Do dumpers ever miss the dumpee?

I know this is a really hard question to answer because every person and every situation is different, but do you think after a 4 yr relationship my ex would ever miss me? I know he had hard times with the breakup, but I chased him for 5 months until he recently told me to never contact him again. I took the breakup really bad as we had spent almost every day together to nothing and he didn't seem to care. I know it's silly to wonder, especially after the person clearly doesn't want you in their life anymore; but do you think he still thinks of me in a nice way at all, or misses me and wonder what i'm up to now that I finally gave up and decided to let go?

Thanks for your replies. much appreciated.

Yes he does think of you and miss you but not enough for him to take action to be with you again. My ex admitted that he misses me and never forgets me but he keeps himself busy to remind him that the breakup decision was the right thing to do.

When you cease to communicate for quite a while, I imagine he'll think of you. Will he want reconciliation? Who knows?

Of course you'll cross his mind on occasion. You guys were together for a long time, a lot of memories were made. But he might not think about you in romantic terms, most likely as a friend.

He may miss you, he may not. It doesn't matter what he thinks, what he feels, what he's doing, or who he's with. The only thing that matters is you. I made the mistake of spending way too much energy and precious time trying to decipher the thoughts and feelings of my ex who left me for her co-worker. Don't waste time on someone who isn't even in your life. I read your other posts. He has made it very clear......please leave him be and concentrate only on you.

Yes he does think of you and miss you but not enough for him to take action to be with you again. My ex admitted that he misses me and never forgets me but he keeps himself busy to remind him that the breakup decision was the right thing to do.

Yes, I agree with this. I have been the "Dumper" in all of my past relationships. Of course break ups SUCK no matter if you're the dumper or dumpee. I did miss my exes but I knew deep down that I had to move on and that it was the right thing to do, despite it really hurting.

thanks guys.... I know I shouldn't pine over him anymore and well I'm doing better... I just wonder if he does think of me or miss me. I get that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. It's just nice to know that after so many years, you're thought of as well. . and not only as the "ex that wouldn't let go".

thanks guys.... I know I shouldn't pine over him anymore and well I'm doing better... I just wonder if he does think of me or miss me. I get that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. It's just nice to know that after so many years, you're thought of as well. . and not only as the "ex that wouldn't let go".

He won't forget you that's for sure since you've been together for so many years. It's just hard that one of you will experience more hurt because of the breakup.

Of course he will still think of you. That goes without saying. You don't need a confirmation of that. But he doesn't want to be with you.

He will absolutely think of you.....4 years is a very long time. Now the question is how do you want him to think of you? Right now he is only thinking of how you have been over the last 5 months, not the girl he dated for 4 years. Give him some silence and let him remember that girl......

well you see although we broke up 5 months ago... we were still in contact because of me. I couldn't let go for these 5 months. I know really pathetic of me!! It's been 1 week now of NC since he told me to never ever get in touch with him again. So really not enough time has passed with me being completely gone. I don't want to call him anymore, or ever run into him - at least for 6 months. The reason why I am wondering this is because I basically pushed him away by constantly being there and showing him just how affected I was. I'm so much better now that he finally shut me down so bad- I NEEDED him to be straight forward so the hope would be gone.

I'm not questioning if he'd come back to me; that is pretty obvious. What I am wondering is after him yelling at me to get out of his life, if he will ever feel any remorse or actually begin to think/miss me when he sees I actually walked away gracefully this time?!

One of my ex boyfriends (of 4.5 years) screamed he hated me and wished I were dead during the week of us breaking up. Shortly after that, within a month, I did NC. Within four months I was hearing from him, and now almost two years later we talk on a fairly regular basis. He's admitted all the mistakes he made, and wishes me nothing but happiness because I deserve it...and to not put up with any sh*t from any man, that I'm too good of a woman. People say things when they're mad, and at the time may feel they need to and feel they mean it. You're right to not contact him again, but I wouldn't contact or talk to him again unless he contacts you first, or you run into him and he acknowledges you. You never know when someone is serious, so always take it that they are. And if it makes you feel better, or at least what I tell myself for more determination....if this is what you (them) want, then this is what you'll (them) get and then follow through.

