My girlfriend and her ex

Okay so this is a bit of a longer one and has only just happened in the past hour or so.

So, me and my girlfriend have been together 3 months now. I kind of had a fling with her the day after she broke up with her boyfriend who she's been with for a year. Her boyfriend was very controlling and upset her quite often, and I guess in the end from all the arguing that's why it didn't turn out. Since they were dating (the boy was a mutual friend of mine at the time), he did not allow her to talk to any of her friends and didn't let her have a life outside of him, yet she put up with it for so long. Anyway, 2 weeks after they'd broken up they finally decided it was best to stop talking (at this point we'd seen each other more than once and things were getting more relationship status and not casual sex). Obviously at that point I was too shy to say, oh you need to stop talking to him, or else I can't be here etc. I wanted that, but obviously this was great news for me. Anyway, 3 months on, we found out he's been texting her mum asking how (my girlfriends) 2 children are (5 and 7). Her mum told her the ex had been speaking to her about the kids, saying how he misses them and wants to see them again. At this point I get really anxious about the whole situation. I said woah, let this be clear, if you start talking to him again I'm gone, I'm not having that. She agreed that she wouldn't and made a promise to me. Today, she broke that promise. She had been speaking to him behind my back since 8am this morning, and she only just told me a few hours ago. Now, first thing I said was, can I see what you guys have been saying and I asked for screenshots. She said no, and wouldn't let me and the reason she gave was that there was personal things of his in there which she had promised to not tell anyone, including me. At this point I was really upset; the fact she was willing to keep her promise to him, an ex boyfriend, and break the promise she made to me about not ever contacting him. Apparently he text her first. We've talked about it, and I said how would you feel if the tables turned? You wouldn't be able to rest knowing I was talking about my ex...she understood this and realised how hard she was being on me. She still didn't want to tell me. I asked if she'd tell me what they talked about without screenshots and she said he was just asking how the kids were, and reminded me that he left her and it wasn't the other way round and she'd never go back to him, ever. But there's just this thing in my head saying, she's willing to break a promise to you and at the same time keep a promise to someone else who's just an ex boyfriend and a has been. towards the end of the phone call I had with her, I told her how little and useless this was all making me feel and to be betrayed like that and feel insignificant, and she said look I'm just going to block him (she never did before, she just deleted his number) and then also delete his number so she can't contact him and he can't contact her. I agreed to this and warned her if she ever spoke to him again then I'm just going to leave because I won't be treated like that. She said this is fair and that they never said they missed each other or anything of the sort, it was purely about the children. It's now all finished, but I just cannot let go of the fact she broke a promise to me and kept a promise for him and wouldn't show me what she'd said. Am I over-reacting? Please help me on this

Yes, you are over-reacting. She's blocking and deleting him for you which are actions showing you that you are more important to her then he is. It's none of your business what the personal things were that she promised not to tell anyone about. Your girlfriend has integrity and has kept her word to both of you. HE contacted her first, it's not like she sought him out behind your back. She also volunteered to tell you that he text her. She didn't hide it from you. If you don't settle down and learn to be less possessive, then she may very well start hiding things from you just to avoid the hassle.

You're fine, she's good... get on enjoying your relationship without angst and suspicion.

Yeah, in a ways, I'd say your over reacting.

YOUR the one who jumped into things with her immedietly after they ended. Didnt even give her time to breathe!

Of course there's going to be some reminants still floating around for a little bit after a BU.

So, how about you back off & stop putting her on the spot like this.

The only reason you should be upset would be if you're assuming she's messing around- which I highly doubt she is!

IF you have your doubts, then maybe you shouldn't be with her.. right?

The needs to be trust etc.

if it's too much for you, then leave.

I'll be honest, she did want me to come and see her the day they split, she asked me to do that, and I did ask her if she wanted some time to think and be alone and she said that she needed someone to be there right away and she wanted that in person, so I acted upon that. I'm not upset about the fact they're talking, that's fine, it's just the fact that she would break a promise she made to me herself so easily yet keep one she made to her ex boyfriend and refuse to break it.

I'll be honest, she did want me to come and see her the day they split, she asked me to do that, and I did ask her if she wanted some time to think and be alone and she said that she needed someone to be there right away and she wanted that in person, so I acted upon that. I'm not upset about the fact they're talking, that's fine, it's just the fact that she would break a promise she made to me herself so easily yet keep one she made to her ex boyfriend and refuse to break it.

it's just the fact that she would break a promise she made to me herself so easily yet keep one she made to her ex boyfriend and refuse to break it

Stop ruining your relationship with what I see as pettiness. You've been very controlling about this and she's done her best to accommodate you. If you still can't trust her then your relationship is as good as over anyway.