcissistic personality disorder? Your ex sounds very much like a narcissist. I don't know where you live but if you can, you should definitely file for child support. This should not be a "choice" for him. As the father of the child he must pay his fair share. As for the rest, I say stay way from him for good. You will never be happy with him. Link to comment
Kiakitty Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 Have you read about narcissistic personality disorder? Your ex sounds very much like a narcissist. I don't know where you live but if you can, you should definitely file for child support. This should not be a "choice" for him. As the father of the child he must pay his fair share. As for the rest, I say stay way from him for good. You will never be happy with him. I'm literally afraid to. He is violent and I'm afraid he's going to try to hurt me or try to ruin my life. I know this sound a bit nuts but, I don't have the confidence to go over his head and do so. Even when we are now over for good he's controlling me.... Link to comment
dias Posted November 9, 2015 Share Posted November 9, 2015 You should file for child support . You will struggle a lot in the future if you let it go. Hire an attorney and communicate with your ex only through your lawyer. Do you have a job? Link to comment
Kiakitty Posted November 9, 2015 Author Share Posted November 9, 2015 You should file for child support . You will struggle a lot in the future if you let it go. Hire an attorney and communicate with your ex only through your lawyer. Do you have a job? Yes but I don't think that I'm able to afford a lawyer right now. Link to comment
Kiakitty Posted November 12, 2015 Author Share Posted November 12, 2015 So I did I tonnnn of research on narcissist. And indeed he is one. Now I have this overwhelming sense to tell him that he is in fact a narc. However, the only way to get through this is enjoy the fact that he is one and not to acknowledge this "silent treatment". In other words after reading all that I don't want anything to do with him and I just want him to leave me alone. I plan to get an order of protection against him until I can figure of the legal situation of keeping our son in his life. I want to thank you so much for this insight. I had no idea. Link to comment
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