Hey,

I think there wil always be a part of him that wil think of you fondly, he probably thinks about you sometimes with a smile on his face, that doesnt mean he will want you back or even have regrets about whats happened, i still occasionally think about exs from 20 years ago with fondness, he maybe angry right now and want you to leave him alone but at some point he will remember the good bits.

Hope this helps my friend

They sure can, after I broke up with my ex I missed him...just not romantically however. I missed him as a friend.

There will always be fond memories for the dumper if the dumpee is dignified and either goes NC or remains friends if both parties are comfortable. The only thing that changes that is if hateful comments come from either side, all my memories of my ex are corrupted.

I have no doubt that he misses you. That's probably why he doesn't want to have any contact with you. It will probably be too painful for him to contact you. If you have been together for 4 years, then there are so many great experiences and memories I'm sure you have shared together. He will never forget them!

It's better to believe they don't miss you. Honestly if someone misses you they'd let you know. I don't believe they miss you but not enough to reach out to you because honestly you're with someone for a while and gain this connection, share intimate moments, laughs, tears, anger etc with this person. How can you suddenly just stop missing them where you don't care if you talk to them ever again? Doesn't make sense. Everyone I miss I want to talk to, see etc.

It's better to believe they don't miss you. Honestly if someone misses you they'd let you know. I don't believe they miss you but not enough to reach out to you because honestly you're with someone for a while and gain this connection, share intimate moments, laughs, tears, anger etc with this person. How can you suddenly just stop missing them where you don't care if you talk to them ever again? Doesn't make sense. Everyone I miss I want to talk to, see etc.

That's exactly how I see it. I know it's been several months that we are broken up, but he NEVER made it a point to reach out to me and see how I was doing. During this time my parents were getting divorced and he knew exactly how I was feeling with everything going on, and STILL he did not reach out to me. It was so hard for me to understand, how after 4 years together, this person does not miss you enough or even care slightly to ask you how you're doing during a difficult time. I am a true believer that if someone truly misses you, they will not let you go so easily... at least after a few months they will come to their senses and want to work things out with you. I don't know...... he simply didn't want our relationship anymore because we were arguing too much, and I respect that, but I honestly believe we could have fixed our problems, at least after a bit of time apart, you know? Every morning when I wake up, I still have severe heart ache dealing with the fact that he is gone and now I cannot ever reach out to him because he specifically asked me to leave him alone for good. I really wonder if it's normal that after nearly 6 months being apart, that am still missing/hurting over him and the breakup??? He clearly isn't and I wish I wasn't either.

Thanks for all your replies --- really helps to get a different perspective sometimes.

It's normal to still miss someone you love a lot and feel the pain. It will get easier. I think it's harder when they don't even seem to care that you're gone. I agree that if you broke up because of fighting then it could be worked out. I also believe in what goes around comes around and if someone can throw you away that easily then they stopped caring way before they told you and that's wrong.

In all honesty. Breaking up with someone has always made me feel bad. But bad for hurting the person. Or bad the relationship failed....but did I miss the person? Not really. Often I felt relief.

In all honesty. Breaking up with someone has always made me feel bad. But bad for hurting the person. Or bad the relationship failed....but did I miss the person? Not really. Often I felt relief.

Well... I can understand this as well.. When we first broke up back in October he told me he felt relieved from the breakup..and man did that ever kill me!!! But then, about a month ago, I had gone to see him (bad move) and he started to cry and told me he still loved me and it was hard on him too. Really, I thought that was a load of crap considering he had not showed me any sign of caring about me and treated me as though he was so happy without me. That was when I acted like I was strong and able to move on. Only then did it affect him. But, when I acted pathetic, he wanted nothing to do with me.

I honestly don't believe we could ever be together anymore. There has been way too much damage and pain done to me since we broke up. . but the fact remains that I miss him and think of him all the time. I know he likely doesn't miss me or think of me as much as I do him, but seriously...it would be nice to know he does have that pinch of hurt from missing me from time to time!!

It is normal. 10 months form BU and I still feal the same She contacted me only ones just to chat about nothing