Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: I can get hard and then while having sex penis will go soft.

  1. #1
    Evillink88
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    111
    Thanked
    1

    I can get hard and then while having sex penis will go soft.

    I just got recently engaged after 4 years with my fiancee. I am 27 years old. For the last 2 years, I have been able to get erections but during sex it will go soft sometimes. I just don't understand why sometimes I will have a rock hard erection and other times it will be just hard and then go soft during sex. I do go soft usually when I do doggy style standing up. Occasionally it will happen when she is riding me or when I am on top of her. I tend to notice it happens when I pump hard resulting in me feeling really hot and sweaty. When I go soft, sometimes I can't get hard until the next day. It is really frustrating. I have been to the urologist to get some tests done. Blood flow was normal as well as testosterone levels. I don't get sexually stimulated easily, and I don't think about sex nearly as much as I did years ago. Getting erect was really easy a few years ago but it takes longer now.


    I still masturbate pretty frequently because my fiancee and I are in a LDR, don't yet have our own apartment yet. Could it be that I masturbate too much? Anyone else have this problem? I did have a history of high blood pressure. I live a very active lifestyle playing American handball, basketball, lifting weights, sprinting, and softball.

  2. #2
    somethngwrng
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    nz
    Age
    31
    Posts
    997
    Gender
    Male
    Do you smoke, drink, exercise, get enough sleep.. there are lots of factors.

  3. #3
    Evillink88
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    111
    Thanked
    1
    I don't smoke.
    I don't drink, only when I go out occasionally.
    I exercise almost everyday for more than 2 hours.
    My sleep pattern is irregular. Sometimes I will sleep 10 hours. Other times 5 hours, 2 hours, 7 hours. It is never consistent. Most times I sleep at 4 am.

  4. #4
    ForumGuy
    Platinum Member ForumGuy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Dark Side of the Moon
    Posts
    2,212
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    I've had that problem before and I know it is because I simply don't enjoy sex very much. Seems like a chore to me and always has. I would much rather just get my woman off with my mouth and be done with it.

  5. #5
    In the Dark
    Platinum Member In the Dark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Somewhere to the right of Australia
    Age
    36
    Posts
    5,001
    Thanked
    1
    I get this way if I have sex too frequently.
    Last time I recall having erection problems was when I was having sex for two weeks straight in at least fours hour sessions.

  6. #6
    DeadbySunset
    Member DeadbySunset's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    25
    Gender
    Male
    Well Evillink you are not alone (as the website name implies). I have this problem as well when I am with my wife. I am 26 years old and have been with my wife for four years. I can get hard, but when it comes to sex, it falls flat. Oh yeah by the way, I don't smoke or drink and I exercise not as often as you but I am not that out of shape. As one other poster said, I don't really enjoy sex that much. It was great when I first did it and I used to do it four times a day with my ex g/f. Now I kind of just burnt out on it.

    In the past, I taken some male performance pills to keep me hard. They work to a certain extent. I would recommend some form of male enhancement pill. It doesn't have to be Viagra. If you go to any sex shop, they have pills at the counter. They usually work.

  7. #7
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,226
    Thanked
    354
    You are fine. Repeat. You are fine. It is just the ebb and flow of being a sexual male. Not every time is date night at the senior prom. Just relax and try to stay in the moment. Whatever happens is great. 90% of sex is mental and you will not make things better by getting stress over this. Remember that sex is supposed to be fun. Dial back the anxiety and focus once again on the fun. You will be okay.

  8. #8
    jingletruck
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Flyover country
    Posts
    36
    Quote Originally Posted by Evillink88 [Register to see the link]
    I did have a history of high blood pressure. I live a very active lifestyle playing American handball, basketball, lifting weights, sprinting, and softball.
    High blood pressure is most likely the problem. There are two factors here. One - high blood pressure will prevent the smooth muscles in the penis from relaxing, as well as prevent arteries that supply blood from dilating. This kills your erection. Almost 50% of men age 40-80 with high blood pressure have erection problems. Two - the drugs to treat high blood pressure wreak havoc with erections.

    If you're having consistent problems like this at 27, it's NOT just the usual male jitters. It's physiological and it will probably get worse, not better, unless you fix it now.

    Your doctors will probably recommend sensible diet and exercise in conjunction with drugs. But if I were you and only 27 years old, I'd go all the way extreme. Go to a strict Ornish diet, including the stress relief and meditation parts. Do that for at least a year, it will also drop your cholesterol through the floor. Most doctors don't recommend it unless you ask them, because it takes a lot of discipline to follow.

  9. #9
    george237
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,311
    It's probably all in your head. I remember years ago, about 25 yo, it happened with a one night stand. After that I thought about it non stop so for months I would bring a girl home and have an issue. Somehow I got myself to put it in the back of my mind and just like that I was back and going full throttle. Good luck, and stop thinking about it.

  10. #10
    Dragunov-21
    Platinum Member Dragunov-21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Age
    26
    Posts
    2,107
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Evillink88 [Register to see the link]
    My sleep pattern is irregular. Sometimes I will sleep 10 hours. Other times 5 hours, 2 hours, 7 hours. It is never consistent. Most times I sleep at 4 am.
    That's what's done it for me in the past. If I'm running on empty (be it food or sleep) it's hard (or rather, not).

    Funnily enough, being acutely tired does exactly the opposite.

  11. 11-24-2014, 09:35 PM

Top Threads
Not sure what's going to happen with this threesome
I'm pansexual (attracted to all genders), and due to that have very often received offers of threesomes. I do enjoy having threesomes and have had a
Feedback from the ladies
I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years we have lived together for a year when we have sex it is amazing, but lately it's been less
No good at fingering girls, does this make me look inexperienced?
I am pretty inexperienced but I feel more confident in bed than I used to. I'm in my late twenties and only had sex around 8 or 9 times. I feel
Men/guys, what does it take to fully arouse you (in general)?
..just seeing a woman you find attractive (if so, does it have to be skimpy clothing/underwear? Kissing? Actual stimulation (hand job)?
Featured Threads
He took my sisters virginity!
Well.. Here goes nothing. I don't have anyone to talk to and hoping to get some insight. My mind is confused and my heart is completely
Dating after working in the sex industry
Hey all, I'm coming out of a difficult time in my life where i worked as a sex worker. I just wanted some opinions on how to handle this when I begin
My boyfriend hangs out one on one with his ex am I right to feel uncomfortable?
Hi everyone, I posted here before about how my boyfriend and his ex are close friends. Long story short, they date for two years, realised they were
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Is this just "The 21st Century Woman?"
For the past 5 years, every woman I've dated (ages 25-32 we'll say) has had to stress to me immediately, before anything gets going, that they are
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
My boyfriend curses at me but says he's joking?
Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and while everything has been great so far except that he curses at me but says
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •