Dealing with obsession/insomnia

I have an issue I'd like help with. I try to make logical choices over emotional ones. I take a long time with decisions because I want to make sure I'm seeing the facts clearly. I've been with my girlfriend Anne for 4-5 years now, and this is a logical decision. She is very good to me, and for me. She loves me very much.

10 years ago I feel in love with another girl, Becky. She is pure trouble, kind of a mess... Most mornings when I wake up, I realize that I've been dreaming about her.

Becky is good friends with my girlfriend, Anne. We all hang out often, so I've seen her frequently over the years.

I know that I shouldn't hurt Anne, because I care too much about her.

However, the older I get, and the longer this obsession stays with me, the stronger it feels, and the stranger it's effects on my health. Depression, and over the past few years insomnia, have all branched, (in my unqualified opinion) from me doing the right, logical thing for Anne, and not the emotional thing I need for myself.

So my question to you folks is, why do I want to drive my life off a cliff? Have any of you ever worked through an obsession gracefully? Is there a win/win solution short of becoming a polygamist?

I'm over 30 and feeling a little foolish for this kind of counseling, but it is really eating me up, and I have no one to turn to on it. Thanks in advance for what you've got. -Sleepless

You are obsessing over a decision make a long time ago -- a sort of "the road not taken".

Since you seem to live in a place of logic, take some time to "chart" out the life you might have now, 10 yrs later, with Becky. Be truthfull --- the messes, the drama, the problems...not just the excitement.

Also, while you are at it, think about Anne and how you are treating her. "She is good to you, and loves you very much". Nothing in the whole thread about how you feel about her.

If you can't afford counseling, and want to do it on your own, I suggest doing some hard thinking.