Move away from my family?

I want to move to California. I live in NY and am an only child, I've been living with my parents for a few years now since moving back home so they have really gotten used to me and vice versa. I truly fear moving so far away (9hr flight) but I fell in love with Cali when visiting on a vacation. Being an only child and having no other family or relatives, I fear leaving my parents for many reasons, especially if something happens...and I'm not there. I also fear leaving my parents alone because they fight a lot and I have become their mediator, without me they would explode on each other which worries me. I also worry for their happiness because they don't like each other and all they have is me. They would probably be more miserable without getting to see me more often, And I also would be sad not to see my parents except for maybe once or perhaps twice a year. That really is awful to think about. I wish they could quit their jobs and move with me to Cali. what do I do? What's the right decision? Should I not move to Cali and just move out of my parents home somewhere closer to home and forget about my desire to live in Cali? Or should I take the chance and leave them to start my own life far away from them? It's tough because family is important especially having no other family but them. But my life and my dreams and happiness is important to me too. I mean, I don't know yet if Cali will make me happy as I have not tried to live there yet to experience it.

I'm also an only child so I know how you feel. But I say go. You need to be happy and as sad as your parents are going to be that you're gone, I'm sure that they would want you to be happy.

Your situation is just like mine. I moved to another country 3 years (it is a 20 hour plane ride) and it is still a daily battle with having my relationship with my boyfriend there and my family back home. Ultimately it is up to you, it is your life and you only get one. Maybe I made the wrong decision? I do not know. I guess only time can tell. I feel like If I didn't do this, I would still be miserable back home in my bedroom and wasting my life. My family will hopefully always be there for me if I need them.

Omg, it's only California. Move already!

As for your parents, left alone they can finally deal with their problems.

Both you and they need to cut the apron strings.

We live in a very mobile society, with military families moving every few years, people going to other cities or states for college, moving for jobs, etc. That's what skype, phone calls and e-mails are for. My family moved from the East Coast to the West Coast when I was a child. At 21, I was a military wife and lived in about 5 different places. My brother lives in another country. My parents told a relative who was complaining about her daughter marrying and living in another state, "Kids grow up and sometimes move away. Get over it."

You are not responsible for being your parents referee. If they complain to you, tell them to go to a marriage counselor, because you are not a professional. If your heart tells you to go to California, why not try it while you're young and have the money to do so. Just know that it's a high cost of living to live there, so make sure you can afford it. Now that my parents are old, they have moved by me so I can help them out with their health problems. I didn't want to move to their state. Your parents might do that one day, but for now, get some independence from them and enjoy what you want to do. There are always vacations to visit each other.

Thank you for everyone's advice, I am really taking it all in to heart. I know Cali is expensive but I'm not really planning to stay there for settling for a family, I just want to go there to get an apartment with people looking for a roommate and enjoy the weather, lifestyle and also I would be moving for my career, to attempt to get work there in my field while I'm young. I think it's also hard because my parents are foreign. They don't have friends, I have to look out for them so they don't get tricked or swindled by others selling things, etc. and they are just hard workers so I feel very worried and sorry for them, they really don't have much in their lives except me. I know phone calls are great and even FaceTime but the bigger issue is being so far away that I can't come in a hurry if needed and not being to physically see each other except maybe once a year.

Before you move out here I would suggest having a job lined up for you already.

Do you have any friends/family out here in California?