Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Friends with benefits - Advantages and Disadvantages

  1. #1
    OwnWorstEnemy
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Female

    Friends with benefits - Advantages and Disadvantages



    Hi,

    So I recently ended things with someone whom I was seeing because I was developeing feelings for him knowing he did not want a relationship (he told me from the start). After breaking it off, he admitted he had feelings for me to but is 25 and a footballer so obviously, he wants to remain single and enjoy his life, as we all do. I'm 19 and I fell for him quite hard after dating him for 6 months but we have remained friends by texting etc (every day). I am the only girl he has had a reltionship with and he always tells me how much he cares and values me and it was his idea to be friends - I was going to cut him off alltogether.

    Anyway, It's been a while and I told him I'm over him and it was just a crush and no biggy. The conversation somehow got on to the topic of sex and he has asked me to be a FWB. I have never done this before and although it sounds great - Male company, sex, and still have freedom - Ive been told it can end badly.

    I do not have feelings for him anymore as I realise me and him would not be suitable as a couple but we are great friends and have so much laughs and are sexually attracted to each other. I've been told I can be very niave, so I would like to know from your personal experiences and advantages and disadvantages?
    Thanks

  2. #2
    DylanNotorious
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Nigeria
    Age
    31
    Posts
    3,289
    Gender
    Male
    1. You only get to see him when it suits him.

    2. He ends up making all the rules.

    3. It's extremely hard to walk away from.

    4. You will have to put up with other girls being on the scene/him sleeping with others

    Sorry, couldn't think of any advantages.

  3. #3
    markie6
    Platinum Member markie6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Somewhere Beyond The Sea
    Posts
    2,820
    Gender
    Male
    There are only advantages if you can remain emotionally unavailable as most are who participate in FWB ... sadly most seem to think it's a pathway to somebodies heart... and it very rarely is... it's a polite way of people using each other

  4. #4
    DylanNotorious
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Nigeria
    Age
    31
    Posts
    3,289
    Gender
    Male
    1. You can't complain when he does not text/call/email or facebook you.

    2. He uses your body for really his own sexual gratification, instead of respecting your body as a temple.

    3. Your friends will get sick and tired of you moaning about him.

    That's all for now, I'll think of more soon.

  5. #5
    OwnWorstEnemy
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    5
    Gender
    Female
    Thank you Dylan, I liked your replies, very honest and humerous and your probably right as I could see it going that way. I guess I would be settling for less even though it would be a short time thing.

  6. #6
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,750
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    123
    DylanNotorious, those only apply if she had serious feelings for him and was hoping for a relationship (which ofc might end up being the case, but for now she said it isn't). So, no need to be that negative and pessimistic.

    Personally I'd say go for it. What've you got to lose? you can try and see how it goes, I mean life's short. With all the pessimism on this forum I sometimes wonder if these people ever have fun in their lives.

    Haha and please, "respecting her body as a temple". Sex is sex. Everytime it happens, the body IS used for "sexual gratification", no matter if male or female. Only difference is that it's without a commitment. He might very well still respect her, seeing as they've been friends for a while and he, as he says, values her a lot.

  7. #7
    MikNomis
    Platinum Member MikNomis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Age
    26
    Posts
    1,906
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    10
    You'll be a booty call, are you okay with that?

  8. #8
    paradisa
    Silver Member paradisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Age
    31
    Posts
    327
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4
    I read the post you made a week ago, October 16. I don't think this is a good idea. There is a lot of drama already in this situation and even if you feel that you are over him right at this moment, that feeling may not last. I advise you move on and seek someone more worthy of your attention and affection. Good luck.

  9. #9
    Snny
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    4,574
    Thanked
    485
    Quote Originally Posted by paradisa [Register to see the link]
    I read the post you made a week ago, October 16. I don't think this is a good idea. There is a lot of drama already in this situation and even if you feel that you are over him right at this moment, that feeling may not last. I advise you move on and seek someone more worthy of your attention and affection. Good luck.
    I want to piggy back on this.

    OP, you said back on that thread you were 20... here you say 19?

    Some important details mentioned from that previous thread that REALLY stand out:
    has had a lot of one night stands.
    He even made the agreement that we both wouldnt go elsewhere (sleeping with other people or dating)
    I questioned him on this last night and all I got was 'I know you deserve better than me, I'm always letting you down.'
    So he slept around... plans on doing so... and expects you to not date or sleep with other people? Sounds like he wants to keep you to himself and can justify sleeping with the next girl is "ok" because he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Plus he has zero self confidence and pushes you away. Sounds like he plans to take you on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride.

    Yea... don't agree to the "friends with benefits" (the polite euphemisum for "Booty Call") with this one. He doesn't have a clue what he wants and neither do you. Plus he wants to suck you into his drama. And since you already had developed feelings for him before... and you think they're gone... they will come back. I guarantee it.

    Let him go.
    Last edited by Snny; 10-23-2012 at 06:40 PM.

  10.  

Top Threads
Would love a man's opinion!
Up until today, I hadn't seen my boyfriend in two weeks, due our opposite and busy schedules. I called out of work today to spend some time with him
Some help ladies
What does it mean when a girl shows a lot of hope for us and verbal effection but then I break trust and now she says she only liked me but now the
Does the "Girlfriend" Label Really Matter??
I really want some honest insight so Iím going to post a lot of background. Iím recently divorced and have been separated from my ex for over a year
Found intimate pics of bf on Internet
Hi, I've been with my guy for 5 months but known him much longer. Overall he treats me well and is a good guy but I keep finding things about him
New girlfriend has a history of serial cheating and promiscuity.
Hi everyone. So judging by the title of this threat youíre probably thinking ďobviously donít get involved with this girl, youíre just begging to be
My boyfriend of almost 3 years has been lying the whole time.
I don't know what to do, or how to forgive him. We have been together for almost 3 years. We have been perfect, we have a 1 year old little girl
Not being "too" available.
I posted a few days ago about the younger guy I've been dating for 6 months and how he doesn't want to use BG/GF labels. I got some great feedback
Featured Threads
Ugly pictures
We had a professional photographer come in at work. I used the photo and put it on my dating profile. But when my Roomie saw it,she said take it
Not being "too" available.
I posted a few days ago about the younger guy I've been dating for 6 months and how he doesn't want to use BG/GF labels. I got some great feedback
I am having difficulty accepting my boyfriends bisexuality for no reason
So here goes; the main reason why I got this account here is probably because I am so ashamed of myself and that because I am surrounded by either
relationship advice
hi... I'll start by saying i'm a guy, i just really needed a woman's point of view for this, so i hope you can help me! My mom is paying for my
Seeing ex tomorrow..so confused. Need advice!
Hi everyone. I'm really confused with my ex. Dated two years; he was very hurt by the breakup. He hasn't dated many people, and I was his first
Needing advice and/or support with ex girlfriend
Ok. Long story short... I ended up in a serious relationship with my best friend of 7 years. The last 3 years of which we were in a serious
I really need some advice and a outside opinion
I really don't know what to do ... My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now she is no longer attracted to me but tells me she loves
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •